Lex Robinson: As you all know, while Sin Wrestling was on hiatus, we lost one of our best friends and greatest talents. The man known as Tony Millennia passed away. He was beloved by many and missed by just as much. Let's pay our final respects with a 10-bell salute.
Everyone in the venue quiets to a hush. Not a word is spoken, as the bell-keeper strikes the bell once... twice...
...3 times... 4 times... 5 times...
...6 times... 7 times... 8 times...
...9... 10...
A final one minute salute is given. When that time is up, one last Tony Millennia chant breaks out, honouring the fallen comrade and friend.
Some words are witten on the bottom left corner...
September 28th, 2010. An undisclosed hospital.
The cameras finally turn on, showing Chris Extreme walking through the hospital corridors. He passes a bevy of nurses, while a "Code Blue" is issued on the speakers. He looks agitated, but progresses forward, finally stopping outside of a door.
Chris Extreme: This is it. The truth is in here.
Pushing the door open, Chris steps inside. What he views is simply awful.
Voice: You're here.
Sitting before him is an immobile Corey Page, who has been strapped in to a wheelchair. He remains stiff as a board, unable to move any limbs beneath his neck, a result of being shot by an unknown assailant back in April.
Chris Extreme: I got the coffee you wanted. Now, cheer up.
Looking closer, tears seem to have welled up in Corey Page's eyes. He begins talking to himself.
Corey Page: I can't believe it. I really can't believe it.
Chris Extreme: Get over it, for Christ's sake.
Corey Page: I can't believe I am crippled. I have no use in my legs or my arms. All because some asshole tried blowing my head off.
Chris Extreme: The doctors said they're working on a fix!
Corey Page: [holding back tears] And worst of it all, you're the only person that came to visit me while I was hospitalized.
Chris Extreme: Hey, there's nothing wrong with that!
Corey Page: Not even Morgana came. I thought I was her friend. She was too busy with her other friends. She doesn't want me. Nobody wants me.
Chris Extreme: True. Cheer up. Don't be such a faggot.
Corey Page: Oh god, I'm tearing up. Why didn't she come visit me?
Unable to wipe the tears out of his own eyes, Chris Extreme is forced to do so. Using a napkin, he rubs at Corey's eyes, getting rid of the tears.
Chris Extreme: There, there. Christopher is there for you. Christopher never left your side. Christopher visited you in the hospital.
Corey Page: But she was my friend. She lied. She lied to me. It's just not right. Why did she do that to me? I trusted her! I... I...
Corey tries to slam his fist down on his wheelchair. Of course, he is a useless cripple, so nothing happens.
Corey Page: I... I can't even make a fist! Oh my god, why couldn't someone just put a bullet in me?!
Out of nowhere, Chris pulls out a shotgun and points it at Corey Page's face.
Chris Extreme: If you insist.
Corey Page: No! No! God! No!
Chris Extreme: Fine.
Reluctantly stuffing the shotgun inside of Corey's wheelchair, Chris bows his head, letting Corey continue.
Corey Page: I thought she was my friend. I guess not. My god, why did she do this? At least I have you--...
Chris Extreme: Yup.
Corey Page: At least I have Sin Wrestling--...
Chris Extreme: Uh, about that...
Corey Page: What?
Chris Extreme: It sort of died.
Corey Page: Oh, for fuck's sake. Get me out of this shithole hospital. I have to fix things.
Chris Extreme: K, let's go.
Chris goes to walk off, forgetting about Corey's immobility. Corey has to clear his throat, regaining Chris Extreme's attention.
Chris Extreme: Oh, fuck me. I forgot.
Corey Page: Push me.
Heeding Corey's words, Chris Extreme pushes Corey Page on his wheelchair, shoving him out the door and out of the hospital.
Corey Page: God, how am I going to jerk off? You're gonna have to do it for me.
Making an awkward face, Chris Extreme regrettably rolls up his sleeve and the camera fades out. It's time for Illusions to get underway.
"Myers (10.31)" by Blitzkid starts playing and a spooky orange glow hovers over tonight's venue, a warehouse in Ontario, housing tonight's Sin Wrestling pay per view, Illusions. There are jack-o-lanterns, skeletons, caskets and other haunted items setup, giving an eerie atmosphere for tonight's event. The cameras show our hosts for this evening, Steve Hebert and Lex Robinson, sitting behind a comfortable table.
Lex Robinson: Welcome everyone to Illusions!
Steve Hebert: Welcome back, you mean. It's been -- what? 6 months since we've last been on the air?
Lex Robinson: Oh yes, about that long; but that wait's about to come to an end. Tonight, we will be crowning a new World Champion, using a one-night only tournament to determine the new champion. Chris Carson--...
Steve Hebert: Let me put it to your, folks: Chris Carson was unlawfully stripped by Corey Page. Isn't that ridiculous?
Lex Robinson: We were out of actions for months! He had no other choice. Don't mock a man in a wheelchair!
Steve Hebert: Hey, it's not my fault that motherfucker got shot in the head and can't walk.
Lex Robinson: They're still looking for the guy that did it. Maybe it WAS you.
An orchestra is shown by the entrance and they begin playing a version of Europe's "Final Countdown". Seconds later, 123 Man, the bald-headed buffoon arrives, looking pumped. On his way to the ringside area, he receives cheers from the crowd, while the conductor has the orchestra play to their maximum effort. At first, the crowd is unsure of all the commotion, but now they feed into the hype, as if feeling sorry for 123 Man, who enters the ring and gets himself checked over by the referee, knocking quite well the process. The cello and orchestra come to a screeching halt, with the audience responding kindly, watching as 123 Man begins to circle around the ring.
Steve Hebert: Now the show officially begins! Now Sin Wrestling is back, baby! I think I’m wet. And that’s not behind the ears! Chris f'n Carson is coming out soon. Actually, I take away that "f'n", it's not very Christianlike of me. My bad.
Lex Robinson: Stop it.
Lex Robinson raises his arms in mock defeat.
The entrance starts with a blank screen and no lights, save for only one high-beam shining from the ceiling to the entrance and the chorus of Creed's "Overcome", with the music ripped away from it.
I'm entitled to overcome
Completely stunned, I'm numb
Knock me down, throw me to the floor
There's no pain, I can feel no more
I'm entitled to overcome
The entrance song fades in with solid light coming from the screens, dimming into a "Chris Carson" logo with a cross embossed behind it. Once Carson comes onto the stage and walks towards the ring, he looks peaceful and ignorant of the crowd, the fixed spotlight following him to the ring, keeping him illuminated. He climbs into the ring and shrugs his robe off with his palms upturned, the lights flashing on. Carson's face hasn't changed its neutral expression, and he steps back into his corner to wait for the bell.
The bell rings and Chris Carson goes to work on the newbie, 123 Man with a series of vicious strikes to the temple that causes 123 Man to stumble back into the nearest turnbuckle, while attempting to cover up from the barrage of punches thrown his way.
Steve Hebert: Beautiful!
Lex Robinson: Carson is surely showing this former referee what it’s like to truly compete in the squared circle. He is not easing up, in the least.
Steve Hebert: Simply beautiful.
Lex Robinson: ...Disturbing.
The bell rings...
Steve Hebert: Does this guy really think he can beat Chris Carson, a former Sin Wrestling World Champion? This is nonsense! I want to jump in there and beat this guy up myself! I bet I could, too!
Lex Robinson: I wouldn’t be surprised if all three of the men in the ring would turn to you and release their frustrations onto your sorry ass. They'd be opposed to one another in some way or form but they don’t take too kindly to folk like you showing them up with nothing but a big mouth with little to no substance backing it up.
Steve Hebert: "Folk like you"? Are you some kind of a racist?
Carson grabs 123 Man by the little hair he has left on his head and slaps him around a bit, trying to smack some sense into him. Backed into the corner, Carson immediately latches onto 123 Man and goes to hit a vertical suplex into a twisting chokeslam -- a movie he calls "Patentia".
Steve Hebert: Look at that face! You can’t tell him he isn’t looking to do something to help his fellow ex-referee comrade or whatever they call each other a chance at winning this crucial match. It is a tournament to crown the next Sin World Champion, you know? The stakes are fucking massive!
Lex Robinson: It’s a normal human reaction to witnessing someone being brutalized. There’s nothing else to look at but that. Drop this silliness.
Steve Hebert: Shut up or else I’ll fuck you sideways and make you my bitch, bitch.
Lex Robinson: Very professional.
Dropping him down, Carson drags 123 Man’s immobile body to the middle of the ring where he lifts him up over his head, hitting him with his fearful finisher “The Chris-ofix" and proceeds to complete it!
Steve Hebert: Wow! All you can see from the stands is 123 Man’s head snapping over Carson’s shoulder as he crumples to the mat! Carson then makes the cover...
The referee falls on all fours and as he’s about to count... covers his eyes...
Lex Robinson: What the heck?
Steve Hebert: The referee has something in his eye!
Lex Robinson: How retarded. Flush his dumb eye out.
The referee quickly stands up and motions to a Sin Wrestling staff member on the outside that he appears to have something in his eyes.
Steve Hebert: Oh my God! I am going to die. This is the worst thing I have ever seen. I am going to shoot my fucking face off! This is bullshit. I fucking hate this. I almost want to quit. I might just do it if he doesn’t get on his fucking side and make the fucking 3-count! What the shit is this shit? I hate this!
Lex Robinson chuckles.
Lex Robinson: What are you talking about? If he doesn’t get that eye checked by a physician he could go blind! It’s very serious, indeed.
Steve Hebert drops his face onto the announce table.
Steve Hebert: No, no, no, no, no!
The referee has a physician to check his eye as Carson, annoyed to no end, waits for him to get back to officially make the count. He finally gets whatever was in his eye taken care of, which prompts him to get into position to make it.
Steve Hebert: Finally! Here we go...!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... and...
Steve Hebert: No! Carson stops the count by pulling him up! Weird!
Carson lifts 123 Man’s head up. He shakes his head “no” to the referee with a smirk. He lifts him to his feet as 123 Man sways from one side to another.
Steve Hebert: I think he wants to teach 123 Man some manners. Give him a nice lesson.
Lex Robinson: Hoisting him up, Chris Carson shoves 123 Man back in-between his firm legs and lifts him into "The Chris-ofix" once more...
Steve Hebert: ..."Firm legs"?
Lex Robinson: He hoists him even higher and then drops him. The ending result is not pretty!
Chris Carson moves quickly, covering his opponent with nonchalance...
Lex Robinson: The pin is being made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...3!
Lex Robinson: Three! It's over!
Steve Hebert: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! History will be made tonight, folks! Our future world champion will reclaim what rightfully belongs to him. The World Championship.
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson moves on in the tournament.
Steve Hebert: Very professional. Idiot.
After the match, Carson soaks up the jeers from the crowd, who do not enjoy his easy victory.
Steve Hebert: Why are they booing him, Lex?! He preaches good things! Family values, how to live your properly... all of that stuff!
Lex Robinson: And do you follow his words?
Steve Hebert: Well... no.
Lex Robinson: Well then, he's also addressing you, too, dummy.
Steve Hebert: But I like my whores! I like getting peed on.
Shaking his head, disgusted by the moral degradation of everyone else, Carson goes to exit the ring. He hops down on the floor and stops for a second.
Lex Robinson: Now what?
Steve Hebert: He just can't believe how bloodthirsty these idiot fans are.
Lex Robinson: You're one to talk, Steve, yet again.
Steve Hebert: Look, I like getting peed on and getting my red wings, okay?
Lex Robinson: You are depraved.
Steve Hebert: God, I know I am. That's why I should listen to Chris Carson's words.
Spinning around, Carson turns back to get into the ring, walks into the corner and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer. Listening to more boos pour in, he snarls and shakes his head, disgusted.
Chris Carson: You fans... you fans shouldn't be demanding blood from me anymore. No longer will my blood spill for you. No longer will I spill anyone else's!
Steve Hebert: Huh?
Lex Robinson: What's he saying?
Steve Hebert: I'm... not sure...
Chris Carson: No more blood, period.
The crowd boos louder, only to soon call for "The Creep".
Chris Carson: You want "The Creep", the man that bled for this business. The man that bled others for this business. You know what? You sicken me!
Steve Hebert: He's right. The man known as "The Creep" is dead.
Carson listens to more boos pour in. Shaking his head, he speaks once more, only after covering his ears to their chants.
Chris Carson: I'm done. I am done with all of you. You cannot be saved.
Throwing down the microphone, Chris Carson exits the ring and walks to the back, receiving cat-calls from the fans.
Lex Robinson: What does he mean by that?
Steve Hebert: You heard him. He's done.
Lex Robinson: But--...
Steve Hebert: "Done", he said. No more. "The Creep" is dead. These fans are morons for thinking he'd ever return.
Lex Robinson: Well, he's advanced in the World Title tournament. Surely, he'll want that title back, since he never actually lost it...
Chris Carson finally walks up the stage and passes through the curtain, entering the backstage area.
Steve Hebert: He's just fed up with all of this barbaric idiocy. I don't blame him. Now let's get some barbed-wire out here.
Lex Robinson: Hmmm...
The image fades out, showing 123 Man getting help in the ring, finally rolling to the floor, having lost his first pro wrestling match.
Winner: Chris Carson
The dove coos a few times as it stands atop the lantern. After one final coo, the wind blows and snuffs the jack-o-lantern out. The dove jumps from the lantern and takes off into the night sky. The camera follows the dove until it lands on an outstretched arm. Redmaine is standing on the edge of the roof of the warehouse, looking down at the camera.
Redmaine: Make your choice tonight, Camera Blake. Choose to accept the truth. You no longer need to run from it and follow a false God. I am here for you. I will lead you down the right path. I am your God. Be wise with your decision.
Redmaine turns hastily away from the camera, as his cape whips around, as if he were Batman, soon disappearing from view.
Stevie Swing: You two... what are you doing?
Generic Heel: WE'RE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT KILL YOURSELF!
Stevie Swing: Jesus, Generic Heel, calm down.
CAPS LOCK: GENERIC HEEL, YOU MOUTHBREATHING, SHIT-DICKED, AIDS-INFESTED WHOREBAG? I AM THE GENERIC HEEL!
Stevie Swing: Uh, no, you are CAPS LOCK. You're dressed as each other for Halloween. Just like how I'm dressed as a Human Centipede.
She pulls the babies out of her asshole and then puts on some cat ears.
Stevie Swing: And now I am a catgirl. A freakin' cat-girl. We get it. Good lord, shut the fuck up.
Annoyed, Stevie shoves past them.
CAPS LOCK: WHAT THE FUCK IS HER FUCKING PROBLEM, THAT CUNT?
Generic Heel: I think we took it too far. She's probably mad about not getting her World Title shot.
CAPS LOCK: WELL, SHE DID EARN IT BY WINNING OVER THE TOP ROPE, BY MY CLARIFICATIONS! IT IS ABSOLUTELY PREPOSTEROUS THAT SHE HAS TO BE PLACED IN THIS ABHORRENT TOURNAMENT. PLUS HER AND HORATIO HAVE HAD A FALLING OUT. SOME JAP OWNS HER.
Generic Heel stares at CAPS LOCK.
Generic Heel: STAY IN CHARACTER, YOU ASSHOLE! IT'S HALLOWEEN!
CAPS LOCK: SORRY! I HOPE YOU DIE! I WILL CHAIRSHOT YOU, THEN CURBSTOMP YOU, YOU SHIT-LEGGED BAG OF DIRTY DICKS.
Generic Heel: MUCH BETTER!
The duo walks off, probably to go Trick or Treating, with Generic Heel stealing candy from children.
"In the End" by Linkin Park chimes in over the P.A. White smoke fills the stage as the lights dim to nothingness. The spotlight shines down upon the stage as Cameron Blake appears amidst the swirling fog.
His long locks of hair dangle over his face, making him seem a bit ominous. Decked out in creamy white cargo pants, with split-laced ends at the ankles and a matching trenchcoat, the man known as "Arkangel" heads down the ramp as the spotlight follows.
Reaching his destination, he stops to kneel before the ring. First making the sign of the cross over his chest, Cameron stands and climbs inside. Removing his coat and throwing it aside, "Arkangel" stands silently in the middle of the squared-circle, waiting for his match to commence.
Steve Hebert: Linkin Park... Linkin Park... enough with the awful Linkin Park. What is he, 16?
Lex Robinson: Uh, this next matchup is another in the first round of the World Title tournament. The winner of this match goes on to face Chris Carson, who had quite a few interesting things to say after his match.
Steve Hebert: I still don't even know what the Christ he meant.
Lex Robinson: Certainly some preachy, hypocritical malarky.
Steve Hebert: Now that's a word I hadn't heard since the 1950's.
Lex Robinson: Cameron Blake is in the ring. The last time we saw him, he was getting blown up by current opponent, Redmaine.
Steve Hebert: It beats getting blown by Redmaine. Speaking of which, the last we saw of Redmaine, he blew himself up. So, go figure.
"Mad World" by Gary Jules comes on over the P.A. system as the arena fades to black. White strobes begin to flash in three second intervals as Redmaine steps outs from the backstage area. He pauses at the entrance and holds both arms in they air, as if he is a king praising his subjects. However, instead of entering the ring, he stands in the aisle, holding a microphone, smiling beneath his new mask.
Steve Hebert: Holy crap, look at that mask. Killer mask, yo. Looks like the Down's Syndrome version of Vega from Street Fighter. But hey, I didn't say I didn't like it. It's a little different, but then again, it probably looks like his face was runover by a car.
Lex Robinson: That accidental explosion certainly did him wrong. Now if only he'd get in the ring, we can start this match.
Steve Hebert: Hey, there's tons of time, no worries. When Redmaine's ready, he'll get inside. Besides, he's got some things on his mind.
Redmaine brings the microphone up to his mouth.
Redmaine: It's nice to see you again, Cameron. It's nice to meet again in such nicer circumstances.
The camera switches to Cameron Blake, showing him with a look of contempt in his eyes.
Redmaine: Did you take the time you were injured to figure out if you want to serve a fake God? Or do you want to serve a real God?
Silence is heard as Cameron looks distinctly at Redmaine, rolling his eyes. However, before anything can happen, a man in black attacks Cameron Blake from behind!
Lex Robinson: What the--...? Where did that guy come from?!
Steve Hebert: I don't know, but he's beating the hell out of Cameron Blake, while Redmaine stands in the aisle, watching. Good enough for me!
Having dropped Cameron Blake from behind, the man in black kicks and stomps on Cameron Blake, while pointing at Redmaine, saying that he's doing it for him.
Lex Robinson: I think that guy is implying he's doing it for Redmaine! And the referee is calling for the bell... is... is the match over? Or has it begun? What the hell?
Steve Hebert: That dumb referee is calling for a disqualification against Redmaine! What the shit? Cameron Blake advances, that's not right! It's just not fair!
Lex Robinson: He may be advancing, but it isn't without pay. The man is attacking Cameron Blake for Redmaine! He even applies the Wings of Truth submission hold! He learned that from Redmaine!
Steve Hebert: Kill him! Do it for Redmaine! Show him why Cameron Blake should serve a better master and God.
From the backstage area comes Autumn, Cameron Blake's protege. She slips past Redmaine, slides into the ring and attacks the man in black, forcing him to release the hold, which is easily broken.
Lex Robinson: That's Autumn, Cameron Blake's protege! She's here to stop this madness! Grabbing the man dressed in black, while Redmaine watches, she pulls him away from Cameron, dropkicks him and then hits Redemption, her version of a double-knee facebreaker!
Steve Hebert: But I was having fun watching that ol' douche, Cameron Blake, suffer! She can't rob me of that. Redmaine was enjoying it, too!
Lex Robinson: Thankfully for Cameron, she's here tonight and will also be in action.
Steve Hebert: If only she had dropped into a blackhole.
The man in black rolls out of the ring, holding his face, happy to have taken any damage for Redmaine. The two men walk to the back, getting jeered by the fans, while Autumn helps her mentor to his feet, getting cheers from the fans, who are thankful that he is moving on to the next round.
Winner: Cameron Blake
Anthony Deicide Elverum: We’re here to remember those who've tragically passed on. We’ll never forget their sacrifice to ensure that we’d be left standing to continue our work. Our goal towards righteousness.
They fall to their knees as Anthony Elverum stands high with his arms raised towards the sky.
Anthony Deicide Elverum: Our journey is far from over. Tonight is the beginning of a new path that will help guide us into the horizon. I can see it now: The river of blood will be pouring through and wash our feet, for it will signal our rise to prominence. These seventeen sacrificial lambs will be the cause of said river. They know who they are, so mentioning them by name would be futile. We will no longer suffer for their contribution. To our rise will be all we’ll need to further our cause. It won’t mean your faith in me won’t ever be tested; it’ll constantly be and that is fine. That is to be expected.
The followers weep at the feet of Anthony Elverum as he continues to preach his truth.
Anthony Deicide Elverum: Now, to conclude this moment of purification, we shall set fire to the tree that shades us from the sun. Nothing shall obstruct our view any longer.
A torch is pulled out and lit as it ignites the tree next to them. It’s roots turn to black as smoke emanates from beneath the Earth.
Anthony Deicide Elverum: Watching The Crusade crumble from afar has been my greatest masterpiece up to this point. Now to be the spoiler in this situation, and cause such an uproar on my first night as a member of Sin Wrestling, would be something to marvel at. Something for others to aspire to. I am that benchmark. The stars will fall from the sky and the Sin Wrestling Championship will form around my waist as my arm is raised. For I have risen from the ashes that was The Crusade and have brought Sin back from the dead. Don’t be jealous of my accomplishments. You should be getting on your knees to thank me for giving you a job. A purpose... A way of being! Don’t wish me harm, for I am only speaking the truth. We’ll all bleed together. Sour the mats beneath our feet as we charge at each other. Blow by blow, the sound of those around us will fade into our subconscious as the rapid beating of hearts and quick breaths and groans will be the only things we hear. The time has come to show your worth. Are you up for it? Or will you become a follower and kneel to your leader?
He becomes solemn for a second.
Anthony Deicide Elverum: ...me. It will not only be the right thing to do... it will be the only thing to do. When I reach for you, the Law of Entropy will always show you the way, whether you want to see it or not. Welcome to my domain. Spread the word of Anthony Elverum.
He bows his head and the image fades out.
When the camera returns, Trinity is already in the ring, awaiting the arrival of her opponent, Stevie Swing.
Some lame-ass fighting game music hits, followed by a bombastic P.A.:
THE PATH TO GLORY IS PAVED IN AGONY
The lights in the arena cut out, plunging the audience into total darkness. Stevie Swing's familiar fiber-optic glass vagina descends from the rafters, flashing red and white so fast that any epileptic in the vicinity is likely to burst into flames. "Juicy," an awful J-Pop song by Koda Kumi, begins to play as the lips of the vagina part, revealing Stevie Swing in her Catgirl glory, her ears sticking out of her hair, her tail sticking out of her ass.
She is followed closely by Mr. Kagamusha, who has a digital camera in one hand and a Japanese flag in the other. He takes pictures of Stevie as she walks down to the ring, tail swaying in rhythmic, hypnotic fashion. At his command, Stevie reluctantly uses the ring post as a scratching post before climbing into the ring.
Before the match begins, Stevie's fight team swarm the ringside area, pampering her with a pre-match ear scratch and tummy rub. She looks happy for the attention as they take away her ring jacket, revealing her schoolgirl wrestling gear, and less pleased about the saucer of milk they have left behind. As Mr. Kagamusha snaps his pictures, Stevie reluctantly laps milk from the bowl, waiting for her opponent, her tail waving back and forth.
Lex Robinson: Here's Stevie Swing, who is coming off a big Over the Top Rope victory. While it isn't mandatory for her to win tonight because she still has that World Title shot clause she got from winning it.
Steve Hebert: And she's seductively eating cum in that bowl, too.
Lex Robinson: No, that's milk.
Steve Hebert: Close enough. They both have protein and taste great.
Lex Robinson: Uh... anyhow...
The bell rings and the match commences.
Lex Robinson: These two are feeling each other out right now. It seems they are fairly evenly matched so far...
Stevie heads towards Trinity, but she moves out of the way and hooks her arms behind Stevie. She lifts her up from behind and slams her down face first on the mat before rolling over her and hooking her head for a front facelock.
Lex Robinson: Trinity is off to a great start, as she Trinity holds on, squeezing Stevie's head tight before pulling her up, keeping the hold applied. She then twists Stevie's head and drops her down to the mat with a neckbreaker! Wow, she's not wasting a single second.
Steve Hebert: That's what you need to do in situations like this. You need to strike hard, win your match and then move on. Hell, look, Trinity quickly bounces off the ropes, leaps into the air and drops a knee right across Stevie's body!
Lex Robinson: Trinity has taken control. Her technical abilities got the better of Stevie.
Trinity stands up before she leans down and grabs Stevie. She then grabs Stevie's hand, bends her fingers back hard before driving her elbow down into Stevie's shoulder.
Lex Robinson: Trinity works over the arm and shoulder region. Lifting Stevie slightly up, she pulls her near... and nails a pumphandle slam on her, with her hand tucked behind her back! Stevie screams out, clutching her hand in pain, as Trinity quickly pushes her down for a pin attempt.
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Stevie kicks out! It's not over yet. Hell, it's barely started.
Lex Robinson: Here they go. They're up again. The two girls slowly start to circle each other and Trinity goes in, giving Stevie a quick kick to the thigh as Stevie tries to lock up with her. Trinity again goes for another shoot kick; but this time Stevie grabs her leg, pulls her forward quickly and hits her with a quick lariat! Trinity's neck snaps back and she falls to the mat.
Steve Hebert: She falls like a godforsaken rock, that's what.
Lex Robinson:Stevie Swing is all over this match.
Steve Hebert: There's more to come, too! Stevie quickly bounces off the ropes while Trinity is down and leaps up, dropping a knee across Trinity's throat. Trinity starts to stand, but Stevie is on her once again, locking in a front facelock, pulling back on Trinity's neck!
The ref asks Trinity if she is okay, but she won't give up.
Steve Hebert: Trinity refuses to quit. Go figure. She slowly fights her way back to her feet, punching Stevie with some quick shots to the shitbox, before grabbing her waist--...
Lex Robinson: ...and flips Stevie over her head with a Northern Lights suplex... bridging it into a pin...!
The count is made by the referee...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...
Steve Hebert: No! Stevie bridges out of it! In fact, both girls get up quickly.
Lex Robinson: Trinity, who is already rubbing her neck as Stevie steps towards her, locks up with her, using a collar and elbow tie-up. They struggle for a second, but the more powerful Stevie backs Trinity up into the corner. She then gets her foot up, presses it against Trinity's throat and chokes her with her boot. The ref then counts up to four before Stevie breaks the illegal hold. We have seen how ruthless Stevie can be when it comes to defending her belt and she is showing it again tonight.
Steve Hebert: Well, she just needs a belt to defend, first. Trust me, I think it's going to come here tonight. I have a gut feeling.
Lex Robinson: You always have a gut feeling; and it's usually just hunger.
Steve Hebert: Well, Trinity's gotten a bit of offense but so far it has been mostly all Stevie's match.
Stevie steps away for a second, but then rams Trinity back into the corner with a big shoulder. She then lifts her up to the top turnbuckle and climbs up after her. Trinity tries to get in some blows, but Stevie clubs her quickly with a few elbows before hooking Trinity's head and lifting her off the turnbuckle.
Lex Robinson: As Stevie is battling it out with Trinity, that crazy, weird Japanese guy, Mr. Kagamusha, is flashing his camera, taking pictures of fans.
Steve Hebert: I bet there's loads of sick Japanese porn on that. Stuff that would put tubgirl to shame. Like girls letting dogs shit on them; girls squirting eels; snakes eating assholes. That kind of stuff. The hot stuff.
Lex Robinson: Ugh.
Trinity and Stevie both go crashing down as Stevie nails the superplex!
Lex Robinson: Trinity takes an awful landing right there...
Quickly, Stevie climbs over Trinity, hooking her leg for her first pinfall attempt...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: And Trinity kicks out somehow! That girl has heart.
Steve Hebert: Holy shit.
Up to her feet, Stevie pulls Trinity up with her and elbows her right in the neck setting her up for another suplex. First, she lifts her up, but Trinity wiggles free.
Steve Hebert: Just like a slippery goth, Trinity slips away from Stevie Swing. As a matter of fact, she drops down behind Stevie, jumps up, grabs Stevie's head and drops back, driving both her knees into Stevie with a lung blower! Ouchies!
Trinity grabs at her obviously sore neck for a second before heading over to the corner and climbing up to the top.
Steve Hebert: And now she's going up top!
Lex Robinson: Looks like Trinity is about to go high risk.
Steve Hebert: You think?!
Right before she can make her move, though, Stevie leaps up dives into the ropes and knocks Trinity off her feet, crotching her on the top rope, before knocking her to the outside, with another rough landing!
Steve Hebert: You go high risk and sometimes it doesn't pay off... Trinity just learned that the hard way.
Lex Robinson: Seriously. That didn't exactly work out how she expected it.
Inside, Stevie stands up and climbs out of the ring, after Trinity. She pulls Trinity back up, picks her up as if going for a bearhug, but instead she just runs forward, slamming the back of Trinity's head, neck and back into the steel post!
Lex Robinson: Stevie whirls around... latches on to Trinity's foot with her cat's tail... and sweeps her off her feet! What the hell?!
Stevie looks confused about what just happened. Nevertheless, she goes back on the attack, sending Trinity flying overheard with a belly-to-belly release suplex!
Steve Hebert: Stevie doesn't know what the fuck, either. At the same time, the referee has started counting them out. That's certainly not good. One of them needs to get back into the ring.
...1...2...3...4...5...
Lex Robinson: The referee's over halfway to the count of 10. The botched high risk move continues to haunt Trinity. She can't seem to mount an offense.
Steve Hebert: Let her catch a breather and she might be able to.
Slowly, Stevie pulls Trinity up to her feet, but Trinity grabs Stevie's waist, runs forward and slamms Stevie back-first into the announcer table!
Steve Hebert: Uh, wow! Stevie just crashed into our table, nearly toppling everything over!
...6...
Lex Robinson: Trinity immediately climbs back onto the aprin, though, and goes to get back inside. Wait... Stevie views this, charges forward, leaps onto the apron, as well, locks her hands around Trinity's waist and goes for a German suplex off the apron!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, if she hits this, it means Trinity is going to go flying towards us. Should we get the hell out of the way?!
Lex Robinson: I don't know. It's dangerous.
Steve Hebert: Well, obviously, shitstain!
Holding onto the top rope with her dear life, Trinity hangs on, while Stevie tries pulling her back.
Steve Hebert: And yet the referee is still counting...!
...7...8...
Lex Robinson: This is a dangerous situation right here.
Steve Hebert: They need to get back in the ring fast, too.
Lex Robinson: Elbows by Trinity! She snap mares Stevie back into the ring and goes to follow inside...!
Steve Hebert: She's actually going to the top rope!
As fast as she can, Trinity scurries to the top turnbuckle. However, before she can fly, Stevie turns around and gives chase. Within seconds, she is up there, alongside Trinity.
Lex Robinson: Stevie is up there, as well! She nails a high-knee to Trinity's chin, dazing her! Actually, wait... Stevie has her on her shoulders! She jumps off...!
Steve Hebert: "Go to Fuck!", Lex! That's right, "Go to Fuck!"
Lex Robinson: That's her big move! She drops down and covers Trinity, hooking a leg...!
...1...2...3!
Lex Robinson: She does it! She has knocked out Trinity! Stevie Swing is moving on!
The crowd jeers Stevie, who bumbles to her feet, having her hand raised by the referee. However, her Japanese posse soon filters in, including Mr. Kagamusha, and snatches her hand from the ref. He holds her hand high in the air, while pointing at her, as she obeys him, nodding her head.
Lex Robinson: Who is that guy? Where did he come from?
Steve Hebert: The land of scat porn, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Germany?
Steve Hebert: No!
Lex Robinson: ...Brazil?
Steve Hebert: ...No! Japan!
Lex Robinson: Oh. Well, Stevie's moving on in the tournament to face the winner of Jake Norton and newcomer, Anthony Elverum Deicide.
Steve Hebert: Anthony Elvererummer De-- ah, fuck it. Too long.
Stevie Swing and her Japanese gang walk to the back, having her in the middle of the huddle. Trinity, meanwhile, remains dazed, but gets to her feet, looking quite angsty about the loss.
Winner: Stevie Swing
Ace Rodgers: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, we are backstage, just moments before -- what some consider as -- the biggest opportunity of this man’s life.
Jake Norton comes into view looking terribly anxious.
Ace Rodgers: Jake Norton, we are moments away before your first match against Deicide, who you need to defeat in order to advance into the Finals of Bracket B. Your thoughts, please?
Norton’s eyes are fixated on the concrete floor, seemingly lost in thought.
Ace Rodgers: Jake, we’re live.
Norton’s head shoots into Ace’s face.
Jake Norton: What are your thoughts, Ace? How are you feeling? No wait; don’t bother answering that because this isn’t about you; nobody gives an ounce of cow poop about you. No, no! You see, Ace, this moment is about Sin’s future, Sin’s sponsors, and Sin’s die-hards that can be heard screaming all around the world right now.
Norton pauses; waiting to be drenched in cheers, but there’s no response.
Jake Norton: are you sure we’re live?
Ace Rodgers glances at his wristwatch.
Ace Rodgers: Almost positive.. A look of disappointment sinks into Norton’s face, but quickly fades.
Jake Norton: You know, Ace, I’m nervous as hell. You see, Ace, the last time I had the chance to become World Heavyweight Champion of a company, the owner fired me before I could even arrive at the arena. Despite egging on thousands upon thousands of fans into believing their Main Event would be a match between World Heavyweight Champion, French Montana and Jake Norton, he fired my butt anyways and just canceled the entire show! It’s pretty darn obvious that he would just rather go bankrupt than allow a guy like me to become World Heavyweight Champion of his company.
Ace nearly bursts into laughter but somehow prevents himself from laughing.
Jake Norton: Do you know what that feels like, Ace? Do you understand where I’m coming from?
Ace Rodgers: You’re a joke?
Norton glares into Ace’s eyes with a deep look of hatred, as if Ace had committed a crime.
Jake Norton: I feel like an outcast, Ace. It’s almost as if these people don’t care about what I’ve had to say about Sin’s lack of maturity and usage of gore, nudity and profanity over the years. It’s almost as if everything I’ve worked for up until this moment has been disregarded.
Norton finally gives acknowledgment to the camera by happily smiling into its lenses.
Jake Norton: And that’s why I’m nervous. You see, Ace, I’ve done a lot of bad things in the past, and I’ve said a lot of bad things too. I understand why Wade Mason didn’t see me fit to be his world champion, and for that, I applaud him.
Norton points his index finger towards the camera.
Jake Norton: He cared for all of you viewers at home.
After removing his finger from sight, he focuses back on Ace Rodgers.
Jake Norton: He didn’t want some crude, rude and socially unacceptable wrestler to be the face of his company, like the rest of these gosh-awful Sin wrestlers have been for Sin. He wanted someone with class; someone who could be a role model; someone who you, the viewers, could be proud to call your World Champion.
The fans begin to react now with boos.
Jake Norton: Ace, my good sir, I’m nervous tonight because I have the opportunity to become the champion that these people deserve. And I plan to become World Heavyweight Champion, no matter who I have to face! Nobody - and I gosh darn mean this - nobody is going to stop me now.
Norton smirks.
Jake Norton: So everybody watching in the back, in the bleachers, at home, on the net, and around the freaking globe, I want you to pull out whatever calendar you have and write or type that on October 31st of 2010, a new era has begun. Because after all the smoke has cleared, the dust has been settled, after all the cards have been dealt, and after you use every cheesy cliché in the book, Jake Norton will have fulfilled his destiny and will leave Ottawa, Ontario not only as the World Heavyweight Champion of Sin wrestling, but as the World Heavyweight Champion of the people!
The crowd roars out of disapproval while Norton raises his arms in celebration of his self-proclaimed pre-victory.
Jake Norton: Ace, welcome to the era of PG.
Almost high-fiving himself, Jake Norton walks off.
Ace Rodgers: PG? What the fuck does he mean?
Ace quickly looks at the camera, realizing it's still rolling.
Ace Rodgers: Aw, shit.
He storms off and the image fades out.
"Hero" by Skillet plays over the PA system, with some fans jeering. Jake Norton appears from behind the curtain and he receives a louder jeer. Norton begins to strut his way to the ring; feeding the negative reaction with his happiness. From here, he slides inside the ring, while a 16 year old girl is seen shamelessly crying out of joy in the front row. Inside the ring, Norton pauses and directs his attention towards the audience on the ramp's left side, joyfully stretching out his arms in a shrugging fashion with a smile, while receiving a mixture of cheers and boos.
Steve Hebert: Jake fucking Norton! Brother of Edward, cousin of Jim and creator of the antivirus!
Lex Robinson: Uhm, anyhow. In our next first round match, we have Jake Norton coming out. It's been a while since we've seen him. He seems more clean-cut than before.
Steve Hebert: I hear he's a good guy, now. Just a swell old chap.
Lex Robinson: Oh, I'm sure he is.
"Thank God for the Evening News" by Fulton Lights comes over the sound system as Deicide Anthony Elverum emerges from the back, hands folded in prayer. As he walks down the ramp, he is flanked by several members of his “group", but he pushes his way through, walks up the ring steps and enters the ring.
Deicide Anthony Elverum snatches the microphone from the announcer before the match begins. He obviously has something on his mind.
Lex Robinson: Deicide has arrived! And he's---...
Steve Hebert: Shhh. Important people are talking.
Deicide Anthony Elverum: There is no PG when you’re in the ring with me. So, Norton, you better quit being so innocent and be prepared to get dirty.
Jake Norton struts to a lovely looking lady holding an extra microphone and politely asks for it.
Steve Hebert: See? He's a nice fellow!
Jake Norton: I don’t know about you but I don’t care if your chin even moves! You sick, fudge wearing, little popsicle, malevolent, booger man!
Deicide Anthony Elverum: I don’t care for the taste but the smell coming from your direction makes me want to vacate this match.
Steve Hebert: What the hell is going on? I thought we were having a wrestling match?!
Lex Robinson: This is the beginning of the supposed PG era started by Jake Norton himself. What else did you expect?
Jake Norton: You better tie that beard real tight or else I might have to pull it off and reveal you for the clause you are... You wannabe santa!
Steve Hebert: What the hell is this?! That made no sense!
The referee looks bewildered, as he isn’t sure what to do.
Deicide Anthony Elverum: I am done playing these games. You’ve overstayed your welcome, Norton, and now it’s time for you to finally pay.
Jake Norton: Come on, puke face. You can do better than that. Or am I going to have to call Johnny Roman and see if he wouldn’t finishing you off himself.
Deicide Anthony Elverum’s eyes widen after hearing Norton’s response. He isn’t going to let him get the last word or laugh.
Steve Hebert: Uh... owned?
Deicide Anthony Elverum: I’m used to cutting off the heads of chickens so I guess I’ll have to include yours in the mix. I’ll pop your head right off and let the blood spill.
Steve Hebert: Jesus, that was a low blow. How much more of this is there?
Lex Robinson: I assume when one of them gives up?
Steve Hebert: This is fucking painful. PG my ass.
Jake Norton: If you keep popping I’ll keep pushing. You’re in my domain where the neighbours never sleep and it always rains.
Deicide’s face becomes increasingly agitated as he slams his fist down on the turnbuckle behind him. He does not like being liked to as a child. Some unfortunate memories resurfacing, perhaps?
Steve Hebert: Someone throw a punch, kick, microphone! Anything! Just don’t talk anymore! Please! Stop talking! God fucking dammnit. I am going to lose my shit. If someone doesn't start fighting, I'm going to kick a child in the face and steal their treats.
Lex Robinson: Um... I think you already have.
Steve Hebert: Don’t make me punch you. I’ll do it. Just tempt me. Come on. Do it.
Lex shuts up, as Deicide steps towards Norton in the ring. The referee finally calls for the bell to officially begin the match.
Deicide Anthony Elverum: I don’t care what you’re doing with all this PG garbage that makes no sense. We all know what you’ve done in the past. You make Chris Extreme look like Mother Teresa. I do not believe a word you say and neither should anyone here. You’re a liar, and filled with so much hate that helping you would be useless, which is what you are. We’ll finally settle this just like it was before. I pinned you cleanly and spit on you for your effort. Expect much of the same after I drop this mic...
He smashes it against Norton’s skull, causing him to fall back hard. He screams in pain as he moves and shakes on the mat, making a very big fuss out of being hit with an illegal object.
Steve Hebert: Yes! Hit him! Kill it. Kill it. Kill it.
Deicide chuckles as he taunts the disapproving crowd, leaving Norton to immediately jump up and wrap Deicide up in a small package!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Whoa... wait...
Steve Hebert: Two-count! It's only a two!
Lex Robinson: Sneaky move by Jake Norton almost works!
Deicide climbs out of Norton’s reach with rage. He stomps on the mat, in a fit, as Norton climbs the turnbuckle and gets the fans to laugh along with him. This only makes Deicide angrier as he charges at Jake, only to be mule-kicked in the head, sending him hurling onto his back. He then leaps into the air with a high-angled moonsault that lands squarely on Deicide’s upper body.
Lex Robinson: Although he may say he’s “PG” ... where his lower regions are located may not jive well with that notion.
Steve Hebert: I’ll be sure to tell him after that you called him a faggot.
Lex Robinson: I did no such--...
Steve Hebert: The ref makes the count!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
Steve Hebert: Kick out!
Lex Robinson: He barely got out of under that one, Steve!
Steve Hebert: Don’t ever say my name again, bitch! And, yeah, that was real close!
Deicide’s able to once again push himself away from Norton’s grasp as he pounds the mat with frustration, while Norton laughs hysterically at his opponents uneasiness. Underestimating Deicide’s length, he lunges his foot into Norton’s laughing face, which causes his head to snap back onto the mat. Deicide then proceeds to bounce his head up and down off the mat.
Lex Robinson: Deicide goes for a pin!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Again, it's only a two!
Steve Hebert: A two-count is too close.
Lex Robinson: Deicide lifts Norton to his knees only to be thrown himself through the ropes and out of the ring. He stands up, only to quickly land on his back as Norton leaps through the ropes with a suicide dive.
Steve Hebert: OHHH!!! BANGARANG!!
Norton repeats the favour by repeatedly bashing Deicide’s head against the bottom of the entrance ramp.
Steve Hebert: With a handful of Deicide's hair, Jake Norton smashes the head of that creepy, looking homeless man off the floor!
Lex Robinson: The referee is counting, too...!
...1...2...3...4...5...
Lex Robinson: It seems as if Norton is getting a little carried away! Doesn’t he realize that the ref has been counting all this time?
...6...7...8...
Steve Hebert: He's relentless, smashing Deicide's head over and over again, like a lunatic!
Lex Robinson: So much for PG, eh?
Steve Hebert: Pffft... there's nothing wrong with that. You gotta be tough when the time comes!
...9...
Lex Robinson: They're so close to being counted out, though...
Steve Hebert: The referee's at 9. If one of them can just get in the ring...
At the count of 9, Jake Norton stands, realizing his predicament. ACting swiftly, he rolls into the ring, avoiding the countout.
...10!
Lex Robinson: There it is! The 10-count! It's over! Deicide has been counted out, all thanks to Jake Norton!
Steve Hebert: Are you kidding me?
Lex Robinson: Unbelievable! Jake Norton does it! He's going on to fight Stevie Swing in the next round. What a battle that should be.
Steve Hebert: But... that Deicide guy, I think his brain is hemmorrhaging. Blood pours out of his mouth... but he's standing! He's right back up and is trying to get back into the ring. The referee isn't allowing it. Well, shit.
Lex Robinson: It's all Jake Norton's fault.
Steve Hebert: Pffft. And, hey, wait...!
Deicide clocks the referee with a punch to the head, knocking him to the ground, getting jeers from the fans. Putting a blind eye to it, Jake Norton turns his head and only goes out to stop it when Deicide has already begun walking away.
Lex Robinson: [sarcastic Yeah, what a great, upstanding guy is that Jake Norton.
As Norton helps the referee up, Deicide walks to the back. Meanwhile, Jake dusts off the referee, even fixing his shirt.
Steve Hebert: He is! See?!
Lex Robinson: Yeah, whatever. We're on to the next set of brackets.
Jake Norton helps the referee in walking to the back, getting a mixed reaction from the fans. Eventually, they pass the curtain, allowing for the next match to begin.
Winner: Jake Norton
T-R-A-V-I-S M-I-L-L-E-R
Like a demon rising from the depths of hell, Travis Miller rises from below the stage to the tune of Arch's Enemy's "We Will Rise". Clad in nearly all black, a mesh shirt, slacks, and new balance sneakers, Travis appears from nowhere, angry, upset, and determined. A flash of fireworks explode in the distance, and smoke fills up the ramp where Travis stands. As the lyrics kick in, he makes his approach to the ring.
TEAR DOWN THE WALLS
WAKE UP THE WORLD!
Travis casually walks down the ramp and towards the ringside area, taking his time to take notice of all the fans in attendance. He slaps a few fans' hands, quickly signs a few autographs and even poses for a few pictures. Regardless of his actions, he looks determined for what is to come.
IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS!
SO FED UP WITH SECOND BEST
OUR TIME IS HERE AND NOW!
I AM THE ENEMY
I AM THE ANTIDOTE
WATCH ME CLOSELY
I WILL STAND UP NOW!
Finishing up his duty to the fans, he makes his way into the ring, where he casually walks up the steps, climbs through the ropes and stretches before the start of his match.
Lex Robinson: And here comes another beloved face, found in veteran Travis Miller, who’s undoubtedly prepared and determined to finally capture his first long-awaited World Heavyweight Championship, and take his place alongside the numerous of other great champions in Sin’s Hall of Fame.
Steve Hebert: Only an idiot would bet on Miller leaving tonight as World Champion. Time after time, Miller has proven that, if there has ever been a similarity between him and a human, it was purely coincidental.
"Sin" by Stone Temple Pilots begins playing. Xander Gates slowly walks out, wearing a robe. He gives the evil eye to some of the crowd and saunters to the ringside area, where he enters inside and waits for things to commence.
Steve Hebert: But here is a real Champion. This man actually brings something worthwhile to the table, unlike that mindless, bald cuntbag.
Lex Robinson: Indeed Xander Gates has had a solid career here in Sin Wrestling. He’s a former Television Champion and a former Purity Champion, but Travis Miller is a former Ultraviolence Champion himself. I’d say both men are just about equally bringing something to the table in this bout.
Steve Hebert: It's actually been a while since Xander was here in Sin Wrestling. It's about time he returned.
Lex Robinson: He's back and looking to reclaim some gold. What better time than tonight?
Xander Gates and Travis Miller stand face to face with each other, whilst the referee explains the rules to both participants. Seemingly agreeing with the ref, both men nod and agree to shake hands, which gets an applause from the fans.
Lex Robinson: A good example of great sportsmanship from both competitors.
Steve Hebert: How fucking touching. Barf.
Lex Robinson: Both men lock up, and Xander is able to take Travis into the corner. But Travis somehow has reversed Xander’s chokehold, pushing him away and quickly nailing him with a short-arm clothesline before going for the cover.
The referee drops down, making the count...
...
Steve Hebert: And a quick kick out by Xander. What the hell was Travis thinking?
Lex Robinson: Travis drags Xander to his feet, applies the lockup, and Xander pushes Miller into the corner again.
Steve Hebert: Not just that, but he wildly drives his right knee into Miller’s gut repeatedly, before allowing Miller the chance to breathe.
Lex Robinson: Couldn’t even call it an opportunity as Xander mockingly strikes Miller with a short-arm of his own, forcing Miller’s head against the corner turnbuckle, nearly sending him over the top turnbuckle.
Steve Hebert: This is what I was fucking talking about earlier, Lex. Miller doesn’t have what it takes to be World Champ, unlike Xander here, who time and time again has proven that he is one ferocious bastard.
Lex Robinson:: And Miller nails Xander from the top turnbuckle with a spear!
Steve Hebert: Holy Alan Rickman, where the fuck did that come from?! For the love of Hans Gruber.
During Hebert’s incredibly boring commentary, Miller has managed to counter Xander’s attempt of a ‘superplex’ by jabbing him straight in the nut sack before allowing him to fall flat against the mat.
Steve Hebert: Fucking Xander making me look like an idiot.
Lex Robinson: Well, that's not hard. Miller goes for the suplex, and it’s a success! And wait, apparently he isn’t finished as he -- woah -- he flips himself forward, while locking both hands around Xander’s chin for an inverted bridging STF lock! Notice how Miller not only stretches the throat of Xander Gates, but he’s nearly bending Xander Gates's torso--...
Steve Hebert: How fucking dirty of that bald cunt to strike Xander in the face with knees of his own!
Lex Robinson: Right, what my colleague just pointed out--...
Steve Hebert: And he flips himself back over, only to re-apply the bridge once more! Dammit, Xander, hang in there!
Lex Robinson: Could this be it?! Will Travis Miller be one step closer in realizing his dream?!
Xander Gates tries to reverse by flipping Miller onto his left shoulder, but Miller sharply responds with switching up the hold by taking a hold of Xander’s arm, placing it in-between his thighs, and wraps his fingers back around the throat!
Steve Hebert: Good God almighty, listen to these shit-stains cheering for Travis Miller; chanting his name and everything.
Lex Robinson: This is what he wanted, Steve, and it shows. Miller is here to finish what he started; what he’s been doing for all these years by spilling blood, sacrificing his body, his mind and his soul just to become--...
And just then, Xander Gates taps out.
Steve Hebert: This has to be the worst fucking moment of my entire broadcast career.
Lex Robinson: He did it! As baby Jesus as my witness, he did it! The Boyhood Dream has come true.. For Travis Miller!
Steve Hebert: Uh, shit, he's only moving on to the next round. No need to throw a party.
The jammed packed arena stands to their feet in thunderous applause for both men, although the match was approximately eight minutes long. Travis Miller embraces the reaction and welcomes the referee’s gesture by having his arm raised. Xander rolls into the corner turnbuckle and is in shock that Miller has won.
Lex Robinson: Ladies and gentlemen, we will see more of Travis Miller tonight as he advances in the tournament and a chance to become the new SW World Champion!
Steve Hebert: Fucking Travis Miller, man.
Just as Xander is about to leave, Travis stops him and asks him to come back inside. Xander cooperates and does so, whilst looking at Travis with a mug full of disappointment. Travis offers his hand, which gathers another strong, positive reaction from the fans. In reply, Xander looks at Miller’s hand and then at the fans before deciding to just turn away and leave Miller hanging.
Lex Robinson: Oh come on, Xander, it was a good match! Don't be such a grumpy Gus.
Steve Hebert: Xander has decided to leave the ring with his pride, and for that, I applaud him. It's probably for the best.
Lex Robinson: Leaving Travis Miller hanging, Xander walks to the back, getting some boos for his actions.
Steve Hebert: Meh. Big deal. Handshakes are for women, anyhow.
The camera fades out, just as Xander Gates passes through the curtain area.
Winner: Travis Miller
Ace Rodgers: I am here, standing next to Punisher, who is making his big return to the wrestling ring tonight. You're involved in a scramble match, in which the winner moves on to the next round and you'll have a chance to become new World Champion. Your thoughts, Punisher?
"Punisher" looks at Ace Rodgers.
"Punisher": One thing...
The man known as The Punisher removes his t-shirt.
"Punisher": "Punisher" is dead. The only person that remains is Lee Kemp. It's time to be myself.
Ace Rodgers: I see.
Lee Kemp: Tonight, I plan to walk to that ring and show exactly who I am and what I'm made of. Win or lose, tonight I'm going to put up one hell of a fight. I'll fight hard to become the new World Champion and I'm not going to let any of these fans down with my effort. I don't care if I have 1, 2 or 3 other opponents. I'm going to fight my hardest and there will be no more hiding behind false names.
Ace Rodgers: Lee Kemp, eh? Well then, good luck in your match. You have to face 3 other opponents. It's going to be hell.
Lee Kemp: I'll fight my way through hell, even if it kills me, Ace.
Lee Kemp takes a few steps back, turns around and walks off, headed towards the entrance area. His match is soon to come.
When the cameras return, Sin Wrestling Hall of Famer, Regan Chambers is in the ring, looking rugged and worn down. Nevertheless, he gets a cheer from the audience, while preparing to take on his mysterious opponent, Ghost.
Lex Robinson: Here we have longtime SW member, Regan Chambers, in the ring. He's taking on, uh, Ghost.
Steve Hebert: AHHHHH! I'm afraid of ghosts.
Lex Robinson: You are?!
Steve Hebert: Yes, when I was just a young boy, a ghost would come out of my closet while I was sleeping, breathing down my neck and crawl into bed with me.
Lex Robinson: Oh, jeez. That's terrible. Uh, even though ghosts don't exist.
Steve Hebert: I thought that, too. The ghost looked like my Uncle Larry. Oddly enough, I'd always wake up with a sore hiney the next morning. It was terrible.
Lex Robinson: Uh...
Just then, the lights go out.
Steve Hebert: Ahhhh! The Ghost is here!
Lex Robinson: Booo.
Steve Hebert: Stop it. My asshole is hurting from the memories.
While the lights are out, a rumbling sound happens from inside of the ring, followed by a thumping sound. The sound of a bell is heard.
Ding... ding... ding...
Steve Hebert: Huh? Was that you, Lex?
Lex Robinson: No, it sounded like a bell.
Steve Hebert: Oh god, the ghost is haunting us.
Lex Robinson: But ghosts don't exist.
Steve Hebert: Tell that to Uncle Larry, asshole.
Lex Robinson: I'm pretty sure they don't.
Steve Hebert: What about the time Hell's Keeper had sex with a ghost, huh? Huh?!
Lex Robinson: Uh...
The lights come back on. Regan Chambers is laid out in the ring, covered in blood. The referees confusion mirrors that of the fans.
Lex Robinson: I... uh... what...?
Steve Hebert: Oh my god, the ghost killed him.
Lex Robinson: He's alive... just knocked out. Was there really a ghost? What the fuck?
Steve Hebert: Beetlejuice... Beetlejuice... Beetlejuice!
Lex Robinson: What?
Steve Hebert: I thought saying his name 3 times fast would make him appear... kind of like Booger... or Flame!
Confused, the referee shrugs his shoulders and calls for the bell. There will be no match.
Lex Robinson: I guess this one is being thrown out.
Steve Hebert: Only Ghostbusters can save us now. Peter Venkman, where are you when we need you?
Putting an end to the confusion, the ring announcers states that neither person is moving on. People look dissatisfied, but they'll live.
Steve Hebert: Meh, next match!
Lex Robinson: Coming soon!
From the side, Beau's brother, Bear, begins to mentally prepare Beau for his upcoming match.
Bear Brant: Remember, Beau... worst comes to worst, use your size and power to get through any match ending situations. These guys wrestle... and you’re a highly achieved collegiate wrestler. There is no difference between you--...
Beau Brant: Worst comes to worse, Bear, I’m here to bang. I want to show these fans that this is my house, my coliseum; and I’m the gladiator, who’s to be feared. When I make it to that ring, it’s going to be war.
Bear Brant: Stay calm. Don’t run off your emotions. This is a game of skill, not a game of emotion. Everything you do should be calculated. We won’t be out there with you to help you through your gameplan, due to the difference in rules from Mixed Martial Arts.
Beau lets out a gust of air as he speaks.
Beau Brant: Stay fierce. Stay positive. Do not give your opponents a chance to rest. This will make me a champion. I have trained harder than they have. My heart is bigger, I want it more. God, the blood shall pour from these poor souls tonight. Win or lose. Sin Wrestling’s mat shall forever be tainted by my imposed will upon Sin’s warriors. This is not a match; this is a battle. Hell, a war for the World Title. Testicular fortitude is on my side, I am unstoppable, I will not lose!
The camera begins to retract backwards and Beau stands from his stool, grabbing the attention of his wrestling coach. They lock arms in their small part of the locker room and begins an intense pre-match warm-up.
Fade out.
Papa Roach's "Last Resort" comes over the P.A. system and the lights go black. Red flares start shooting off at both sides of the entranceway and into the spotlights, as Beau Brant makes his way out onto the stage. He makes his way down the walkway, wearing red knee-length shorts, no shoes and there's a white towel hanging over his bare shoulder. As he approaches the ringside area, he rolls underneath the bottom rope and begins his pre-fight exercises.
Steve Hebert: New guy alert! Who is this hunk of muscle?
Lex Robinson: That'd be Beau Brant, Steve.
Steve Hebert: As in Mixed Martial Artist, Beau Brant?
Lex Robinson: That'd be him.
Steve Hebert: Holy shit.
A silent hush falls over the crowd and "Alice Nine" by Mirror Ball plays over the speakers. The Great Kutsuu comes out, decked in a boxing robe and pushes his way towards the ringside area, where he climbs into the ring and awaits the beginning of his match.
Lex Robinson: Speaking of MMA, here's another practicioner of the sport.
Steve Hebert: Oh. So, when are we getting a Nascar racer out here?
"Breakdown by Tantric plays through the arena causing the crowd to erupt in cheers. As the chorus hits, Autumn appears on the stage and the crowd stands up to their feet, applauding her. She walks to the center of the stage, extends her arms out like a crucifix then bows her head for a minute. She then lowers her arms and slowly lifts her head before making her way to the ring. She walks up the steel steps and enters the ring from the middle to top rope and lands inside, waiting for the match to begin.
Steve Hebert: Finally! A hot girl. Now that's what I'm talkin' about. I want to see Beau Brant fuck her to death.
Lex Robinson: Uh, well, that's Autumn. She's a protege of Cameron Blake.
Steve Hebert: Ewww... that means she's already swallow his seed. Disgusting. She just lost 10 points on the hotness scale. Horrifying.
Lex Robinson: But you haven't even seen her wrestle!
Steve Hebert: Sorry. I judge girls by their looks; and not on their talent.
Lex Robinson: No doubt.
Steve Hebert: Speaking of bands from the 90s, how's that band, Blind Melon doing these days? Ohhhh.
"Idols and Anchors" by Parkway Drive plays from the PA and Lee Kemp wastes no time in getting to the ring, walking out from the backstage area. He slides on his stomach into the ring, under the bottom rope, and patiently waits for the match to begin.
Steve Hebert: Three guys and one chick, how entertaining. It could be a gangbang.
Lex Robinson: Lee Kemp is the man formerly known as "Punisher", from past federations as XWW and TWW. In fact, I think he had a brief run here in Sin Wrestling. In short, he's an old friend of Corey Page.
Steve Hebert: Oh, cool. Maybe Corey Page can get him to wheel him around some time.
Lex Robinson: ...Just ring the bell.
The bell rings and they all go at it. Beau and Kutsuu get dumped to the floor. It’s Autumn and Kemp in the ring now, and they face off and the crowd surprisingly gets behind them.
Lex Robinson: Autumn swings with an elbow, Kemp ducks and shoulder tackles Autumn in the gut; sending her to the ropes. After she swings back, Kemp goes for a variation of the stunner, but Autumn counteracts with a clothesline.
Steve Hebert: Autumn makes him... Fall! Haha, get it? No? You don't? Oh.
Lex Robinson: ...Anywho. Beau dodges an attack from Kutsuu, but Kutsuu surprises him with a running bulldog! Beau goes headfirst against the concrete floor! Good lord that must hurt.
Meanwhile, Autumn steps out onto the outer portion of the apron.
Lex Robinson: Here goes Autumn...
Steve Hebert: She has a spring in her step... hurrr hurrr...
Lex Robinson: Autumn with a standing shooting star press from the apron and onto Beau! How the hell is that even possible?!
Steve Hebert: It's not... because Beau catches her and drops her back-first onto the floor.
Lex Robinson: ...Oh. Just then, Kemp appears from behind the steel steps and clocks Beau Brant with a shining wizard! This is out of control!
Steve Hebert: Probably because the winner of this match goes on to meet Chris Extreme in the quarter-finals. Can you imagine what winning this match could do for their careers, let alone beating a Chris Extreme?
Lex Robinson: It'd be something... except for the fact that the winner of Chris Extreme and Flame has yet to be decided.
Steve Hebert: Pffft. C'mon. Let's be real here, Lex. I mean... c'mon.
Lex Robinson: Eh, as the beat down on Kutsuu continues, this crowd has apparently been divided into dueling chants of some kind here. You can hear every rookies name getting some shape of a pop from the audience. Kutsuu drops Kemp with a big, high kick to the head before posing for the crowd. Sneaking up from behind him, though, Autumn rolls Kutsuu up with a schoolboy...!
Steve Hebert: Whoa...!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Kickout! God, I miss David Nistiero.
Lex Robinson: Well, that was random. Where did that come from?
Steve Hebert: I haven't the foggiest clue.
Lex Robinson: In any event, Beau gets back in and he and Autumn begin to exchange left and right blows, before Beau immediately gets the upperhand by dropping her with a knockout punch to the jaw!
Steve Hebert: Fuckin' eh! Look at that jab. Reminds me of Declan..
Lex Robinson: Meanwhile, Lee Kemp comes back, but Beau throws him high over the top rope and down to the floor. Kutsuu goes to the top, but Beau immediately charges and drops him with a few sharp punches to the ribcage.
Steve Hebert: Maybe Swings right; Sin should still be dead.
Lex Robinson: No f'n way. As Kutsuu collides with the mat, he is instantly met with a series of stomps from Beau until Kemp enters the ring from behind. However, Beau was aware of his presence and instantaneously speared Kemp out of the blue; receiving a huge pop from the fans!
Steve Hebert: It’s just not the same anymore, you know?
Lex Robinson: Autumn goes to the top, but Kutsuu hits her from behind with a low-blow to the vagina--...
Steve Hebert: Cunt. It's called a cunt. You know, like your wife.
He ascends the turnbuckle in an attempt to drop her with her own finishing maneuver; a double knee face breaker, but she remarkably counters with the help of Beau, and they both plant Kutsuu with a power bomb into the middle of the ring!
Steve Hebert: I feel like - how can I describe this- like I’m fucking Leonardo DiCaprio, and Sin won’t move the fuck over so I can get out of the water. I don’t know why I thought I could open myself up to you, fucking pickle juice.
Lex Robinson: Kutsuu and Beau are battling out like champs! Steve, can you believe what we’re watching?!
Steve Hebert: We’re watching the same old shit, Lex.
Lex Robinson: For the love of god, Kutsuu just smashed his palm against Beau’s nose!
As The Great Kutsuu continues to build on his momentum, Beau appears to be stunned, ready to be knocked out. Kutsuu charges for a shining wizard, but suddenly Beau drops to one knee, ducks the kick, swoops Kutsuu’s body onto his shoulder, lifts him in front of the hundreds of thousands of cheering fans before dropping him with "Beau's Beast"!
Lex Robinson: My god, what a move! He goes for the cover!
Beau Brant sits atop The Great Kutsuu, covering him. Lee Kemp goes to slide into the ring, trying to break it, but he is taken out by Autumn, who hurricanranas him!
Lex Robinson: It's all for Beau Brant now...
The count is made...!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... thr--...
...3!
Lex Robinson: --eee...!
Steve Hebert: ...Eee?
Lex Robinson: Eee.
Steve Hebert: Eee--ugh... Beau Brant has done it! He is moving on to the second round of the World Title Tournament!
After the match, an aggressive Beau Brant stands to his feet, having his hand raised in victory. He exits the ring, getting a decent ovation from the fans, while Lee Kemp is finally able to get back inside, looking disappointed at the loss. He looks at Autumn, shakes his head and then exits the ring and walks out, behind Beau Brant, leaving Autumn and The Great Kutsuu alone in the ring.
Winner: Beau Brant
Chris Extreme: I'm sick and tired of this. Those little faggots won't stop knocking on the door!
To his right is Corey Page, who is still strapped into his wheelchair, dressed in a tuxedo, with a little bit of drool coming from his mouth.
Corey Page: I told you! It might be her. It might be Morgana.
In reply, Chris shakes his head.
Chris Extreme: How many more times do I have to tell you? She's gone. She doesn't want you. You were nothing to her.
Corey Page: But she was my friend!
Chris Extreme: You thought wrong, obviously. If she was your friend, she would have visited you in the hospital.
Corey Page: But--...
Chris Extreme: And your Stephen Hawking costume is just ridiculous.
Corey Page: I'm not Stephen Hawking. I'm actually crippled! I told you this how many times now?!
Chris Extreme: Whatever.
Chris removes a tiny Kit Kat bar from his bowl of treats.
Chris Extreme: Here, catch...
The bar sails through the air, only to slam against Corey's face, thanks to his inability to move his arms.
Corey Page: Ow! Stop that!
Knock, knock, knock...!
Chris Extreme: For Christ's sake.
Swinging around, Chris Extreme flings open the door. Standing before him is a childlike Dracula, a princess and a child dressed as a Toronto Maple Leafs player. One by one, Chris drops candy into their bag.
Chris Extreme: Here, here, here.
Before the kids can gleefully respond, he slams the door in their face.
Corey Page: Toronto Maple Leafs... Morgy was a Leafs fan.
Chris Extreme: Ugh...
Corey Page: Now open my bar for me.
Chris Extreme: Fine.
He takes the bar, removes the wrapper and holds it out for Corey Page to take.
Chris Extreme: ...Well...?
The Sin Wrestling owner looks at Chris, unable to take it.
Corey Page: Put it in my mouth.
Within seconds, Chris Extreme pulls down his pants and brings out his cock.
Corey Page: No! The bar! Not that!
Chris Extreme: Oh, whoops. I got confused for a second.
Stuffing his awful cock back in his pants, Chris takes the chocolate bar and stuffs it into Corey's mouth.
Knock... knock... knock...!
Chris Extreme: My Jesus, again?!
Leaving Corey to eat the bar, Chris turns away, opens the door and sees more Trick-or-Treaters. There's a Freddy Krueger, someone dressed as a cat and another kid dressed as Hitler.
Chris Extreme: One for you...
Chris drops a candy into "Freddy Krueger"'s bag.
Chris Extreme: Awwww... look at the pretty cat. A-shooka-shooka-shooka...
Chris scratches the cat's fuzzy chin and head and puts some candy into the kid's bag. Next, he turns to Hitler.
Chris Extreme: And this is for you...
He dumps the remnants into "Hitler"'s bag.
Chris Extreme: This is all for you. You're a good little boy!
Kid Hitler: Gee, thanks, Mister!
Chris Extreme: You run along and be a good little boy, now.
Closing the door, Chris happily turns back to Corey Page.
Chris Extreme: Some kids can be so cute. Now, what--...
He views Corey Page convulsing, choking on his chocolate bar, a little drool of chocolate foaming out of his mouth.
Corey Page: Uck... uunnfhh... uuckkkh--...
Chris Extreme: Oh Jesus.
He rapidly begins beating on Corey's back, soon allowing him to cough it up, leaving behind a trail of chocolate.
Chris Extreme: Phew. That was a close one.
Corey Page: Oh God... Oh Jesus... ugh...
Knock... knock... knock...!
Chris Extreme: What the fuck?! You've got to be kidding me.
Chris pulls a shotgun that he had hid inside of the wheelchair.
Corey Page: Hey, where did you get that?!
Chris Extreme: Alright, you fuckin' kids, you're gonna get it, now.
Angrily swinging the door open, Chris cocks his gun...
Chris Extreme: You--... wait... what are you doing here?
Crux stands before him, looking quite sad.
Corey Page: Is it Morgy? Is it?! Oh my god, it has to be!
Crux steps inside, his head bowed, a little tear in his eye.
Crux: Morgy... I miss Morgy...
Shaking his head, Chris Extreme is disgusted.
Chris Extreme: You both sicken me.
Crux slinks inside and takes a spot next to Corey Page.
Corey Page: I do, too! Why did she have to be so mean to me? To us?
Together, Corey Page and Crux having an emotional meltdown. Meanwhile, Chris leans on his shotgun, sickened by their actions, accidentally firing it and hitting a random person dressed as a zombie.
Chris Extreme: Whoops.
Zombie: It's fine. It only got me in the shoulder.
Chris Extreme: Oh, okay.
With that, the zombie slowly walks off, groaning out loud, while Chris Extreme glances at the helpless Corey Page and Crux.
Suddenly, a voice is heard shouting throughout the arena:
After a loud, thunderous explosion, the epic symphony of "No Leaf Clover" by Metallica blasts over the airways, shaking the arena and deafening the crowd. From out of the smoke appears Chris Extreme, standing in his black boxers and black socks.
To a mixed reaction from an ambivalent crowd, Chris swaggers arrogantly down to the ring. Half the crowd boos him in hatred while the other half cheers him with admiration. As he struts down the walkway, he slaps a few low fives from cheering fans, while simultaneously cursing and taunting the fans that boo him. Making his way up the steel steps, he enters the ring through the middle rope, and quickly flashes the head of his cock to the camera for all the world to see. After his wardrobe malfunction, he slouches in the corner of the ring and waits for his match to begin, taking a deep breath.
Lex Robinson: What a welcome for Sin Wrestling's former World champion! What a great way to start off the first round of this tournament, with not one, but TWO former world champions!
Steve Hebert: Please, don't remind the fans about Flame's World Title reign. Have a heart, will you?
Darkness falls upon the arena as "Duality" by Slipknot hits the PA system. Strobes begin to flash throughout the arena, searching for something. The music stops and smoke covers the ring. When it clears, Flame stands tall with a look in his eye that could rape little children.
Steve Hebert: I'm not sure who is scarier, Flame or Chris Extreme. Probably Flame because his music is shittier. Oh, who am I kidding? Flame's just out here to pad his win-loss column. Add another "loss" to that record, boys!
Lex Robinson: Don't be so quick to assu-- haha, yeah.
Steve Hebert: Jesus, that was ice cold, Steve. Kind of like Flame's record.
Lex Robinson: ...Now we're just being needlessly mean.
With the sound of the bell, both brawlers tear into each other with lefts and rights.
Lex Robinson: Flame, being the bigger man... height-wise anyways... overpowers Chris Extreme's onslaught with a brutal big boot to the face!
Steve Hebert: Trust me, Chris Extreme is heavy in the crotch area.
Lex Robinson: He put up a good fight until her ran into that boot.
Scooping Chris up after a smirk, Flame DRILLS him into the mat with a sit-out powerbomb.
Steve Hebert: Jesus. Flame's not taking this lightly, afterall. Who would have thought.
Lex Robinson: Indeed. Taking Chris's legs in his hands, Flame applies a Sharpshooter. double grapevining his legs! Extreme yells out and struggles to get to the ropes as the ref checks for the submission.
Steve Hebert: No way, not gonna happen.
Lex Robinson: Inch by inch--...
Steve Hebert: Which is also a summary of Flame's genitalia.
Lex Robinson: Chris, the former World Champion, crawls closer to the ropes. He reaches out and with a grunt, lunges the last few inches to grasp the bottom rope. The ref makes the count on Flame
...1...2...3...4!
Lex Robinson: And Flame releases the hold at 4.
Steve Hebert: That dummy. He'll never achieve success like that. He needs to sinch that in and refuse to break it.
Lex Robinson: Well, he's not a total scumbag.
Steve Hebert: Well then, don't complain when Chris Carson talks about the morals of these shitty fans.
Lex Robinson: That's different. He's patronizing and condescending.
Flame stands and turns. Just as he does, Chris kicks his foot right up into his nether region!
Steve Hebert: Oh darn. Ah, well. It's about time someone cut off his baby0making prowess. The world doesn't need anymore little Flames running around, anyhow.
Lex Robinson: Flame buckles over in pain... and Chris jets upward... and stunner!
Steve Hebert: He nearly lobbed off Flame's head! I, for one, am okay with that.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme with "The Castrater" has just gained momentum in this match.
Following a fist drop, Extreme lifts Flame up onto his shoulders and soon brings him down with a Death Valley Driver! Within seconds, though, Chris is back up and is walking into the corner. Quickly climbing the ropes, he gets to the top and moonsaults back, executing the Blitzkriegasm!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme crushes Flame! He hooks a leg, making a cover...!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...
Steve Hebert: Close, but not enough, goddamnit!
Lex Robinson: Flame gets his shoulder up at 2 and a half!
Now pissed, Flame shoves Chris back as he stands. Extreme throws a roundhouse right hand only to have it slapped away by Flame, who has the fans cheering for him. He grabs Chris by the head and yanks him right off the mat. With a heave, he tosses Extreme halfway across the canvas by his head.
Steve Hebert: Gotta love a man with that much power. Well, not really, but still.
Lex Robinson: I see. Chris bounces to a stop, in the center of the ring. Flame charges forward; and as Chris gets to one knee, he is SMASHED with a huge spear! That'll knock the wind out of anyone's sails.
Steve Hebert: But Chris is getting back up and he is furious! He's misanthroping up!
They both try to overpower the other, but soon Chris starts to back Flame into the corner. They struggle for a second before the referee pulls Chris off his opponent. Before Flame can get out of the corner, though, Chris runs at him, driving his knee right into Flame's stomach. He then pushes Flame's chin up and lights up his chest with a brutal chop to the chest and does it a few more times, leaving a handprint across Flame's chest.
Steve Hebert: Yep, that definitely ripped off a nipple!
Lex Robinson: ...Actually, Chris is targetting Flame's nipples! He's twisting them. Oh no.
Steve Hebert: Yes! The dreaded titty twisted! Chris has a handful of both of them!
Lex Robinson: Flame swats both of Chris Extreme's hands away, but Chris responds with an effective headbutt that knocks Flamer back. A second later, Chris kicks Flame in the gut... and then begins biting at Flame's nipple!
Steve Hebert: What the hell?!
Lex Robinson: Clapping his hands together, Flame frees himself from, uh, Chris's mean bite. Flame probably has HIV, now.
Steve Hebert: Nothing wrong with a nice dosage of HIV. I mean, look at Magic Johnson. Hell, Robert Alomar has had AIDS for years and he's looking fine. A little like an Ethiopian, but fine, otherwise.
Having Chris stunned, Flame reaches forward, gutwrenches him and hoists him up into a powerbomb position and nails a gutwrench powerbomb!
Lex Robinson: Powerbomb by Flame! This is going to be it! He's rising, calling for the end.
As Flame leans back, waiting for Chris to rise, Trinity comes out and stands at the top of the entrance. She doesn't attack, she just stands there, watching Flame, playing some sort of mind game with him. When Flame realizes her presence, he looks up at her, standing in spot.
Lex Robinson: Trinity's out here... but why? She lost earlier this evening... to Stevie Swing, to be exact. Her opportunity is over. What more could she want?
Steve Hebert: He's like a statue, just standing there. You're in a match, retard, get to moving!
Thanks to this, Chris Extreme is able to recover, seeing Flame's gaze averted. As a result, Chris comes up behind Flame and rolls him up with a schoolboy... and a hand full of testicles!
Steve Hebert: Wait... Flame is rolled up...! And Chris is hooking the tights... and the testicles!
Lex Robinson: Wait...
The count is made...
Lex Robinson: The referee doesn't see the Testicle Claw...! Chris is holding Flame down!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... and...
...3!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme moves on! Thanks to Trinity interrupting Flame, Chris Extreme is moving on!
Steve Hebert: Fuck that. Blame Flame. He's the one that stood there, like a dummy. Someone should just remove the "F" before his name.
After the pinfall is made, an annoyed Flame slides out of the ring and races to the back, running after Trinity, who has disappeared behind the curtain. Chris Extreme, on the other hand, rubs his cock and toys with it, getting an erection inside of the ring.
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme is moving on to fight that roided-up monster, Beau the Beast... or Beau Brat... or Bear Brats... or something.
Lex Robinson: Beau Brant, former MMA superstar. It's going to be quite a showing. The second round of the World Title tournament is up next...
Hopping out of the ring, Chris drunkenly stumbles through the crowd, allowing them to pat him on the back. He walks to the back, looking confused at the cheers, but he accepts it.
Steve Hebert: You know, I could really use some Chrisgana right now.
Lex Robinson: No! She -- or he -- is gone.
Steve Hebert: Just like Morgana -- gone. She used Corey Page. She fucking manipulated him, lied to him, non-stop. Corey Page doesn't even know if she ever cared; but he knows he did. I know this, Lex. I talked to him myself, while he was trapped in his little gay wheelchair. He's broken up over it, too. He's literally destroyed. He doesn't understand how she could do it to him. He thought she was his friend. He told her things about his life, his family. He thought she was his friend; but it turns out she was just a fake. She was using him for herself. When she didn't want him anymore, she threw him in the shitbin, using him up like a piece of garbage. Do you know how awful Corey Page felt, Lex? Do you? He felt like dogshit. That he had lost one of his best friends. That one of his best friends had used, abused, manipulated and raped him of his privacy, his pride, his dignity, his sense of self-worth, his confidence, his trust... everything... even his rust. Yes, he was rusting on the inside. Now he's a sad, broken, lonely man. A sad, broken, lonely man in a wheelchair, who can't even masturbate himself. This is awful. Fuck Morgana, why did she have to do this to him? Why did she do it? She destroyed Corey; and had zero respect for him. She didn't even tell him that she didn't want him anymore. But Corey tried to get contact...tried to get an answer, but no. There was nothing. So, fuck her. Fuck her and all of her dishonesty and deceit. She can burn in hell.
Lex Robinson: ...
Steve Hebert: ...What?
Lex Robinson: Are you done? We're ready to go to the back.
Steve Hebert: Oh, fine.
Fade out. The next round of the tournament is set to begin... next!
Winner: Chris Extreme
Ace Rdgers: Who is this guy? Why didn't you wrestle? You just had him beatdown Cameron Blake...? I don't get it!
Redmaine says nothing. Instead, the man in black pushes his way in front of Redmaine and stands in front of Ace, blocking his view. The man in black speaks for Redmaine.
Man in Black: You do not have permission to speak to Redmaine.
Ace Rodgers: But--...
With that said, the Man in Black shoves Ace Rodgers out of view and the images fades out, with Redmaine watching the upcoming match between Chris Carson and Cameron Blake.
"In the End" by Linkin Park chimes in over the P.A. White smoke fills the stage as the lights dim to nothingness. The spotlight shines down upon the stage as Cameron Blake appears amidst the swirling fog.
His long locks of hair dangle over his face, making him seem a bit ominous. Decked out in creamy white cargo pants, with split-laced ends at the ankles and a matching trenchcoat, the man known as "Arkangel" heads down the ramp as the spotlight follows.
Reaching his destination, he stops to kneel before the ring. First making the sign of the cross over his chest, Cameron stands and climbs inside. Removing his coat and throwing it aside, "Arkangel" stands silently in the middle of the squared-circle, waiting for his match to commence.
Steve Hebert: Linkin Park... again?! Jesus Christ, why?!
Lex Robinson: It's Cameron Blake, who advanced to this round with a victory over Redmaine. A disqualification victory, but a victory nonetheless.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, and then one of Redmaine's follows destroyed him... and he had to be rescued by his girlfriend. Haha, what a douche. Didn't that happen before? That reminds me: whatever happened to Hailey Faith?
Lex Robinson: She was injured the same time as Cameron was. Wherever she is now, I have no clue.
Steve Hebert: What a two-timing scumbag.
Lex Robinson: Uh, I don't even think he and Hailey were dating. What are you rambling about?
Steve Hebert: Look, the guy is just a douche. It doesn't matter. His ride to the title ends here, anyhow, when he steps into the ring with Chris Carson. Actually, just get the former Creep out here. I've had enough of Cameron Blake's faggotry. One day, he'll realize that he needs to bow to Redmaine in order to save himself. Until then, he will be crying while listening to Linkin Park.
The entrance starts with a blank screen and no lights, save for only one high-beam shining from the ceiling to the entrance and the chorus of Creed's "Overcome", with the music ripped away from it.
I'm entitled to overcome
Completely stunned, I'm numb
Knock me down, throw me to the floor
There's no pain, I can feel no more
I'm entitled to overcome
The entrance song fades in with solid light coming from the screens, dimming into a "Chris Carson" logo with a cross embossed behind it. Once Carson comes onto the stage and walks towards the ring, he looks peaceful and ignorant of the crowd, the fixed spotlight following him to the ring, keeping him illuminated. He climbs into the ring, keeping his robe on, as he walks into the corner, grabbing the microphone from the ring announcer.
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, oh boy. Chris Carson is out again. I wonder what he has to say, this time.
Lex Robinson: Hopefully he'll clarify what he said earlier.
Steve Hebert: I hope so, too.
Lex Robinson: Here he goes.
Chris Carson: Quiet, all of you.
Of course, he gets nothing but boos.
Steve Hebert: Quiet, idiots. The man is talking! Have some respect. Then again, these morons wouldn't know respect if it crawled out of their colon.
The Fans: We want The Creep! We want The Creep!
Chris Carson: I told you. "The Creep" is gone. If all of you mindless sheep just want to ram your heads against each other and bleat for violence until someone DIES out here on the canvass, then so be it. You get your wish, but you won't see it be done to the Creep. He's gone forever, banished to the fiery pits of Hades!
Booooo.
Steve Hebert: Thank God.
Lex Robinson: This moral bullcrap is just that: crap! How can he say all these things?
Steve Hebert: Hey, when you're a family man, these things matter. Luckily for me, I live a sad, lonely, pathetic life, full of buying whores and getting them to piss on me. If there's a hell, I'll be there with The Creep.
Lex Robinson: You really are sickening.
Steve Hebert: Good. I lavish in it.
Chris Carson continues on.
Chris Carson: And most of all, you won't see it be done to Chris Carson. As of right now, at this precise second, I hereby RETIRE from wrestling for your sick minds! I'm DONE! May you all burn in Hell!
With that, Chris Carson throws the microphone to the canvas and promptly exits the ringside area.
Steve Hebert: Wait, what?! No... just... no! I mean, on one hand, I don't want him around this awful place. On the other, no more Chris Carson. That's just awful.
Lex Robinson: If it puts an end to his newfound preachy attitude, I'm all for it.
Steve Hebert: These fans are booing him, too! They had better be booing his retiring, or else...
Lex Robinson: And what about the match? I guess he just forfeits, then...?
Steve Hebert: Ugh... Cameron Blake advances again. Sickening. The fact that we have to listen to even more Linkin Park makes me want to put a bullet in my head.
Lex Robinson: What's stopping you?
Steve Hebert: Uh... I have to watch Jake Norton win the World Title, obviously!
To a chorus of boos, Chris Carson exits to the backstage area, while Cameron Blake has his hand raised by the referee. Cameron stands tall, not minding moving on to the semi-finals, getting applauded by the fans.
Lex Robinson: I guess Cameron Blake's going to the semi-finals. As for the Cre-- Chris Carson... I'm guessing he is retiring. Is this for real? Is it all over for him?
Steve Hebert: It is. My god, it is. We're now living in a Carson-less world. How awful. How terrible. To make things worse, Cameron Blake has a chance of becoming World Champion. Just kill me, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Don't tempt me.
Steve Hebert: Oh, be nice.
After the match, Cameron Blake shrugs his shoulders and rolls out of the ring, feeling the effects of the previous beatdown he received in the first round. On his way to the back, he slaps hands with several of the fans, most of which are thankful for his advancement.
Winner: Cameron Blake
Stevie Swing: ...What the fuck did I just do?
Shrugging, a confused Stevie Swing walks off, ready for her next match.
"Hero" by Skillet plays over the PA system, with some fans jeering. Jake Norton appears from behind the curtain and he receives a louder jeer. Norton begins to strut his way to the ring, feeding the negative reaction with his own happiness. From here, he slides inside the ring, while a 16 year old girl is seen shamelessly crying out of joy in the front row. Once inside, Norton pauses and directs his attention towards the audience on the ramp's left side, joyfully stretching out his arms in a shrugging fashion with a smile, while receiving a mixture of cheers and boos. Even Steve Hebert manages to stand and cheer for him.
Lex Robinson: Sit the hell down, Steve. Gosh.
Steve Hebert: I'm paying my respects. He fought like hell to make it past Anthony Deicide Elverum and now takes on Stevie Swing. Fact of the matter, whoever wins, I win. Whoever loses, I lose. I mean, I like both of these fellows. What more can I say?
Lex Robinson: You can stop yammering, that's for one.
Steve Hebert: Pffft.
Finally, taking a seat, Steve waits for the arrival of Stevie Swing.
Steve Hebert: Get that hot pussy out here. I mean it literally, too.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure sure you do.
Some lame-ass fighting game music hits, followed by a bombastic P.A.:
THE PATH TO GLORY IS PAVED IN AGONY
The lights in the arena cut out, plunging the audience into total darkness. Stevie Swing's familiar fiber-optic glass vagina descends from the rafters, flashing red and white so fast that any epileptic in the vicinity is likely to burst into flames. "Juicy," an awful J-Pop song by Koda Kumi, begins to play as the lips of the vagina part, revealing Stevie Swing in her Catgirl glory, her ears sticking out of her hair, her tail sticking out of her ass.
She is followed closely by Mr. Kagamusha, who has a digital camera in one hand and a Japanese flag in the other. He takes pictures of Stevie as she walks down to the ring, tail swaying in rhythmic, hypnotic fashion. At his command, Stevie reluctantly uses the ring post as a scratching post before climbing into the ring.
Before the match begins, Stevie's fight team swarm the ringside area, pampering her with a pre-match ear scratch and tummy rub. She looks happy for the attention as they take away her ring jacket, revealing her schoolgirl wrestling gear, and less pleased about the saucer of milk they have left behind. As Mr. Kagamusha snaps his pictures, Stevie reluctantly laps milk from the bowl, waiting for her opponent, her tail waving back and forth.
Steve Hebert: kekekeke.
Lex Robinson: Say what?
Steve Hebert: It's Jap time. Stevie Swing and her horde of Japs are here, egging her on. It's Norton-vs.Swing, for the first time in a Sin Wrestling ring.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton got here by narrowly defeating Deicide, in the opening round.
Steve Hebert: Hell, he originally wasn't even booked for the card. It wasn't until that Alan Fincher guy was driven off the road by some lunatic that he was added.
Lex Robinson: You're right, Steve. On the other hand, Stevie got here by taking out Trinity.
Steve Hebert: Trinity is a hot gothic whore, but hey, I'll do with my Stevie-titties.
Lex Robinson: You would.
The bell rings and the match commences. At first, Jake Norton seems a little apprehensive about facing a woman, but when Stevie nails him with an open-handed slap across the face, he goes on the attack.
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton's a fine gentleman. He wouldn't attack a woman unprovoked like how Stevie slapped him!
Lex Robinson: Uh, I've seen and heard Jake Norton do some pretty awful things, Steve. Both in SW and outside of it.
Steve Hebert: But he's a changed man!
Lex Robinson: Sure he is.
Right away, Jake applies a side-headlock, trying to pry Stevie's head off. Fortunately for her, she is able to slip away from his grasps and circle around him, giving him a stiff chop across the back.
Lex Robinson: There's some of that Japanese influence.
Steve Hebert: Do you think those claws dig into Jake's back?
Lex Robinson: Probably. Again, she strikes, kicking him with a sweeping kick to the gut. She then applies a standing armbar to Jake, who backs up into the ropes, using his fist to grind against her face to try and pry her away. She rapidly twists around, though, and whips him across the ring. Bouncing back, he comes sprinting towards her, allowing her to leapfrog over him. Dropping onto her back, she hoists her legs into the air and tries to flip him as he returns from the next set of ropes.
Steve Hebert: It's complete and utter failure, though. The second he returns, he grabs on to her feet, jumps into the air and double-stomps her face! Both of his feet grind into her forehead and he latches on to her legs and lifts her up, into a wheelbarrow position... wait, no...! He slams her forward, dropping her down on her face! Ouchies! Her poor pretty face. Mr. Miyagi won't like that.
Lex Robinson: It's Mr. Kagamusha.
Steve Hebert: Whatever. It hurts, okay. I got my point across.
Lex Robinson: Things continue to look bad for Stevie, with Jake hovering over her, watching as she holds her face. He actually grabs on to her cat ears and goes to lift her, but she back-hand chops him across the abdomen!
Steve Hebert: Oomph!
Buckling over, an air of wind erupts from Norton's lungs, as he drops down to one knee. Within seconds, Stevie is back up and is hammering away with some stiff forearms to his face, seconding them with some equally vicious chops to the chest, which resound all across the warehouse.
Lex Robinson: Those slaps and chops almost rip Stevie's skin off! Ew!
Steve Hebert: You gotta do what you gotta do. To be fair, Stevie shouldn't even be in this match. She won Over the Top Rope. She should have a direct shot at the World Title.
Lex Robinson: Well, I guess she still has it. I'm not even sure anymore.
Steve Hebert: Me neither. All I'm sure of right now, is that Stevie has Norton backed into the corner and is now whipping him across the ring. Wait... no, Norton reverses it! Turning around, he goes to short-arm clothesline Stevie, but she ducks underneath it. She backflips, lands on her hands and appies a modified handstand headscissors to Jake Norton! What in the dazzling fuck? Pushing herself up, she whirlwinds around and sends him tumbling overhead, with a spinning headscissors!
Lex Robinson: And Jake Norton goes flying out of the ring, sending between the top and the middle rope.
Steve Hebert: He almost landed on the Japs!
In the ring, Stevie prepares to launch herself, setting her sights on Jake, watching him rise. When the moment is right she bounces off the furthest set of ropes and comes storming back...
Lex Robinson: Stevie is coming at full speed...
...but she stops!
Lex Robinson: Huh?
...and then she gives the middle finger to the audience.
Lex Robinson: Oh, I get it now.
Steve Hebert: Haha, those rubes. They thought they were going to get to see something big, but she showed them.
Alternatively, Stevie slingshots herself over the top rope and lands on Jake Norton's shoulders, delivering a hurricanrana all the way to the floor!
Steve Hebert: Now was that good enough?
Lex Robinson: I suppose so...
Steve Hebert: Good; because she wastes no time in getting back up. Nailing a stiff forearm, she goes to whip him into the ring steps, but Jake Norton wisely jumps ON them. Good move. That's what I'd do, too.
Lex Robinson: Stevie charges at him, though; but Norton turns around...
Steve Hebert: Boom! Boot to the face! Poor Stevie walked right into that one.
As Stevie stumbles back, holding her face, Jake lifts her up and brings her up on the ring steps, alongside him. Pulling Stevie into a standing headscissors, he hoists her up... and after a several second wait, delivers a piledriver onto the steps!
Steve Hebert: That's it. Stevie is officially 5 inches shorter.
Lex Robinson: With the way she was driven into those steps, I believe it. Luckily, Jake Norton rolls back into the ring, breaks the count and then rolls back to the floor.
Steve Hebert: He's no dummy. He's not going to get a double-countout. Out here, he grabs onto Stevie, bashes her skull off the ring post... and then nails a Russian legsweep into the guardrail! It just gets worse for Stevie, damn.
As the Japanese posse gathers round, Jake Norton hails to the fans, looking for applause, but gets nothing but jeers. Shrugging it off, he picks Stevie up, smashes her face off the ring apron and rolls her back inside.
Lex Robinson: After cracking Stevie into the ring railing, Jake Norton rolls her inside, climbs onto the ring apron and is now going to the top rope. Again, he's looking for a response from the fans... but gets nothing.
Steve Hebert: Hey, there's squealing from horny teenage girls. Granted, their opinions on things don't matter, but they can always visit me after the show.
Lex Robinson: Teenage girls don't like fat French guys that let hookers urinate on them, Steve.
Steve Hebert: They just don't know what they're missing out on.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is going to jump...
Before he does, though, Stevie sits up, notices Jake on the top turnbuckle and jumps to her feet. Wasting no time, she races into the corner, runs up the turnbuckles and release belly-to-belly suplexes him from the top rope!
Lex Robinson: Whoa! Jake Norton is sent flying from the top rope! Holy crap!
Steve Hebert: She summoned the power of the Japs! Mr. Kagamusha, on the floor, is laughing heinously!
Lex Robinson: She's going right back on him, too. Right away, she jumps to her feet, shrugging off the damage done to her, nailing him in the head with some stomps and kicks. Jamming some knees into his back, she latches on to both of his arms and applies a Japanese stranglehold on Jake Norton, trying to wear him down.
Steve Hebert: Norton refuses to quit. Of course he does. There's no way he's going down with ease. He beat Deicide and he isn't going to go down easily to Stevie Swing.
Lex Robinson: Stevie is a former multi-time World Champion!
Steve Hebert: Stop trying to be a contrarian. Besides, Jake is rolling backward, trying to free himself. With his feet, he reaches up, pushes Stevie into the air and flings her across the ring, freeing himself! What a guy.
At approximately the same time, both Stevie and Norton get to their feet at the same time. They step toward each other, keeping a keen eye on the other. Norton makes the first move, trying to grab onto Stevie...
Lex Robinson: Stevie steps away from Jake Norton... and sweeps his legs out from under him. She goes to drop a quick corkscrew elbow... but it misses! Now, Norton springs up. Stevie is up, as well, and is sweeped off her feet! Norton goes to deliver an elbowdrop of his own...
Steve Hebert: Stevie rolls out of the way, too!
Lex Robinson: As soon as he lands, though, Jake Norton gets back up. He and Stevie face-off. Stevie armdrags Norton. Norton gets up and replied by armdragging Stevie, who gets back up... and armdrags Jake Norton, once again! Showing frustration, Jake Norton gets back up and armdrags Stevie across the ring!
Steve Hebert: Jesus. They're both up...
Lex Robinson: They charge at each other... and they try to armdrag each other! No dice, they both fall, resulting in neither of them being sent across the ring! Can you believe it?!
Steve Hebert: They're matching up, move for move. Not too shabby.
Both Stevie and Jake slam their fists off the apron, quite frustrated. They jump back up and opt to lock-up with a collar-elbow tie-up. Jake Norton soon twirls around Stevie and applies a reverse-waistlock.
Lex Robinson: Struggling for positioning, Stevie tries to yank Jake off, pulling one arm from her waist. She follows up by yanking his other arm away. Positions are reversed and Stevie is now waistlocking Jake Norton!
Steve Hebert: Aw, shit, Norton isn't going to enjoy that. He nails Stevie Swing with some elbows to the face and then circles around Stevie, re-applying the reverse-waistlock. See? He's not going to let her one-up him.
Lex Robinson: Stevie goes for a release German suplex... but Stevie is able to completely backflip and land safely on her feet! Seeing Norton rise, she darts at him and goes to nail him with a Shining Wizard...! No! Jake Norton ducks out of the way and jumps to his feet.
However, just as he turns around, Stevie flips upside-down towards the ropes with a handspring and comes springing back, jumps into the air, twists around and then nails a Tornado DDT onto him!
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing drives Jake Norton into the canvas! She's covering him!
The referee drops down, making the count...!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Uh oh...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton kicks out! Listen to the audience roar with delight!
Lex Robinson: Uh, they're actually booing that.
Steve Hebert: Not the children and the hot, illegal girls!
Lex Robinson: For some reason, they love Jake Norton. I don't know why, but they do! And they're loving how emotional he got when kicking out.
Steve Hebert: Speaking of emotional, Stevie angrily gets up, grabs Jake Norton and backs him into the corner. In here, she unloads with some more vicious chops, which get my dick hard.
Using a snap mare, Stevie sends Jake Norton from the corner, backs up and then charges out, delivering a running football-kick to Norton's lower back, creating a sickening sound!
Lex Robinson: That kick snaps into Norton's back! Jeez!
Steve Hebert: Not only that, but she bounces off the ropes behind Jake Norton and comes running back, nailing a sit-down dropkick to the back of Norton's skull!
Lex Robinson: Having Norton dazed, she leans on him, making the cover...
The referee makes his count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: But Jake Norton easily kicks out at the count of two!
Steve Hebert: She's gonna have to put a lot more than that into it. Perhaps even stick a foot in his jaw while covering him; or hold his testicles with her teeth, or something.
Lex Robinson: Well, I agree with those sentiments... I think.
Seconds later, Stevie pulls Jake Norton off the mat and gives him a double-handed throat chop to the throat. Having him temporarily cut off from breathing, she grabs his head and takes him down with a side-headlock. Fortunately for Jake, he uses his legs to wrap around her head, yanking her off him, making her jump right back to her feet, in fighting position.
Lex Robinson: Despite it all, Jake refuses to allow Stevie Swing to gain a direct advantage. They both step toward each other, with Stevie taking Norton down with a double-leg takedown. In a standing position, she wishbones both of his legs, splitting them apart, definitely working on his groin area.
Steve Hebert: Oh God, not the cock.
Lex Robinson: Not only that, but she kicks him in his right leg, nailing him in the knee! She proceeds to spin around that leg and then applies a standing Figure Four leglock!
Steve Hebert: Oh no, Jake Norton is in pain! This is not good! He's roaring out, holding onto his leg, while Stevie stands over him, applying more punishment. Don't tap, Jake, you can stay in this.
Lex Robinson: The pain may just be too much...
Rolling about, Jake Norton tries freeing himself. He doesn't realize he has an opening, until he uses his hands to reach up and grab Stevie by the her hair, pulling her off him.
Steve Hebert: He's free! He goes to stand...
Lex Robinson: But Stevie cuts him off by delivering a running, sit-down dropkick to that right knee! Jake Norton flops to the canvas, with Stevie Swing now applying a spinning toe-hold!
Steve Hebert: And she's dancing, too! How embarassing for Jake Norton! But she has some fine dancing moves. I think she's even throwing the Robot in there. Not bad.
Lex Robinson: Again, Jake Norton is in pain, having his leg worked over, but Stevie doesn't care.
Steve Hebert: Damn right. She doesn't give a shit. Winning that World Title is the only thing important to her.
Using his free left leg, Jake is able to kick Stevie off him by kicking her in the rear-end, knocking her into the ropes!
Steve Hebert: What a nice kick in the ass by Jake Norton. Unfortunately, it knocks Stevie into the corner, where her face smashes into the top turnbuckle pad!
Lex Robinson: Slow to rise, Jake Norton gets up, wobblies in after her and grabs her by the head. With that, he bashes her skull against the turnbuckle a few times and then whips her across the ring, smashing her into the opposite set of turnbuckles! Feeling the force of the blow, she comes stumbling out, only to receive a roundhouse kick to the head from Jake Norton!
Steve Hebert: But it was with that right leg! He wasn't able to get much on that.
Lex Robinson: It has knocked her back into the corner, at least. That's good enough for Jake.
In the corner, Jake propels Stevie to the top rope, sitting him on the top turnbuckle pad. Slowly, Jake Norton climbs after her, taking some time due to his damaged leg.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is setting up for something big here.
Steve Hebert: He couldn't get up there very fast, though.
Up here, Jake Norton leaps up and nails a top rope hurricanrana on Stevie, sending her flying off the top rope, across the ring!
Lex Robinson: Top rope hurricanrana!
Steve Hebert: Oh lord, Stevie was sent flying!
Lex Robinson: He's crawling towards her, going for the cover, but he's injured leg is nagging him. Finally, he lays across Stevie, making the cover...!
Again, the count is made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Steve Hebert: No! Stevie kicks out!
Lex Robinson: Oh man. Jake Norton may be frustrated and hurt, but he isn't done. He rises, standing on one leg, and takes Stevie up with him. Hammering her with some punches, Norton hooks her close, crosses one of her legs over the other and hoists her up into a suplex position. Brainbuster!
Steve Hebert: I think you mean BRAINBUSTAHHHH!
Lex Robinson: Wait... he still has a hold of her. He rolls through and stands up, alongside her. He again lifts her up... he hits a corkscrew brainbuster! Ow!
Steve Hebert: BRAINBUSTAHHHHHH... squared!
Again, Jake Norton makes a cover...
Lex Robinson: For the second straight time, Jake Norton is covering Stevie Swing. He could do it. He could be moving on to the semi-finals...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Steve Hebert: Stevie gets her shoulder up! She says "Fuck that" and rolls to her side!
Lex Robinson: Continuing to work on her head and neck region, Jake Norton sits her up and applies a neck-vice, twisting and bending her head to the side. Applying as much pressure as he can, he even nails some elbows to the back of her head, trying to keep her down and out.
Steve Hebert: She's frantically waving her arms, looking for a way out. After several seconds, she's able to rise... and nails a jawbreaker on Jake Norton! That oughta do it.
Jake Norton releases the hold and stumbles back, holding his mouth. Taking this opportunity to rise to her knees, Stevie comes up behind Norton and rolls him up with a schoolboy!
Lex Robinson: Stevie rolls Jake Norton up...!
Steve Hebert: What the...?
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Norton kicks out! They both rise... and now Norton rolls Stevie up with a schoolboy...!
Steve Hebert: So many schoolboys are getting fucked tonight!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: And now Stevie kicks out!
At the same time, both competitors get back up, with Jake Norton being slower on the draw, due to his damaged leg. As a result, Stevie is able to kick him in the right kneecap, grab onto his leg and then Dragonscrew legwhip him!
Lex Robinson: Stevie takes Norton down with a legwhip!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, that could have pulled something out of its socket.
Lex Robinson: She rolls through, with his leg still tucked beneath her arm and moves into a single-leg Boston Crab!
Steve Hebert: The hold is applied on that right leg! Jake Norton is going to submit!
The move only lasts for several seconds before Jake is able to contort his body around and roll Stevie up into a sunset-flip!
Steve Hebert: No, now Jake Norton says "Fuck that!"
Lex Robinson: He has rolled up...
The count is made by the referee...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Lex Robinson: Stevie brings both of her feet together, striking Jake Norton in the temples, thereby stopping the count! Jumping back to her feet, she leaps into the air and connects with a sit-down Yakuza Kick directly into his face!
Steve Hebert: Yeowch! That could be a broken nose right there! Her boot went directly into his cranium!
Lex Robinson: In what could be a mistake, she neglects making the cover, much to the disdain of Mr. Kagamusha, who is roaring out for her to do so. Instead, she grabs onto his leg, drags him near the ropes and places that right leg across the bottom rope. Using the middle rope to propel herself into the air, she comes crashing down across his knee once... twice... and thrice! She heads towards the adjacent corner, climbs to the middle rope... and dives off, hitting a senton bomb across his right leg!
Steve Hebert: She may be tiny, but all of her weight came crashing down on his leg, like a goddamn bomb! That cannot be good for Norton. How's he going to walk, now? He's going to be worse than Corey Page, for fuck's sake!
Lex Robinson: She's not done yet, either. She drags Norton into the center of the ring, wrenches his leg and...
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton inside-cradles her, holy shit...!
Dropping down, the referee begins the count...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...
Steve Hebert: No! Stevie kicks out! That almost caught her completely off guard!
Showing a look of surprise, Stevie shows no hesitation in getting up to her feet and stopping Norton before he can rise. Spinning around, she actually uses her cat tail to trip Jake Norton, clipping his right leg, dragging him back down!
Steve Hebert: Did... did she just use her cat's tail to sweep Jake Norton off his goddamn feet?! She is taking Halloween too far, desu. ...Wait, what did I just say?
Lex Robinson: I don't even know, either.
On the floor, Mr. Kagamusha holds up a ball of yarn, getting Stevie's attention. She wanders over, receiving direction from him, and he points to the top rope, prompting her to begin her ascent.
Steve Hebert: Did Stevie Swing just talk to that ball of yarn?
Lex Robinson: Maybe she needs a scratching post.
Steve Hebert: I hope she uses you as a scratching post. And as a litter, too.
As Norton is laid out on the canvas, Stevie climbs to the top turnbuckle, having her back turned to him. Before she can properly position herself, though, Norton sits up and views her steadying herself.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is up...
Steve Hebert: If he wants to stop her, he's gonna have to hurry.
Lex Robinson: Heavily slowed down by that bad leg, he tries to move in, but can't get anywhere. Suddenly, he leaps through the air... and shoves Stevie off the top turnbuckle, crotching her on the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Well shit, that'll do it. She landed cunt first.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton gets back to his feet, hooks onto Stevie's head... and gives her a neckbreaker as she's hanging from the top turnbuckle!
Steve Hebert: Agh! And she still remains upside-down, in that Tree of Woe position!
Rising to his feet, Jake Norton stumbles into the opposite corner. Despite his limp, he manages to charge out and deliver a running baseball-slide dropkick to Stevie Swing, nearly chopping her head off, sending him all the way to the floor!
Steve Hebert: What a dropkick from Jake Norton to an upside-down Stevie Swing, who can only hang there, dangling like a dead cat! Like a goddamn, retarded dead cat!
Lex Robinson: Fortunately for her, Mr. Kagamusha instructs one of his posse members to climb onto the apron and untangle her. For his effort, though, Jake Norton walks up to Mr. Kagamusha and pops him in the mouth with a punch! Well, at least the fans are behind that!
Steve Hebert: How dare he! He needs to focus on his match, that dummy!
Several Japanese men try to intervene, but Norton catches them with punches, as well!
Steve Hebert: Oh no, get in the ring, Jake!
Finished toying with the Japanese men, Jake Norton climbs onto the apron, taking his time. Seeing this, Stevie sprints to her feet and charges over, only to have Jake Norton try to shoulderblock her in the stomach.
Lex Robinson: Stevie's up... she moves... and she knees Jake Norton in the face! That'll stop his comeback.
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit. See what I told you, Jake!
Lex Robinson: And like a madwoman, Stevie grabs onto Jake Norton's head and begins nailing him with repeated front-kicks, leaving him hanging across the middle rope! When she's finished with that, Stevie, in a daze, walks into the adjacent corner and climbs to the top rope. Up here, she purrs like a cat--...
Steve Hebert: She is turning into a furry. I knew it.
Lex Robinson: She flies off the top rope... nailing a Shooting Star Legdrop across the back of Jake Norton's head!
Steve Hebert: Ultra Kawaii! That's the Hello Kitty Legdrop! She's making the cover...!
The referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...
Unable to reach the ropes with his injured leg, the only option available for Jake Norton is to reach out with his right hand and latch onto the bottom rope!
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton grabs onto the bottom rope! He stops the count! Stevie can't believe it!
Lex Robinson: I can't believe it, either! I thought that was it! These fans are on their feet, in awe.
Slapping the mat in anguish, Stevie begins scratching, clawing and gnawing on Norton, trying to wear him down. Seconds later, she climbs to her feet, steps into the opposite corner and begins scratching herself, making her leg kick and vibrate.
Steve Hebert: Turn on the music. No politics on the dance floor. It's time for The Last Dance! Stevie's fed the fuck up and wants this match to be over.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is slowly rising...
Steve Hebert: Here she goes...
A little off-balance, Stevie runs forward and launches The Last Dance superkick at Jake Norton's head...
Lex Robinson: ...No! He ducks! Norton turns around... and O'Connor Rolls Stevie Swing, pushing him off the ropes...
Steve Hebert: She hangs on, though! Jake Norton is able to roll backwards, getting back up to his feet, nonetheless. Stevie turns around... BOOM!
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton nails a superkick of his own, knocking Stevie into the ropes!
Steve Hebert: With that injured leg, though! Stevie comes bouncing back...
Lex Robinson: ...and she walks directly into a Pedigree from Norton! He rolls her over and covers her!
The count is made...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
Steve Hebert: This is it...
...
Lex Robinson: No! Steve kicks out! Can you believe it?!
Steve Hebert: Holy sweet merciful shit.
The fans are on their feet, split 50-50 between both competitors. Both of them are out of breath, feeling damage to various parts of their bodies. Slowly, they rise, using the ropes to try and help them stand. On opposite sides of the ring, they glance at each other, with Stevie deciding to charge at Norton, only to be backdropped into the air and land safely on the ring apron!
Lex Robinson: Stevie lands on the apron, resisting being sent to the floor. Just as Norton turns around, hoping to take her out, she strikes with a forearm to his face, knocking him backwards. Absolutely stunned, Stevie takes her time in getting to the top turnbuckle, while Jake Norton stumbles around on the mat. However, it isn't long until he sees her perched up there, trying to knock the cobwebs out of her head.
Steve Hebert: He's hustling over there. Well, as fast as anyone with a bummed leg can go.
Lex Robinson: Here he goes, climbing up alongside Stevie, who tries to fight him off, hammering him with some shots to the side of his head, even scratching at his face with those sharp nails!
Steve Hebert: It does enough damage to leave him disoriented, too! Thanks to that, she is able to lift him up onto her shoulders. Oh boy... I think it's time for Jake Norton to "Go to Fuck"!
Lex Robinson: If she hits this, it'll all be over, without a doubt!
Soon after putting Norton into a "Go to Fuck" position, Stevie goes to jump off the top rope. However, Jake Norton begins to squirm and elbow Stevie in the side of the head, freeing himself from this trapped state!
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton has found freedom! He slides off Stevie's shoulders and remains perched on the top rope, alongside her. He grabs her by the arm and hip tosses her off the top rope...! They both go flying through the air, with Stevie being flung across the ring!
Steve Hebert: Oh dear! Jake Norton lands on that bag leg. Is that going to effect him?
Lex Robinson: Luckily, he was able to brace himself. He stands in waiting, watching as Stevie Swing rises, in a hampered state. He charges forward...
Steve Hebert: Lariatttoooo--- no!
Lex Robinson: Stevie was hit with that vicious clothesline, but she pops right back up! Jake Norton turns around... and now Stevie nails him with a lariat of her own!
Steve Hebert: Lariattttooo--- no! What the heck?!
Lex Robinson: And now it's Jake Norton that pops to his feet, shrugging the hard-hitting clothesline off! Wow! They're going at each other, nailing back-and-forth forearms and punches, going strike-for-strike, in an all out frenzy! Stevie steps back, nails a leaping enziguiri to the side of Jake Norton's head, which drops him down to one knee! However, he pops right back up... and then reverse Russian legsweeps Stevie! But she blocks it! Instead, she strikes with some elbows to the back of his head and...
Steve Hebert: DESUDRIVER #4! That's right! Number fucking four! She dropped Jake Norton on his head! This has to be it! She makes the cover! There's no way he's getting out of this!
The count is made by the referee, who strikes the mat...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...
Lex Robinson: Thr--...
...
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton kicks out! Unbelievable! How the hell is he doing it?!
Lex Robinson: I have no idea! And neither do these fans, not Stevie Swing, who has her hands on her head. She rolls out of the ring, stumbles past her Japanese gang...
Steve Hebert: Probably members of the Yakuza. Jake Norton made a mistake in attacking them.
Lex Robinson: To be fair, they attacked him. Going against the wishes of a woozy Mr. Kagamusha, Stevie Swing pushes a fan in the front row and takes his steel chair.
Steve Hebert: Wait, she can't do this, can she? This is not a "No Disqualification" match. This would be stupid. Don't do it, Stevie... actually, she already has a World Title match guaranteed, anyhow. Fucking do it. If you can't kill the bastard, you may as well go down in a blaze of glory. Stevie will just cash her title shot in against whoever the hell wins this tournament. Haha, great idea!
Lex Robinson: I think you're right. Oh my...
Sliding into the ring with the chair, Stevie pushes her way past her Japanese gang and climbs to her feet. The referee tries to stop her, but she shoves him aside, paying no attention to him, either.
Lex Robinson: If she hits him with that chair, it's over...
It takes Norton a while to get on his feet, but when he does, he turns around...
Steve Hebert: There she goes...
Stevie charges at him, swinging that chair at his skull! However, at the last second, he ducks down, making the chair swing violently into the top rope! As a result, it bounces back and catches Stevie Swing in her own face!
Steve Hebert: Oh no! Disqualify Jake Norton! He can't do that!
Lex Robinson: Uhhh... he didn't use it! It's Stevie's own fault! She drops the chair and stumbles back...
Seeing the perfect opportunity, a worn down Jake Norton uses his energy to charge at Stevie Swing and inadvertently nails a Crucifix Driver onto the chair!
Lex Robinson: Crucifix Driver by Jake Norton, who has Stevie held down!
Steve Hebert: That certainly wasn't Stevie's plan!
Lex Robinson: She should have listened to that weird Japanese fellow!
The referee drops down, making the cover...!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: Will she kick out...?
...3!
Stevie kicks out, just as the three-count is made!
Lex Robinson: She kicked out, but it's too late! The cover was made! Jake Norton wins, thanks to Stevie's own miscalculation!
Steve Hebert: I'm proud for Jake Norton, but to see Stevie mess up like this... it guts me. Ugh!
Taking several seconds to get to his feet, Jake Norton has his hand raised by the referee, looks at the chair Stevie brought into the ring and patronizingly shakes his head.
Steve Hebert: I mean, good for Jake. Winning the match without needing any foreign objects, foreigners or weapons. But still... poor Stevie. She was supposed to win this tournament.
Lex Robinson: Just a few minutes ago, you were laughing at how she outsmarted Corey Page and would get a World Title match, anyhow, which she will.
Steve Hebert: But... but... but still! Poor Stevie. She's such a nice little pussy.
An enraged Stevie Swing gets to her feet and is forced to the back by security and her disappointing Japanese entourage. As for Jake Norton, he walks to the back, getting a mixture of jeers and cheers, which include whistles from the ladies in attendance.
Winner: Jake Norton
Travis Miller: Hey, man, what's with the lack of a handshake at the end of our match? It was a match well done.
Shaking his head, Xander Gates offers no reply. He goes to stand up, but Travis Miller puts his hand on his shoulder.
Travis Miller: Hey! Answer me! You married me to a human Cock! Don't I at least deserve an answer?!
Quickly, Xander brushes Miller's hand off his shoulder.
Xander Gates: Get your hands off me. I don't want to be bothered.
Walking away, an annoyed Travis Miller can only stand, googly-eyed, at what just occured. That soon gives away, showing Crux rolling Corey Page into the area, capturing Travis's attention.
Travis Miller: Huh? What the hell? Why are you all crippled and in a wheelchair?
Corey Page: Some cocksucker shot me in the head. Anyhow--...
Travis Miller: Oh.
Corey Page: Yes. Anyhow, as we all saw earlier tonight, in Ghost versus Regan Chambers, that... uh, the match was called off. Neither of them advanced. If I could shake your hand, I would; but I can't. What I'm trying to say is that you've moved on to the next round, via a bye. No, not a bisexual. A bye.
Nodding his head, Travis Miller holds his hands on his hips.
Travis Miller: Good. Good. Well, Happy Halloween. That Stephen Hawking costume is great.
Miller walks off, leaving a dejected looking Corey Page in his wheelchair.
Corey Page: I'm not Stephen Hawking! I'm crippled! Crux, wheel me out of here. Maybe Morgana is hiding here, somewhere.
Obeying the owner's commands, the man known as Crux pushes Corey Page away.
Bear Brant: Okay, Beau, you only know four moves besides your M.M.A. sets; but those four are powerful. It’s going to be hard to sink a submission in with three other guys in the ring, but if you can lock one on and make quick work, then do it. Otherwise, look to pull some high damage moves and let’s get you in and out of that ring, you’ve got to make it quick!
Beau Brant: Fuck that, bro. These fans want a show; and I’m here to give them one. I don’t care if that means putting my body on the line or jeopardizing my career. I wouldn’t be here without them.
Bear Brant: Alright, then, but make it good... and make me proud. You’re almost up.
Just as Beau makes his way down the hall, none other than Bruce Buffer walks up to Beau and gives him a firm handshake.
Beau Brant: Hey Bruce... again, man, I really appreciate this.
Bruce Buffer: Hey, just represent our sport out there well, tonight. And good luck, we’ll all be rooting for you.
Beau Brant: Thanks, it’s going to be something for the ages.
Bruce Buffer: Good, then let me go get this started off right.
Bruce walks past Beau, patting him on the shoulder, with the camera pulling back, showing Beau's opponent, Chris Extreme. Chris is laughing, mocking the conversation between the two. He even points at Beau Brant.
Chris Extreme: Fag!
In defiance, Beau Brant steps up to Chris, getting in his face. Before anything can happen, though, some security stands between them, making sure nothing breaks out, allowing for Chris to trot safely towards the entrance.
A microphone drops from the ceiling as Bruce Buffer makes his way up the steel steps and into the ring. He walks towards the middle of the ring, towards the microphone, and begins his live introduction.
Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentleman... in our next match-up, we have a man who comes from the highest ranks of Mixed Martial Arts. He is six feet, five inches, weighing in at an astonishing two-hundred and ninety pounds, a former World Heavyweight Champion of the M.M.A. World. Many call him “The Baddest Man on the Planet”, “The Texas Terror”; but you all know him as... Beeeeeeaaaaau Braaaaaaaaaaaaant!
The crowd erupts into cheers of excitement as “Last Resort” by Papa Roach comes over the P.A. system. Beau steps out through the entranceway, into view of the crowd, his hands held high. He stands at the top of the walkway for a few seconds, soaking in the love from the patrons of tonight’s event. He begins to walk forward, holding his hands out, touching the fans on both sides of him.
As he comes to the ring, he walks up the steps, and down the side of the ropes, throwing his hands into the air. Crossover fans, from M.M.A. to wrestling, hold signs for their favorite Sin wrestler, things like: “In Beau We Trust” or “Will You Marry Me Beau?” As his music comes to an end, he turns, jumps flat footedly on the top rope and into the ring. He goes into fight mode as he awaits his opponent.
Lex Robinson: Beau Brant got here by defeating 3 other people earlier tonight.
Steve Hebert: More importantly, we have Bruce Buffer introducing him to the ring. How in the hell can we afford Bruce Buffer, when my last check bounced?
Lex Robinson: Uh, for the same reason we can't afford Michael Buffer, I guess.
Steve Hebert: Hey, that's good enough for me. Now let's get Chris Extreme out here. Even though Chris seems to be back to his vicious ways, I just don't like it. There's still something a little too nice about him. I don't know what it is.
Lex Robinson: You just miss jerking off to him, while he looked like Morgana.
Steve Hebert: Well, that, too. Get him out here.
"Sonne" by Rammsteins makes a thunderous blast across the speakers. The fans rise to their feet, as Chris Extreme makes his way out, for the second time tonight, having dispense of Flame earlier in the evening. In his trademark white boxers, he stomps to the ring, climbs up the ring steps and enters inside, putting distance between himself and Beau Brant.
Lex Robinson: One thing Chris doesn't want to do is get too close to Beau Brant. If that happens, Beau will latch on, wear him down and rip his limbs off.
Steve Hebert: That gigantic fuck is built like a tree. Of course Chris doesn't want him leaning on him. It'd be lights out. If Chris Extreme is smart -- which he isn't -- he'll hit and run. At least that's what I'd do. Hell, I'd pepper the big lug with some testicle punches, too.
Lex Robinson: The dreaded testicle punch is one of Chris's arsenals, though.
Steve Hebert: You raise a good point. However, with the amount of roids Beau Brant consumes, do you think it would matter? I mean, Christ, I thought Shaku Endbringer was bad. Shaku had fucking noodles jumping out of his arms, for crying out loud!
Lex Robinson: Beau Brant is an entirely different beast.
Steve Hebert: He's like some sort of hairless, gay bear.
The two men circle each other, staring each other down.
Lex Robinson: In order to stay afloat, Chris Extreme is going to have to relay some of his psyche from his, uh, experience as Morgana. He's going to need that speed and inability to be held down. Can he do it?
Within seconds, Chris charges at Beau Brant... only to be taken down with a single, tough punch to the jaw!
Steve Hebert: ...Apparently not!
Lex Robinson: In an absolute date, Chris Extreme rolls out of the ring, with the fans going wild at Beau Brant's vicious punch! What a shot! Chris is walking around, trying to fix his jaw. He gets up on the apron and Beau shows no haste in going after him. However, Chris grabs onto Beau's head and drops down to the floor, guillotining Brant throat-first across the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Now that's what he's gotta do. He needs to stick and move, motherfucker. Gotta stick and move.
Lex Robinson: And like a snake, Chris Extreme slides inside and instantly goes on the attack, kicking, punching and stomping Beau Brant into the corner. Whoa, wait a second, Brant grabs on to him and turns things around...!
Within a second, Beau Brant has his hands wrapped around Chris's skull, flinging him into the corner and striking away with alternating punches, while Chris brings his hands up, trying to protect himself.
Steve Hebert: He's wailing away on Chris, who is turtling... like a Frenchman!
Lex Robinson: ...You're a Frenchman.
Steve Hebert: Don't rub it in, Lex. Chris has nowhere to go. His option left to do is... yes! He pokes Beau Brant in the eye!
Receiving a mixture of jeers and cheers, Chris stumbles out of the corner, trying to shrug the damage of. Some people are heavily supporting him; while others show disdain for him. Nonetheless, Chris fights on, catching Beau Brant from behind by jumping on his back and applying a sleeperhold.
Steve Hebert: Chris jumps on Beau's back! It's about time someone else started lifting Chris around, considering what he has to do for Corey Page, now.
Lex Robinson: You're referring to the now paralyzed Corey Page. Hopefully, in time, he can recover. But for now, Chris Extreme, Corey's apparent only friend, is hanging on for dear life. The fans that are on Chris's side, though, are chanting for him, watching on with glee, as Beau Brant drops to one knee.
Steve Hebert: He might have him! Beau Brant is most likely worn down from his previous match! He did have to fight 3 other people, you know. He's not freakin' superman. Hell, Chris Extreme is a former World Champion. There's no way Beau Brant is going to be able to keep going for much longer.
Lex Robinson: He may be new, but he has collected his share of fans, especially those from the MMA world. The referee is checking in on him...
Moving in, the referee grabs Beau's hand and raises it up, looking for a response...
Steve Hebert: Here we go...
...it drops...
Steve Hebert: It's dropped once! Two more times! Chris has him, I think!
The referee lifts his arm for the second time...
Lex Robinson: His arm is up...
...it drops...
Lex Robinson: ...and down...! One more to go!
For the third time, the referee raises Beau Brant's left arm.
Steve Hebert: Come on...!
...
Lex Robinson: It's drop--...! No! Beau Brant pops his arm up! He's regaining strength and is back up on both feet!
Steve Hebert: Uh oh. I can't believe it. Neither can Chris. Beau Brant, who looks like the steroid-induced son of Hitler, is standing. On normal circumstances, Chris would be approving, but right now? Not so much.
Showing vast strength, Beau Brant is on both feet, carrying a surprised Chris Extreme around on his back. Using all of his power, Beau throws Chris overheard, like a sack of potatoes, sending him flying off his back, across the ring and to the canvas, in the opposite corner!
Lex Robinson: He's done it! Beau Brant has freed himself!
Steve Hebert: Ugh. I knew it was a bad idea for Chris to get too close. What'd I tell ya, Lex?
Lex Robinson: He's measuring Chris up... here we go...!
Just as Chris gets to his feet, he turns around... and walks directly into the path of a spear from Beau Brant!
Lex Robinson: Spear! He nails Chris with the spear!
Steve Hebert: Holy crap, he's going to do it! Beau Brant has only just began wrestling, and he's going to defeat Chris Extreme! He makes the cover!
The referee starts to count Chris's shoulders to the mat...
...1...
Lex Robinson: There it is... one...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: ...two...!
...
Steve Hebert: He kicks out! Holy moly! I just shit in my pants! After being runover by a goddamn bulldozer, Chris Extreme has kicked out! I'm shocked! I'm scared! I'm enraged! I have no idea who to cheer for! I'm confused! Just kill each other.
Having Chris Extreme laid out in front of him, Beau Brant uses his Mixed Martian Arts prowess to lean atop Chris Extreme and begin hammering on him with some clobbering blows. Striking with some elbows and punches, Beau keeps Chris floored, even winding up a few times to deliver some big shots to the side of Chris's skull!
Lex Robinson: Chris is in big trouble! He needs to get out of there, immediately.
Steve Hebert: But how?! It's like he's stuck beneath a big boulder! It's like that one movie, in which the guy has to cut his arm off!
Lex Robinson: Are you insinuating that Chris Extreme needs to cut his arm off?
Steve Hebert: ...Yes!
Fortunately for Chris, the more Beau punches, the more he is able to reach out and near the ropes. When he's finally able to do so, Chris grabs on to the bottom rope, clinging on for dear life.
Lex Robinson: Chris is at the ropes. Of course, Beau has to break his hold and cover. The referee is stepping in, making the count. This is one of the main differences in MMA and wrestling: when your opponent reaches the ropes, you have to break the hold. There is no cage fighting.
Steve Hebert: Unless, of course, you're fighting in a cage.
Lex Robinson: Obviously.
Steve Hebert: Beau Brant is not letting go, Lex!
Lex Robinson: He's going to have to.
Once more, the referee warns Beau Brant, demanding that if he doesn't let go, he'll have to disqualify him.
Lex Robinson: After some warning, Beau releases his hold on Chris Extreme, enabling Chris to slowly rise and take a deep breath of air. That was like a huge rock holding him down, battering him with punches. However, he's now up... ducking beneath a huge punch from Beau Brant! Chris delivers a kick to the side of Beau's knee, making him wobble. Retaliating, Beau swings his left arm at Chris, but that's ducked, as well!
Steve Hebert: Extreme is doing a good job of ducking and running. Hell, he even boots Beau Brant in the asshole with his foot! A page straight out of my book.
Lex Robinson: I don't know if that was smart or not. An enraged Beau Brant swings around, grabs on to Chris's neck and hoists him into the air, with both hands.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh.
Thinking fast, Chris squirms about, realizing his only option is to boot Beau in the testicles, which he fervently does. Dropped to the ground, Chris begins to rapidly race around Beau, refusing to let him latch on to him, taking some seconds to lay some kicks and stomps at his larger foe.
Steve Hebert: This is more like it. He has Beau down to both knees. Chris bounces off the ropes behind Beau, jumps into the air and comes crashing down onto him with two knees to the back of the head! He curbstomped him... with his knees!
Lex Robinson: I'm not sure if Beau has ever been rocked like that in the MMA world, goddamn!
Jumping back up, Chris goes back to work, stomping the life out of Beau, giving him rapid kicks to the side of the skull every time he goes to move. Bouncing off the ropes again, Chris storms back, only to run directly into a leaping shoulderblock from Beau, who jumps to his feet, putting all of his strength into the blow!
Steve Hebert: Oh dear. Chris Extreme didn't see that coming! That was like a freakin' train!
Lex Robinson: Horrified at what just happened, Chris pops back up and races into the adjacent set of ropes. He ducks beneath an attempted clothesline from Beau and goes into the next set of ropes. Here he comes...
Steve Hebert: ...No! Beau catches him on the rebound and throws him high into the air! Gravity brings Chris Extreme down hard! He's no Morgana, after all, which is good... because, well, her. That no good, two-faced, lying, duplicitous bitch. I can't believe how she treats people. She was supposed to be Corey Page's friend, but she just lied to him, leading him on, making him think she cared. In reality, she just used him, milked him for all his worth. But guess what? Guess what, motherfucker, Corey Page cared! I know this for a fact because he told me! He told me while he was held up in that fucking wheelchair. Why did she have to lie to him? Deceive him? He would have done anything for her, but she destroyed him. She put him in a wheelchair -- in an emotional wheelchair. She killed him; almost destroyed him. Do you know how hurt Corey Page was? He gave a shit; but she didn't! She wouldn't return his calls, his messages... nothing. He was given nothing to realize that she didn't want him around. All she had to do was tell him, but she did nothing. She was the apple in his retarded, douchebag eye, but she destroyed him, manipulated him and used him. She has better friends, huh? The same friends that you talk behind their back about? Corey Page is so pathetic, too, he should have known she would use him, abandon him and get rid of him. All she gives a fuck about is writing fanfiction with her fat, lesbian, ugly, crazy girlfriend, which she also lied about having. My god, she's a fucking loon. How could she do all of that to Corey Page? What the fuck did he ever do to her? He made fun of her friends? So fucking what? Those faggots attend cosplay and anime conventions. Those fucking faggots hold douchey parties. They talk behind each other's back, with a knife and scissors cocked and ready to jab into the other's back 24/7. She thinks Corey Page is a drain? That's fucking funny: look at what they do to her, when Corey Page only cared. How fucked up. She gave him nothing. Noth--...
Lex Robinson: ...Are you done? Beau Brant has Chris Extreme laid out in the corner and is hammering away at him with stomps and kicks; and you're rambling like a lunatic.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, I'm good.
In between Steve Hebert's crazed rambling, Beau Brant has done a number on Chris Extreme, pounding away on him with clubbing fists and forearm shots. Whipping Chris from one corner of the ring to the other, Beau Brant follows in after Chris, hoping to sandwich him against the turnbuckles.
Lex Robinson: Chris leaps out of the way! The big man crashes into the corner! He stumbles backward, slightly dazed...
Steve Hebert: Chris fucks a schoolboy!
Lex Robinson: Uh...
Steve Hebert: Err... Chris with the schoolboy... a rollup, that is!
The referee drops down, making the count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: The fans are counting along...
...
Steve Hebert: No! Beau Brant powers out, pushing Chris Extreme off him! Wow! What a big guy. I bet he has a big dick. Fuck it, I want a cock-wrestling match. Beau Brant versus Chris Extreme: wrestling with their cocks. Book it now.
Lex Robinson: I hope not. Beau springs to his feet, instantly seeing Chris Extreme charge at him. However, once Chris realizes Beau is now standing, as well, he ducks underneath a fist and scurries to the floor, like a rat.
Out here, Chris waddles around, holding his head, having a massive headache. He circles around the ring, looking for an entrance, but each time he tries to get inside, Beau steps up to him, trying to grab on to him.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is being held off.
Steve Hebert: Every time he tries to get inside, that big faggot, Beau Brant, stops him! It's not fair!
Lex Robinson: Walking up the ring steps, he tries again. He is caught off-guard and Beau Brant grabs him by the ears and flings him inside, throwing him over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Oh shit.
Lex Robinson: Chris rolls around, trying to get to his feet, but Beau charges in, trying to nail a running knee! Wait--...!
Steve Hebert: Chris rolls out of the way! He pushes Beau towards the corner, making him crash against the turnbuckles! Beau Brant stumbles back... and walks right into a kick to the balls from Chris Extreme! And now a stunner! That has to be it! Chris Extreme has come back!
Lex Robinson: He covers Beau Brant...!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Lex Robinson: No! Beau Brant throws Chris Extreme off him! Wow!
Steve Hebert: Oh, what the fucksticks?
Looking surprised, Chris sits up, holding his hands on his head.
Lex Robinson: Even the fans can't believe it.
Steve Hebert: Neither can I. That should have been it.
Like a voracious animal, Chris Extreme sits atop Beau Brant, hammering away with him with a flurry of punches. Beau, however, shields himself well, allowing him to throw Chris off him and rollover, attempting some punches of his own.
Steve Hebert: My god, he is like Michael Myers. How's that for a Halloween reference?!
Lex Robinson: It's true, though. He just keeps on coming and coming, like some sort of monster.
Steve Hebert: He's a fucking brute. That's what he is.
Lex Robinson: That brute is getting back to his feet and is lifting Chris Extreme, the three-time World Champion, up with him. From here, he places Chris on his shoulders, holding him in an upside-down fireman's carry position. This isn't going to be pretty. Not for Chris, at least...
Backing towards the ropes, Beau Brant calmly and easily flings Chris Extreme overhead, dropping him across the top rope, with a reverse Death Valley Driver!
Lex Robinson: Ooooooh my...
Chris remains hanging there, gasping for breath, while Beau gets to his feet, licking his chops. Rubbing his hands, Beau takes a football stance, waiting for Chris to stand properly on the side of the ring apron.
Steve Hebert: That motherfucking bull is charging... like a motherfucking bull!
Beau Brant collides with Chris Extreme, giving him a massive shoulderblock, sending him flying off the ring apron and crashing into the steel ring barrier! Landing with a thud, Chris echoes a loud howl, which reverberates around the warehouse, sending shockwaves of horror up everyone's spine.
Steve Hebert: Did you see that?! Chris Extreme just crashed back-first into that steel railing! Holy friggin' ouch!
Lex Robinson: To make matters worse for him, Beau Brant is following him out. Beau exits the ring, hops down to the floor and steps toward Chris Extreme, who remains on his back, on the cold, hard floor. As the referee counts, Beau uses one hand to lift Chris to his feet...
Steve Hebert: But Chris had been playing possum! He uses his fingers to jab and claw at Beau's eyes! Now that's a smart move!
Lex Robinson: But it doesn't take away the damage done!
Both men remain on the floor, with Beau Brant stumbling back, temporarily blinded. From behind, Chris grabs him by the head and smashes his skull off the ring post!
Steve Hebert: There's froth foaming from Chris Extreme's mouth. He has rabies, or something. Hell if I know.
From there, Chris begins to repeatedly bash Beau's skull off the top ring step! The fans, who are split, rally behind both men, who have the referee counting them out.
...1...2...3...4...5...
Lex Robinson: Chris rabbit-chops Beau across the back of his neck! Not a smart move because Beau has the neck of a gladiator.
Steve Hebert: He really does have the neck of an ejaculator. It's amazing.
Lex Robinson: Uh, no. Chris has Beau's face against the ring steps, which he climbs up. Chris is now standing on Beau's face, which is sandwiched between his feet and the steel steps!
Steve Hebert: And yet the referee is still counting!
...6...7...
Stepping off Beau's face, Chris watches as the larger man stumbles back. When he turns around, Chris throws himself off the ring steps, diving at Beau.
Lex Robinson: Beau catches Chris!
Steve Hebert: Should have just remained on his stupid face.
...8...
Beau Brant whirls around, smashing Chris Extreme's back against the ring post, dealing more damage to it after smashing against the railing.
...9...
Lex Robinson: The referee's at 9!
Steve Hebert: Beau rolls Chris inside the ring...
...
Lex Robinson: Beau rolls in, as well, just narrowly beating the count. Come to think of it, I don't think he was even paying attention to the count. That could have been disastrous for him.
Steve Hebert: It's that MMA mentality. It's going to be that big dummy's downfall.
Back inside, Beau lifts Chris to his feet and begins to hammer away at his head with elbows! Seconds later, he pulls Chris into a standing headscissors and then hoists him up onto his shoulders, into a powerbomb position.
Lex Robinson: Bad back and all, Chris manages to slide out of Beau's clutches and lands behind him. Just as Beau turns around, Chris delivers another kick to the midsection--...
Steve Hebert: That was to the cock!
Lex Robinson: Well, perhaps. Either way, Chris is going for the straitjacket piledriver! Err... he's trying... but either his back is giving out, or Beau Brant is just too big...
Steve Hebert: Fuck that. Beau Brant just sends Chris flying across the ring with a huge, powerful backdrop! Holy shit on a stick. Chris just can't a break... unless it's his back.
Lex Robinson: And now Beau Brant is measuring him up, yet again...
Steve Hebert: He's going for another spear...!
When he notices that Chris is on his feet and facing him, Beau charges at Chris, going at full-speed. This time, things are a little different, as Chris is able to move out of the way, just in the nick of time!
Lex Robinson: Chris moves! Beau Brant goes into the corner, smashing into the ring post, in the process! He may be out! He drops backward. Chris is moving in, going for the kill.
Steve Hebert: He's rolling the big, thick guy onto his belly. Is there an ass-fucking in Beau Brant's future?!
Lex Robinson: Say what?
There's no sodomy, but there is a crossface applied by Chris Extreme, whose back pain has now transferred into a gleeful smile, as he applies the hold!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme has his version of the Crossface applied! This would make any man tap, but not Beau Brant, who is hanging in there!
Steve Hebert: The referee is buzzing around like a goddamn mosquito, checking to see if he quits. Of course he isn't going to quit. It'd take a wheelbarrow of dynamite to make that motherfucker quit. It'd take fucking Timothy McVeigh to make him quit.
Lex Robinson: Jesus, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Too soon? It's only been, what? 15 years?
Showing no signs of surrender, a roaring Beau Brant refuses to submit to Chris Extreme's crossface submission. With the fans on their feet, cheering for both men, Beau continuously denies the referee's inquiries.
Steve Hebert: It's insane! He's just not quitting!
Lex Robinson: And it's infuriating Chris Extreme, who manages to pull harder, trying to make him quit. And... can you believe this? Beau Brant is beginning to rise, with Chris Extreme still holding on to him! He's up to one knee... and now two...
Steve Hebert: What the hell?! Beau Brant is standing to his feet, with Chris Extreme clinging to him, like a parasite, trying to make him quit!
Lex Robinson: Slowly, Beau steps towards the ropes... can he reach them? He does! Chris doesn't break the hold, though!
Steve Hebert: How can he? He's friggin' upside-down, to the side and everything, while holding onto that musclehead!
With his arm wrapped around the top rope, Beau refuses to let go. Ditto with Chris Extreme. Eventually, Chris is left hanging on the ropes, using it to prop himself up, with the referee counting him out, demanding he release the hold.
Lex Robinson: The fans are going nuts. However, if Chris doesn't let go, he could lose the match...!
The referee counts...
...1...2...3...4...
Before the referee can reach 5, Chris goes sprawling over the top rope and to the floor, with Beau Brant falling out behind him!
Lex Robinson: They plummet to the floor!
Steve Hebert: Aw, shit. On the brightside, at least that broke up the crossface!
Lex Robinson: It didn't stop them from dropping to the floor, though.
Out here, both men slowly rise, with Beau being the first on his feet. He nails Chris with some blows, but Chris Extreme fires back with some headbutts to the crotch!
Steve Hebert: Beau needs to stay on him; perhaps smash his face against something hard. Like Chris's own cock.
Lex Robinson: Negating the blows to the groin, Beau grabs onto Chris's head and hoists him into the air with a two-handed choke! Wait... Beau Brant heaves Chris overhead with a belly-to-belly chokehold suplex! My god, he just flung him like... like...
Steve Hebert: Like a baby!
Of course, the referee is inside, still counting both men out...
...1...2...3...4...5...
Steve Hebert: Hell, Chris landed on his back again. That had to do even more damage. Can he even walk?! Who knows.
Again, Beau goes after Chris, who is holding his back, in a rack of pain. Lifting him up, he punches him across the face, places both hands together like an axehandle and clubs Chris across the chest, as he lays across the ring railing!
Lex Robinson: They need to get back in the ring, though!
Steve Hebert: Hey, we may have a double countout! Wouldn't that be something?! Travis Miller could get the easy bye to the finals! Actually, my god, that'd be awful. Someone get in that ring!
...6...7...8...
Lex Robinson: Someone's gonna get counted out... Beau has Chris pressed into the air and is going to drop him across the ring railing...
Steve Hebert: The fuck he is! Chris slides out, landing behind Beau Brant! He gives Beau a great shove, sending him crashing through the railing and into the front row!
...9...
Steve Hebert: Chris slides back into the ring...!
....10...!
Steve Hebert: That's it! It's over! Chris Extreme has advanced!
Lex Robinson: Whoa, that was too close. On one hand, Beau Brant was not pinned; but he got counted out! This means Chris Extreme advances in the tournament and will face Travis Miller in the semi-finals.
Steve Hebert: I can live with that.
Lex Robinson: Beau Brant may be out and his chances at becoming World Champion may be over, but he put on quite a show. You have to think he'll be in contest for the Ultraviolence Title later in the evening.
Steve Hebert: Either way, he's a loser, so fuck'em.
Inside of the ring, Chris stands to his feet, barely aware that he has won the match, having the energy knocked out of him, due to Beau Brant. Getting a mixed response from the fans, he finally holds his arms in the air, while Beau Brant slowly rises on the floor, looking disappointed.
Lex Robinson: We're getting closer to crowning a new World Champion. We're down to the final four: Travis Miller, Chris Extreme, Cameron Blake and Jake Norton.
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton... how the hell did he pull that out? Holy Jesus.
Lex Robinson: Perhaps Jake Norton will use this night to propel himself to the top of Sin Wrestling. Who knows.
Afterwards, Beau Brant walks up the back, getting some pats on the back from the fans. Chris Extreme exits the ringside area next, getting a mixture of jeers and cheers, still looking tired.
Winner: Chris Extreme
Ace Rodgers: Creep...!
Chris Carson gives Ace a cold, hard stare.
Ace Rodgers: Errr... I mean Carson. Sorry, I'm still not used to it. What did you mean with your message from earlier? Does it mean what I think it does?
Chris Carson: First off, Ace, look at this. Look at all of this...
Taking a step back, Chris Carson, the prior World Champ, looks around at his settings. He points at a toy witch that cackles and then grabs a skeleton, yanking it off its holdings.
Chris Carson: This is what the wrestling business has devolved in to. Images of Pagan and satanic beliefs. Whatever happened to wholesome family values? Whatever happened to being a real man? This is sickening. And you wonder why I am how I am...
Suddenly, he stops speaking. Jake Norton, of all people, steps into view, with a proud smile on his face. Nodding his head, he silently stands across from Chris Carson, who is paranoid about his motivations.
Chris Carson: What do you want? Everyone knows of your actions. You're one of the main offenders, Norton.
Ace Rodgers: Actually, that is a good question. What are you doing here, Jake Norton?
His silence soon breaks and Norton offers his hand for a handshake.
Jake Norton: I agree with you, Mister Carson. It's time for this place learn some wholesome values.
Norton displays a toothy smile.
Jake Norton: This place needs to be cleaned up. To be frank. it needs a hero. Someone that they can trust to remove the cancer. And that person is me. So...
Aloof, Carson doesn't shake Norton's hand. As a result, Jake reaches forward and shakes Carson's hand, forcing him into it.
Jake Norton: I'm the man to do it. You have no worries.
Releasing Carson's hand, Jake Norton walks away, still smirking. A cackling goblin gets in his face, but he just shoves it away, while Carson can only stand, speechless, not knowing how to react.
Singles Match
"In the End" by Linkin Park chimes in over the P.A. White smoke fills the stage as the lights dim to nothingness. The spotlight shines down upon the stage as Cameron Blake appears amidst the swirling fog.
His long locks of hair dangle over his face, making him seem a bit ominous. Decked out in creamy white cargo pants, with split-laced ends at the ankles and a matching trenchcoat, the man known as "Arkangel" heads down the ramp as the spotlight follows.
Reaching his destination, he stops to kneel before the ring. First making the sign of the cross over his chest, Cameron stands and climbs inside. Removing his coat and throwing it aside, "Arkangel" stands silently in the middle of the squared-circle, waiting for his match to commence.
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, Lex! Here we go! It’s time for the semi-finals!
Lex Robinson: Indeed. Cameron Blake takes on the winner of bracket B, Jake Norton.
Steve Hebert: The freeloading Cameron Blake hasn't had to take on anyone yet, whereas Jake Norton has had two grueling matches with Stevie Swing and Deicide. Ridiculus.
Lex Robinson: That weird guy, clad in black, who was with Redmaine, did beat him up!
Steve Hebert: Good. That's why I'm giving Jake Norton the victory in this.
Lex Robinson: I think you should be reprimanded for such a statement. Cameron Blake is clearly the favorite in this match.
Steve Hebert: Ahhh, what do you know? You twat!
Lex Robinson: Here comes Cameron Blake! Cameron Blake looks very determined to win this match, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Cameron Blake looks very determined to remove your nose from his ass.
Lex Robinson: What? In any event, it will be interesting to see how he fares in this match, having been beat down earlier tonight.
Steve Hebert: Look! Jake Norton!
"Hero" by Skillet plays over the PA system, with some fans jeering. Jake Norton appears from behind the curtain and he receives a louder jeer. Norton begins to strut his way to the ring; feeding the negative reaction with his happiness. From here, he slides inside the ring, while a 16 year old girl is seen shamelessly crying out of joy in the front row. Inside the ring, Norton pauses and directs his attention towards the audience on the ramp's left side, joyfully stretching out his arms in a shrugging fashion with a smile, while receiving a mixture of cheers and boos.
Lex Robinson: These two both look like they are still in good enough shape to compete here, in the tournament semi-finals.
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton just needs to shake off that damage done to his right leg.
Lex Robinson: If he even can. Stevie worked him over real well.
Steve Hebert: Ugh.
The bell rings and the referee signals for the two men to begin fighting. They both instinctively begin trotting in circles around one another, with Norton having a noticeable limp.
Lex Robinson: The two meet in the middle of the ring in a grapple. After struggling back and forth, Norton lifts his left knee into the midsection of Cameron Blake.
Steve Hebert: That's how you start things off. Give him a beating.
Lex Robinson: As a result, Cameron falls to his knees, bracing his side. Following that, Norton kicks him twice more in the chest area, lifts Cameron up and grabs his arm, slinging him into the ropes. Cameron rebounds and instead of running into a boot that Norton set up, he dodges and puts on the brakes...!
Steve Hebert: Aw, crap! Norton turns and is leveled with a clothesline from that douchebag, Cameron Blake!
Lex Robinson: Immediately, he falls to the mat and Cameron wastes no time in jumping into the air and landing his leg on top of Norton’s windpipe!
Jake Norton is lifted up into a sitting position while selling the leg drop, and Cameron lifts himself to his feet. He runs towards the ropes and bounces off, dives and delivers both feet right into Norton’s spine, making him fall back to the mat.
Lex Robinson: Cameron Blake delivers a seated-dropkick. He goes for another, while Norton is in some pain, but at the last second, Cameron Blake stops, while Norton flinches. Instead, he goes around and applies a leglock to that right knee!
Steve Hebert: Oh no, he's stretching that leg, bending it around his very own.
Lex Robinson: Cameron Blake doesn’t appear to be too banged up from the attack earlier on tonight. He's looking decent, so far.
Steve Hebert: No, but that doesn’t mean he won’t lose miserably!
Lex Robinson: How can you be so sure?
Steve Hebert: I just know, okay? I’m that good!
Dropping Norton's leg, Cameron stands, and lifts Norton to his feet. He grabs an arm and whips Norton into the nearby corner as hard as he can. As Norton lies limp in the corner, Cameron sells his early success to a cheering crowd. He soon returns to work on Norton, walking towards and attempts to club him in the head with clenched fists. However, Norton responds, delivers some more shots to the midsection of Cameron.
Steve Hebert: Good ol' Jake Norton isn't going to go down without a fight. He's hammering fists into Cameron Blake's midsection, trying to reverse his fortunes. After that battle he had with Stevie Swing earlier tonight, this is probably the best thing to do.
Lex Robinson: Norton whips Cameron in the corner, instead. He then immediately goes back to the midsection, punishing Cameron with a plethora of fists. Norton grabs Cameron, and whips him into the opposite corner, which Cameron hits and drops to the mat in pain!
Steve Hebert: He wastes no time, pulling Cameron back up to his feet and putting a few more knees into the midsection.
Lex Robinson: Norton drops Cameron to his knees once again, slides Cameron’s head between his legs, lifts him into the air and slams him to the mat, near the center of the ring.
Norton goes back to the corner, steps through the ropes, rises to the top of the turnbuckle and waits, gaining his barings.
Steve Hebert: Here goes nothing...
Jake Norton leaps into the air and frog splashes onto the top of Cameron Blake!
Lex Robinson: He hits the splash! He may have inadvertently damaged his right leg even moreso, though! Nonetheless, he immediately goes for the cover.
The referee drops to his knees and counts...
...1...!
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...!
Lex Robinson: Two... and...
...
Steve Hebert: No! Cameron Blake, that awful retard, kicks out at the last second!
The referee pulls himself back up and signals a 2 count to the timekeeper and the crowd. An aggravated Jake Norton shakes his head and goes back to work on Cameron.
Steve Hebert: He goes right back to work, though.
Lex Robinson: It's a smart move, as he drops a few elbows onto the neck of Cameron Blake, who still lies prone on the mat.
Jake Norton stands and poses for an unruly crowd, expecting cheers, but gets the opposite. The fans are fully behind Cameron Blake, causing Jake Norton to shake his head, taking his mind off Cameron.
Lex Robinson: Cameron Blake sneaks up behind Norton! Rollup...!
Steve Hebert: Wait, no!
Lex Robinson: The count is made. Will Cameron Blake move on to the finals?!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton kicks out! Thank Christ.
Lex Robinson: At the same time, both men get up and go face-to-face. Thanks to being able to rise quicker, Cameron Blake nails Jake Norton with a few fists, going to work on him! He's going for a snap suplex... but Norton blocks it!
Steve Hebert: Ah-ha! Good!
Lex Robinson: But Cameron Blake responds by kneeing Norton in the gut... and hitting the suplex! Yes!
Steve Hebert: Son of a bitch.
Lex Robinson: Cameron rolls through, lifts Norton up... and hits a second straight snap suplex!
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit, stop!
Lex Robinson: And one more for the road...
For the third straight time, Cameron rolls through the suplex, gets back to his feet and gives another snap-suplex.
Lex Robinson: This is certainly shaping up to be a great match between these two men.
Steve Hebert: I can’t believe Jake Norton, he’s embarrassing me right now! Wake up, man!
Cameron Blake rolls through and makes the cover on Jake Norton...
Lex Robinson: The cover has been made...!
...1...!
Lex Robinson: There's one...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...!
Steve Hebert: Norton thankfully kicks out! Phew.
Lex Robinson: Cameron seems determined to keep working on Norton. He himself runs towards the corner of the ring, pulls himself up to the top of the turnbuckle and leaps off, lunging towards his opponent! No! Norton lifts his knees up and Cameron Blake lands ribcage-first on them! That had to hurt!
Steve Hebert: I’ll say! Get ‘em! Get ‘em! Get ‘em!
Norton pulls himself to his feet, with Cameron Blake standing groggy in front of him. Norton jogs forward and jumps into the air, grabbing the head of Cameron Blake and flips him up and over, onto the mat! From here, he applies a standing headscissors, trying to add pressure, but the pain in his leg is too much to keep the hold applied for too long.
Lex Robinson: Norton has a standing headscissors cinched in, with Cameron Blake wiggling about. Cameron goes to backdrop him, hoping to rid himself of him, but Norton rolls through and sunset-flips him...
Steve Hebert: Yes! A rollup and...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No, damnit! Cameron Blake is able to kickout. Screw that.
Appearing frustrated that the match must continue, Norton pulls Cameron to his feet and whips him hard toward the nearby ropes, sending Cameron to the outside!
Lex Robinson: Cameron Blake splatters to the floor, just in front of us.
Steve Hebert: Hopefully, he has smashed his skull.
Lex Robinson: Who knows. Jake Norton slides of the ring, after him. The referee yells for him to return to the ring, but Norton doesn’t listen, which is odd, since he's trying to be "Mister Moralistic", now.
Steve Hebert: He's this close to the World Title Match. He's not going to surrender because of that.
Lex Robinson: Norton puts a couple of boots into the side of Cameron Blake, who really seems to be aggravatedall of the shots to his ribcage. At this point, the referee begins counting them both out...
...1...2...3...4...5...
Cameron stands and Norton attempts to whip him into the nearby steel stairs, but Cameron reverses it and sends Norton into the stairs, instead! Norton grabs his back in agony and falls helpless to his uninjured knee.
Steve Hebert: Oh no, he's in pain.
...6...7...8...
Nearing the 10 count, Cameron pulls himself to his feet, whips him up under the bottom rope and into the ring. He slides in and pulls himself to his feet.
Lex Robinson: Cameron Blake slides in the rin,g having nearly been counted out!
...9...
Steve Hebert: It’s a shame he wasn’t! Poor Norton!
Norton scrambles to his feet as well.
Steve Hebert: ...but he's back inside, thank the dickens! He regains the upper hand by again kneeing the midsection of Cameron Blake, who Cameron writhes in pain, but remains standing, that zilch. Jake Norton stands by his side, wraps a leg behind one of Cameron’s and swipes it from under him nailing a Russian leg sweep. He's going for a quick cover...!
Lex Robinson: Will this be it? Will Jake Norton move to the finals...?
The count's made...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No! Cameron kicked out!
Lex Robinson: That was very close to a near fall!
Norton appears to be even more frustrated, having completed many pinfall attempts. He stands and grabs one of Cameron’s legs, wraps it around his own and drops to the mat, locking him in a figure four leg lock.
Steve Hebert: Now this should do it.
Lex Robinson: I don't know. Norton's own leg isn't strong enough to keep it applied. As a result, Cameron Blake scrambles for the ropes and is able to reach out and grab the bottom one!
Steve Hebert: Damnit! Why couldn't someone hold those away from him?!
At first, Norton refuses to let go of the hold, prompting the referee to start counting him out...
...1...2...3...4...
Steve Hebert: Fuck it. Don't let go, Jake.
Lex Robinson: Jake's not going to push the boundaries.
Steve Hebert: Damnit. Stop trying to be a good guy. Just break the fucker's leg. Needs more incessant cheating!
Relinquishing the hold, following the rules, Jake Norton rises, lifting Cameron Blake up with him. He whips him across the ring, into the furthest set of ropes, lunges into the air and goes for a crossbody block on Cameron, hitting it perfectly!
Steve Hebert: Fuck it. That crossbody may have just done the trick!
The referee drops down, making the cover...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: He's gonna do it...!
Lex Robinson: Thr--...
...
Cameron Blake is able to roll through and reverse the pinfall...!
Lex Robinson: The pinfall is reversed! Cameron rolls on top of Jake Norton!
Steve Hebert: Oh no...!
The count is made...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two... and...!
...
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton kicks out! Oh my God, that was too goddamn close.
Both combatants pop up, with their backs turned on each other. Jake Norton, wobbling on his feet, is the first to turn around...
Lex Robinson: That was so close. Now, Jake Norton turns, watches Cameron Blake spin around...
Steve Hebert: Boom! Norton catches that douche with a lariat! He nearly lobbed off his head! The count is made!
Lex Robinson: What a clothesline!
The referee drops down, making the count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...
Steve Hebert: Is it? Is it...?
...3!
Lex Robinson: Three! He does it!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Jake Norton is going to the main motherfucking event! He's going for the World Champion. I'm calling it right now. Jake Norton: next World Champion.
Lex Robinson: We still have to figure out the other main event competitor. It'll either be Travis Miller or Chris Extreme. We'll have to see.
Steve Hebert: Either way, I'm putting all of my marbles on Jake Norton.
Lex Robinson: Ugh.
Steve Hebert: It's time to bring some prestige back to that title. Chris Carson tried, but Corey Page screwed him over.
Lex Robinson: Corey Page "screwed" him over by... uh... getting shot.
Steve Hebert: My point exactly!
After the match, Cameron Blake rolls out of the ring, having been stunned by that vicious lariat. Jake Norton, alternatively, stands in the ring, holds his arms high and looks for appraisal from the fans. He gets none. Exiting to the floor, he walks to the back, knowing he has a World Title shot in his immediate future.
Winner: Jake Norton
Flame: Begone, you...
Unfortunately for Flame, Trinity has grabbed a pumpkin and throws it at Flame's head, smashing it into pieces against his skull! As a result, Flame stumbles backward, allowing Trinity to grab a steel chair and crack it across his back!
Corey Page: Hey, hey-- what's going on here?!
Disturbed with the racket and noise, Corey Page is wheeled into view by Chris Extreme, who is looking exhausted. Behind them, Crux peeps over Chris's shoulder, trying to figure out what's the big commotion.
Crux: Is it Morgy?
Corey Page: Unfortunately, it's not.
Corey swivels his head at Trinity and Flame, who have momentarily stopped their fighting.
Corey Page: Give it up, you two! If you want to fight, save it for later. Remember the Ultraviolence Title? Well, you're in a match with it.
Flame, in pain, manages to mouth some words of joy.
Flame: Good. Revenge is going to be great.
Corey Page: Wait just a second--..! You're not going to be alone. I'm putting two others in the match. Lee Kemp is in it, as well. Despite his loss, I liked what he displayed. You'll have to take him out, if either of you wants to win the title.
Trinity holds up the chair, about to smack it against Flame once more. Before she strikes, Corey speaks up, stopping her once more.
Corey Page: Oh, wait...damnit, I said wait! There's another man.
Obviously, Trinity is annoyed.
Trinity: Who?
Corey Page: The man that Chris Extreme--...
Corey uses his head to gesture to Chris, who is sucking on oxygen.
Chris Extreme: That's... [gasp]... me...
Corey Page: Yeah, the man he beat earlier. Beau Brant, the guy with the muscles. The guy with the legs. And the arms. And the fighting. And my god, I wish I could stand up. Wheel me away, Chris, before I get tear-eyed.
Chris Extreme: But I have another match to get to!
Corey Page: Fine! Just leave me here! Abandon me! Abandon me, like how everyone else does! Like how Morgana did!
Looking sad, Crux pats Corey on the head.
Crux: Don't worry, you got me. [he turns to Chris] You go win your match. I'll take care of Mister Page.
Chris Extreme: Right.
Taking a big gulp of air, Chris Extreme motions forward, pushing past Trinity and Flame, stepping in between them. When he passes, though, Trinity winds up and nails Flame with a second chairshot!
Corey Page: Ouch! Save it for later!
Looking happy that she has knocked Flame down to the ground, Trinity drops the chair and walks off. Corey Page, meanwhile, is wheeled away by Crux; and Flame is left on the ground, with a big, red welt on his back.
Singles Match
Suddenly, a voice is heard shouting throughout the arena:
After a loud, thunderous explosion, the epic symphony of "No Leaf Clover" by Metallica blasts over the airways, shaking the arena and deafening the crowd. From out of the smoke appears Chris Extreme, standing in his black boxers and black socks, looking tired from his previous match.
To a mixed reaction from an ambivalent crowd, Chris swaggers arrogantly down to the ring. Half the crowd boos him in hatred while the other half cheers him with admiration. As he struts down the walkway, he slaps a few low fives from cheering fans, while simultaneously cursing and taunting the fans that boo him. Making his way up the steel steps, he enters the ring through the middle rope, and quickly flashes the head of his cock to the camera for all the world to see. After his wardrobe malfunction, he slouches in the corner of the ring and waits for his match to begin, taking a deep breath.
Lex Robinson: The second half of the World Title tournament semi-finals is about to get underway. Out first is Chris Extreme, who is looking worn out from his previous bouts against Flame and the hulking Beau Brant.
Steve Hebert: I still wonder whose cock is larger: Chris's or Beau's. Who do you think, Lex?
Lex Robinson: Just stop. I don't care, not do I wish to know.
Steve Hebert: Pffft. Fine. It's just a question!
T-R-A-V-I-S M-I-L-L-E-R
Like a demon rising from the depths of hell, Travis Miller rises from below the stage to the tune of Arch's Enemy's "We Will Rise". Clad in nearly all black, a mesh shirt, slacks, and new balance sneakers, Travis appears from nowhere, angry, upset, and determined. A flash of fireworks explode in the distance, and smoke fills up the ramp where Travis stands. As the lyrics kick in, he makes his approach to the ring.
TEAR DOWN THE WALLS
WAKE UP THE WORLD!
Travis casually walks down the ramp and towards the ringside area, taking his time to take notice of all the fans in attendance. He slaps a few fans' hands, quickly signs a few autographs and even poses for a few pictures. Regardless of his actions, he looks determined for what is to come.
IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS!
SO FED UP WITH SECOND BEST
OUR TIME IS HERE AND NOW!
I AM THE ENEMY
I AM THE ANTIDOTE
WATCH ME CLOSELY
I WILL STAND UP NOW!
Finishing up his duty to the fans, he makes his way into the ring, where he casually walks up the steps, climbs through the ropes and stretches before the start of his match.
Steve Hebert: And then there's that lazy faggot that got here by doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing in the second round.
Lex Robinson: He had no other choice! He had a bye.
Steve Hebert: I wish he'd go "bye" out the door.
Lex Robinson: But you used to be a fan!
Steve Hebert: That was before he became such a douche.
Lex Robinson: God, you're so confusing sometimes.
Slightly more winded than Travis Miller, Chris Extreme steps into the center of the ring, going face-to-face with his opponent. Miller doesn't back down, not intimidated by Chris Extreme's antics or mind games.
Lex Robinson: They're staring each other down. The winner of this match gets to move on to the finals, where they will take on Jake Norton.
Steve Hebert: Yup, they will take on my boy, Jake Norton, who will be looking to bring some class back to the World Title. If Chris Carson really quit, then who else will do it?
Lex Robinson: Yech.
When the bell rings, both men lock-up, with Chris Extreme being backed into the corner by Travis Miller, who uses his strength to overpower the former 3-time World Champ. As the referee steps in, trying to remove Miller from Extreme, Chris quickly strikes with a simple, but effective tap to the testicles.
Steve Hebert: Did you see that? Chris with a tap to the nuts! Vile! Smart, effective and vile. That's something Jake Norton wouldn't stand for. In Jake I trust.
Lex Robinson: Are you kidding me? Stop it.
Steve Hebert: Hey, I'm telling the truth. Maybe it's time for me to turn a leaf. Maybe it's time for me to reform.
Lex Robinson: Ugh.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, that's probably an awful idea. Nevermind.
Lex Robinson: Of course.
Readjusting his testicles, Travis Miller steps out of the corner, waiting for Chris Extreme to come out, as well. When he does, Chris rushes at Miller, only to have Travis side-step him and take him down with a drop-toe-hold.
Steve Hebert: Damnit, Chris Extreme, don't mess this up. I don't want that dummy anywhere near the World Title.
Lex Robinson: He's easily taken down by Miller, who soon locks on an STF submission. Chris, of course, doesn't take that guff and begins to squirm and wiggle like a child being molested.
Steve Hebert: Just like me and Uncle Larry. Wait... what?
Eventually, Chris Extreme reaches the ropes and Travis Miller is forced to break the hold. After this, Chris rolls to the outside, where he tries to recouperate and recalculate his gameplan.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is wandering around like an old hobo.
Steve Hebert: Note: the "b". No "m".
Lex Robinson: Yes. Finally, he stops, turns around and goes to re-enter but is met with a stomp from Travis Miller.
Steve Hebert: This is just what Beau Brant tried to do!
Lex Robinson: It's not going to work this time, however. As Miller goes to deliver another stomp, Chris reaches in, grabs his ankles and trips him, making him fall to the canvas. Pulling him into the corner, near the ring post, Chris proceeds to crotch Miller against the steel post!
Steve Hebert: Oof! I think Miller may have coughed his testicles up into his mouth.
Lex Robinson: With how he has withered up, I wouldn't doubt it. Chris Extreme rolls back inside and immediately begins putting the boots to him, going all out, showing no mercy to Travis Miller's private parts.
Steve Hebert: His testicles are probably bleeding out of his cock.
Lex Robinson: Lifting Miller up, Chris Extreme takes a second and then snap-suplexes him, dropping him onto his back. Getting back up, Chris unloads with some more stomps, kicking the former Ultraviolence Champion down. Stepping back, Chris allows Miller to rise, only to charge forward and bring him down with a swinging neckbreaker.
Chris gets back up, only to drop down delivering elbows to Travis Miller, rises up again and drops down, delivering more elbows. When he is done, he Irish-whips Miller into the ropes, ducks down and prepares to backdrop him.
Lex Robinson: At full speed, Travis Miller bounces off the ropes... but manages to return with a running boot to Chris Extreme's temple! Caught off-guard, Chris Extreme stumbles back, in a daze. Travis grabs him, lifts him up onto his shoulder and goes for a Death Valley Driver...
Instead of being dropped on his head, though, Chris is able to make a complete turn and land on his feet!
Steve Hebert: Wait... no! Chris stops that! He turns around, kicks Miller in the vagina and then DDTs him!
Lex Robinson: Travis Miller doesn't have a... nevermind.
Getting back up, Chris backs Travis into the corner and pummels him with punches, even climbing to the middle turnbuckle, where he begins unloading on him!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme's fans are going nuts, watching as he pounds away on Travis Miller's head!
Steve Hebert: Good! Kill him! Give us a nice, Halloween murdering!
Lex Robinson: Hopping down, Chris whips Miller across the ring, sending him up-and-over the turnbuckles, where he lands on the ring apron! Chris Extreme follows up by trying to clothesline him...!
Steve Hebert: Shit. It's ducked!
Lex Robinson: In reply, Travis gives Chris a stiff elbow to the face. The two begin slugging it out, with Travis on the ring apron, trying to stay afloat. Fortunately, he is able to keep his composure and maintain his positioning. Latching on to Chris, he hoists him up... and superplexes from inside of the ring to the outside! Holy crap, Chris goes flying to the outside, landing on his back, outside of the ring!
Steve Hebert: Christ. Chris may have broken his friggin' back!
Rolling around on the floor, Chris holds his back, in a rack of pain.
Lex Robinson: Beau Brant did a number on his back, too. This isn't going to help things.
Steve Hebert: Ugh.
Dropping down to the floor, Travis Miller goes after Chris Extreme, lifts him to his feet and whips him into the steel railing! He shashes back-first into the railing, allowing Travis Miller to break the referee's count and then measure him up for a charge.
Steve Hebert: Chris better move the fuck out of the way. I swear to God...
Lex Robinson: Travis Miller with the dash... but Chris drops down, ducks out of the way and abandons any hope of being crushed by Miller against the guardrail!
Steve Hebert: Of course. Just like how Morgana abandoned Corey Page. When he needed someone -- anyone, she left him. She didn't visit him. She didn't give him a single word. He said "you just don't want me anymore", but yet she denied it, which is really funny because it was true. Travis Miller was left hung out to dry, just like Corey Page, over that fake cunt, Morgana. She sickens me. I want to see her suffer. I hope someone does to her what she does to Corey Page. All the lies, the deceit, the manipulation. It's fucking sickening. How about she open her eyes to how she uses and treats people, how about that, Lex? Huh? But no, she can't admit to it. She won't admit to it, but deep inside, she knows it's true. She knows just how fake she is. Soon enough, everyone else will realize it, too; and she will be left with no one. Corey Page was there, though. He accepted her. He considered her a good friend, but she threw it all in his face. She spit in his face. She fucking ruined Corey Page. All he ever wanted was to be friends, but she chewed him up and spit him out. That's why people suck. People are AIDS. People are worse than cancer. Corey Page used to be so happy to have Morgana, but she went and ruined him. She was supposed to be his friend, but all this while, she had been lying to him and leading him on. How was he supposed to know she didn't want him anymore, when he was in a coma. How was he supposed to know? She didn't tell him. Why didn't she just fucking tell him?!
Lex Robinson: ...Jesus, Steve, again? Are you done?
Steve Hebert: I think so.
Lex Robinson: Good, because Chris Extreme has dragged Travis Miller back towards the ringside area and is now bashing his skull off the ring apron. Rolling Miller inside, Chris slides in after him, going on the offensive. In here, Chris hovers over Miller, giving him some stomps to the face and crotch. Picking him up, he pulls Travis in between his legs and begins rubbing his testicles all over Travis Miller's bald head.
Steve Hebert: How embarrassing. Actually, Chris better be careful. Travis used to have Hepatitis!
Chris begins to set Travis up for the straitjacket piledriver. However, Miller grounds himself. To make things worse for Chris, Miller hoists him up onto his shoulders, only to swing him down with a powerful spinebuster!
Steve Hebert: Oh no! That certainly didn't work out as it was supposed to!
Holding his crotch, Travis Miller stands to his feet and leans against the ropes, viewing Chris Extreme knocked on his back. Seeing flashes of a World Title shot in his eyes, he goes on the attack and nails Chris with a running punt to the face!
Lex Robinson: Wow! What a boot to the face from Travis Miller, who is now lifting Chris back up. Not only that, but he lifts Chris onto his shoulders, in a fireman's carry position. He throws Chris forward... and nails a gutbuster across his left knee! Jumping right back up, taking Chris with him, Miller than lands a beautiful uranage, driving Chris directly into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Oh no! He's making the cover...
Travis Miller lays across Chris Extreme, hooking a leg, hoping for a victory...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... and...
...
Steve Hebert: Chris kicks out! As long as Travis Miller doesn't advance, I'm happy. Please, fucking please...
Lex Robinson: Annoyed at the lack of a pinfall, Travis stands, bringing Chris up with him. Kneeing him several times in the gut, Travis pulls him in with a standing headscissors. A double-underhook later, Travis flips Chris in the air and then brings him down with a butterfly-powerbomb into a backbreaker! Not only that, but Travis pulls Chris up and then drives him into the canvas with a back-suplex into a powerbomb! He places his legs across Chris's shoulders, making the cover...!
Steve Hebert: Uh oh. Oh God, no...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Steve Hebert: He kicks out! Yes!
Lex Robinson: Travis Miller is having trouble keeping Chris Extreme down.
Steve Hebert: Thank God.
Lex Robinson: Frustrated, Travis stands to his feet, kicks Chris in the head a few times and backs up. He's waiting for him to stand.
When the time is perfect, Travis charges ahead... only to have Chris Extreme side-steps his rushing attack and nail him with a stiff punch to the crotch!
Lex Robinson: A sneaky punch by Chris wobbles Travis Miller, making him hunch over, trying to fix his, uh, genitals.
Steve Hebert: He needs to focus on the cock. The cock has been proven to be Travis Miller's weak spot. Just like how he was once married to a cock.
Just as Travis turns around, Chris double-underhooks him and drives his head into the canvas with a double-underhook Implant DDT!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Travis Miller's cockhead-looking head has been driven into the mat!
Lex Robinson: But Chris isn't covering him! Instead, Chris has collapsed in the corner, where he tries regaining his strength. He's keeping an eye on Travis, though, watching as he slowly rises, in a complete daze.
Steve Hebert: It's like he's revving up for something...
Lex Robinson: He's motioning with his hand...
Steve Hebert: It's Testicle Claw time!
At the best possible second, Chris Extreme runs at Miller, drops down to one knee and goes for a Testicle Claw. However, Travis blocks his hand!
Lex Robinson: Travis Miller blocks the Testicle Claw!
Steve Hebert: Oh no...
Lex Robinson: Wait... Chris tries with the other hand...!
Steve Hebert: Son of a bitch. Travis Miller blocks that, too!
With no other choice, Chris Extreme is forced to apply the Testicle Claw with his mouth!
Lex Robinson: Oh God, what the hell?
Steve Hebert: Testicle Claw! Oh my God, the Testicle Claw! Chris Extreme is biting on Travis Miller's nuts! This is horrifying!
Howls of pain can be heard shouting from Travis Miller, who struggles valiantly in trying to release himself, but it's no use. The mouth-made Testicle Claw is too much for Travis Miller to sustain, as he is forced to scream out in submission.
Lex Robinson: Travis Miller quits! Chris Extreme does it! He's moving on to the finals, for a chance to become the only 4-time World Champion in Sin Wrestling history!
Steve Hebert: Yes! That's fine with me! As long as it isn't Travis f'n Miller. Besides, what kind of weakling is Travis Miller? Giving up after a simple testicle biting? To hell with him.
Lex Robinson: You try having someone eat your nuts.
Steve Hebert: Please, Lex, don't hit on me. I deserve better.
Lex Robinson: Ridiculous.
The fans of Chris Extreme stand on their feet, applauding him, as he hand raised, a bit of Travis Miller's scrotum blood on his chin. Literally falling out of the ring, breathing heavily, Chris walks to the back, letting a few fans slap him on the back. Travis Miller, meanwhile, is tended to by officials, who treat his wound.
Steve Hebert: Oh, boo-hoo. Get out of here, Miller. Go on.
Lex Robinson: Please shut up. I hope someone does this to you.
Steve Hebert: Just like how I hope someone does to Morgana what--...
Lex Robinson: Ugh. Oh God, no more. Just stop!
Steve Hebert: Hmmph.
An official holds a gauze to Miller's crotch, helping him to the back, while the camera fades out, going to the backstage area.
Winner: Chris Extreme
CORN MAZE MATCH
The camera switches to the outside portion of the warehouse, showing Beau Brant wandering through a corn maze, wielding a long, steel pipe. He is whacking through the corn husks, with a referee, looking for his opponents, for this Ultraviolence Title Match.
Lex Robinson: Beau Brant is out back, looking to become the Ultraviolence Champ. Where are they?
Steve Hebert: Throw some green paint on that motherfucker and he could get confused with the Hulk.
Lex Robinson: He ran into a roadblock tonight by walking into Chris Extreme. Well, not so much a roadblock--...
Steve Hebert: Yes, he was outwitted because he's a big, dumb oaf.
Lex Robinson: Granted, he still hasn't had his shoulders pinned to the mat.
Out of nowhere, a giant sack comes smashing down across the back of Beau Brant's head, knocking him down to his knees.
Lee Kemp: Trick or treat.
Lee Kemp stands behind Beau Brant, holding the sack of doorknobs in his hand, giving him some kicks to the head.
Steve Hebert: Lee Kemp out of nowhere!
Lex Robinson: Lee Kemp, who had a good showing earlier tonight, looks to get revenge on losing to Beau Brant earlier in the night, with a sneak attack, knocking him into the corn husks! He begins kicking and stomping on him, hoping to wear him down...
Steve Hebert: Wait... there's Trinity! She sneaks up behind Lee Kemp, with a trashcan full of objects in her hand. She holds the trashcan high... and clocks him across the back of the skull, knocking him down, next to Beau Brant!
Lex Robinson: What a shot! She removes a crutch from the trashcan and begins smashing it off Beau Brant's back and even kicks and stomps at Lee Kemp, the man formerly named Punisher. She stands Lee Kemp up, places the trashcan over his head and winds up, about to attack. She nails a dropkick to the trashcan, knocking Lee Kemp backwards, into the corn husks!
Lee Kemp is left stumbling near the corn, having the trashcan still dumped over his head. Meanwhile, Flame now comes into the picture, creeping up on Trinity...
Steve Hebert: Now that retard, Flame, is here. Surely to lose yet another match, with his stellar record.
Lex Robinson: He swings Trinity around... and he throws a fireball at her! Whoa!
Steve Hebert: She was able to duck out of the way, though! The flame goes directly into the corn, setting it on fire! Oh my God, call the firetrucks.
A row of corn lights, set ablaze due to Flame's inaccuracy. Trinity is given the chance to jump on Flame's back, scratching at his face, while Flame stumbles around, trying to remove herself from his back.
Steve Hebert: Scratch that asshole's eyes out!
Lex Robinson: Trinity's peeling away at his facepaint, trying to tear his eyes out. However, Beau Brant is now on his feet... and Trinity and Flame stumble into him. He wraps his arms around both of them... and sends them both flying overhead, with a release belly-to-back suplex!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, they go sprawling into the corn! Beau turns to Lee Kemp, next. He still has that trashcan over his head. How ridiculous does he look?
Lex Robinson: Beau begins smashing on the trashcan, beating Lee Kemp, who is stuck inside, no doubt creating a ringing in his ears. He takes several steps back and springs forward... bam! Beau collides with the trashcan, sending Lee Kemp flying! That hit like a freight train!
Steve Hebert: Both Lee Kemp and the trashcan go flying, with that dummy, Lee, going one way and the trashcan the other. Beau wastes no time in picking him back up, too.
Right away, Beau Brant begins slugging away at Lee Kemp, working over his body and his head. However, he is soon struck by a scarecrow...!
Lex Robinson: Flame has uprooted an evil scarecrow and has cracked him across the back of Beau Brant!
Steve Hebert: It doesn't even drop the motherfucker, only bringing him down to one knee!
Lex Robinson: With the crackling of corn and fire, Flame cracks half of the scarecrow across Beau Brant's head, trying to completely drop him! Flame even kicks him several times in the face, opting to pick up the trashcan and then belt it across Beau's face!
Steve Hebert: That big lug may be bleeding, but he's still not completely down!
Taking some steps back, Flame charges at Beau, who has a wall of fire behind him. To combat this, Beau strikes first, nailing a jumping spear at Flame, knocking him in a complete 360 fall!
Lex Robinson: Spear! Beau Brant stops Flame in his tracks!
Steve Hebert: Stop him? He fucking ran him over!
Flame remains on the ground, writhing in pain, while Trinity takes her turn, going after Beau Brant, striking him with some kicks, nailing him in his bloody forehead. After a series of strikes, Beau blocks her shots, tucks her legs under his arm and pulls her close.
Lex Robinson: He stops Trinity! Head-and-arm suplex by Beau Brant!
Steve Hebert: Just as that happens, though, Lee Kemp jumps through the wall of fire, with a handful of corn. Jesus. He's stuffing it into Beau Brant's face! All that needless starch! He's going to carbohydrate Beau Brant to death!
As Flame and Trinity lay need the flames, they begin to rise, exchanging blows with each other, feeling the damage Beau Brant has done to them.
Lex Robinson: Flame and Trinity are brawling, while Lee Kemp is hammering away at Beau Brant, pushing him into a row of corn! Someone's going to catch on fire, if this isn't under control!
Steve Hebert: Good! Burn 'em all.
Lex Robinson: As Trinity and Flame rise, striking each other, Flame grabs Trinity by the hair and lowers her face near the flames! He's going to scorch her!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, no. He can't do that...! Her face is nearing those flickering flames...
Lex Robinson: No! She tears away from him and drop-toe-holds him into the fire!
Steve Hebert: Haha, oh God, Flame just went into the fire! He hops up, Flame's shooting up his gear, trying to extinguish himself. Seeing this, Lee Kemp turns around and decides to just extinguish him by nailing him with the trashcan!
Lex Robinson: Trinity looks on, listening to Flame's howls of horror, smirking at what she's done.
Steve Hebert: It's devilish, but it happened to Flame... so I like it.
As Lee Kemp stands over Flame, Beau Brant rises behind him, like a monster. Clubbing Lee from behind, Beau hoists him up into the air and throws him into a row of corn, while firemen arrive, putting out the fire on Flame and on the husks!
Lex Robinson: Finally, help has arrived!
Steve Hebert: For mostly that poor, precious corn.
Lex Robinson: Trinity walks over to Flame, who is on the ground, smoldering and instructs Beau Brant to lift him up and hurt him some more. However, Beau grabs her and flings her into the corn, as well!
Steve Hebert: Hey, that's not nice! How dare he!
Lex Robinson: With just Flame in front of him, Beau lifts Flame up, puts him on his shoulders... and hits Beau's Beast! My God, poor Flame has been decimated!
Steve Hebert: Good! Fuck him.
Lex Robinson: A bloody Beau Brant places his foot across Flame's chest, getting the pinfall. The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...3!
Steve Hebert: Beau Brant wins! Dear God, he is a machine.
Lex Robinson: What a showing he has made tonight. He may not have gotten past Chris Extreme, but goddamn, he did good. He's walking away as the new Ultraviolence Champion. What a task!
After the match, Beau Brant is awarded with the Ultraviolence Title, having it handed to him by the referee. Holding it in the air, he walks out of smouldering corn maze, being accosted by his posse, who pat him on the back, giving him well-wishes.
Lex Robinson: He really is something. What a beast.
The image fades out, returning to the ringside area, showing Beau Brant slinging the Ultraviolence Title over his right shoulder, having a bloodied face.
Winner: Beau Brant
Stevie Swing: What do you mean I'm not in the main event? Jake Norton? That faggot?! That douchebag can't be in the main event of fucking Illusions! He's terrible!
Official: I'm sorry, Miss Swing--...
Mr. Kagamusha: ATTACK-U!
Just as ordered, Stevie slices at the officials face with her cat claw, leaving a red slash down his face.
Stevie Swing: Wh-- what... what the hell did I just do?
Stevie stands over the fallen referee, looking confused. Showing zero remorse, she jumps over the fallen official and walks away, mumbling to herself.
Stevie Swing: It's supposed to be me versus Chris "The Faggot" Extreme! I'm the one with the title shot! I won Over the Top Rope! Where's my fucking title shot?!
Mr. Kagamusha: ATTACK-U!
Again, as ordered, Stevie slashes a second official across the face! Like a maniacal cat, she wanders off, letting the main event commence.
Singles Match
The cameras focus on the announcer's table, showing the World Title sitting between two lit Jack-O-Lanterns. The lights in the arena dim and everyone prepares for tonight's main event.
Lex Robinson: Here we go! The main event is here. It's the finals of tonight's one night only World Title tournament. Right here, on Halloween, a new World Champion will be crowned. Who the hell will it be?
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton, obviously.
Lex Robinson: It's certainly possible. The two men left standing are Jake Norton and Chris Extreme. It's a battle of, uh, good versus bad, I guess.
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton's bringing politically correct back into the mainstream. No more violence, gore, bloodshed or anything of the sort. It's all about being a "good man". Even I could learn a few things.
Lex Robinson: For the last time tonight, stop it!
"Hero" by Skillet plays over the PA system, with some fans jeering. Jake Norton appears from behind the curtain and he receives a louder jeer. Norton begins to strut his way to the ring; feeding the negative reaction with his happiness. From here, he slides inside the ring, while a 16 year old girl is seen shamelessly crying out of joy in the front row. Inside the ring, Norton pauses and directs his attention towards the audience on the ramp's left side, joyfully stretching out his arms in a shrugging fashion with a smile, while receiving a mixture of cheers and boos.
Steve Hebert: Finally, there he is. The next World Champion, Jake Norton. He surprised everyone in getting here to the finals. He narrowly defeated Deicide; he shocked the world by defeating Stevie Swing; and, well, everyone knew he'd beat that douchebag, Cameron Blake. This is his time to shine; and he'll do it, too.
Lex Robinson: Well, he has his chance, that's for sure. What better way to celebrate Halloween? This will mark the 4th time the World Title has been won by someone, two of which done by the late, great Tony Millennia.
Steve Hebert: I'm certain Jake Norton will win tonight and bring some prestige back into it.
Lex Robinson: We'll see.
Suddenly, a voice is heard shouting throughout the arena:
After a loud, thunderous explosion, the epic symphony of "No Leaf Clover" by Metallica blasts over the airways, shaking the arena and deafening the crowd. From out of the smoke appears Chris Extreme, standing in his black boxers and black socks, looking tired from his previous matches.
To a mixed reaction from an ambivalent crowd, Chris swaggers arrogantly down to the ring. Half the crowd boos him in hatred while the other half cheers him with admiration. As he struts down the walkway, he slaps a few low fives from cheering fans, while simultaneously cursing and taunting the fans that boo him. Making his way up the steel steps, he enters the ring through the middle rope, and quickly flashes the head of his cock to the camera for all the world to see. After his wardrobe malfunction, he slouches in the corner of the ring and waits for his match to begin, taking a deep breath.
Lex Robinson: This is Chris Extreme's chance at becoming a 4-time World Champion. In order to do so, he'll have to defeat Jake Norton.
Before anything can happen, Chris Extreme stands to his feet and motions for the microphone. Taking it, he steps into the center of the ring and begins to talk.
Steve Hebert: Now what?
Chris Extreme: Just like Chris Carson, I have an important message.
Lex Robinson: Huh?
Chris Extreme: I'd like to let it be known that I, Chris Extreme, am dying. Cancer. I am dying of cancer.
Lex Robinson: What?! Is this for real?!
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, I hope so. It's either cancer or AIDS. Hopefully Ebola.
Lex Robinson: I... I don't know what to say...
There's a hush over the audience. No one knows what to say.
Chris Extreme: I regret to inform you all that I only have 3 months left to live.
He turns to Jake Norton.
Chris Extreme: So, remember, I'm a cancer patient. You're a nice, upstanding citizen now. You wouldn't hurt a cancer patient, would you?
Handing the microphone off to the ring announcer, Chris waits for the bell to ring, while Jake Norton begins yapping at him.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is mouthing off to him... at a cancer patient.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, right, that's just the usual Chris Extreme lies. It's just a mind game, Lex. Don't get suckered in. He probably mistook the common cold as cancer.
Lex Robinson: I don't know what to think. This has been a weird night.
Ding... ding... ding!
Lex Robinson: There's the bell!
The match starts off with Jake Norton stepping up to Chris Extreme, offering a nice, gentlemanly handshake.
Steve Hebert: Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.
Lex Robinson: It just gets weirder. It really is Halloween.
Steve Hebert: Hell no. Jake Norton is a good guy, now.
Lex Robinson: These fans aren't convinced. They jeer the attempted handshake, with Chris's fans warning him not to accept it. In fact, Chris replies with a gesture of his own: a middle finger.
Steve Hebert: Have some class. Now, Lex, tell me, is this a genital wart or not?
Quickly pulling his hand back, Jake Norton looks around at the audience and scoffs. Finally, he takes a limping run at Chris, only to have the former World Champ step aside and casually drop to one knee and punch him in the crotch!
Steve Hebert: Cock punch! The dreaded cock punch! That's not fair! Call for the bell, referee. New World Champion, Jake Norton.
Lex Robinson: I think not. Chris Extreme admires his hand, looks at Jake Norton, who has toppled over and is holding his crotch and gets to his feet. Using two hands, Chris Extreme lifts Norton up and then flings him over the top rope, dumping him all the way to the floor!
Steve Hebert: Agh! Jake could have really hurt himself there!
Lex Robinson: Chris follows after him by dropping down, as to not injure his back any further. He rolls to the floor, where he stands over Jake Norton, who had been in agony. Lifting him up, Chris punches him across the face and begins biting on his neck!
Steve Hebert: Oh shit, it's Chrisward Cullen. Get Buffy here so that he can fuck her... then she can shoot him in the cock.
Pulling the rabid Chris Extreme off him, Jake Norton fires back with some punches of his own, then wraps his arms around Chris's waist and forcefully backs him against the steel railing!
Steve Hebert: Bam! Back first goes Chris. If Norton can work over that back for a little longer, I think he can walk out as the new champion.
Lex Robinson: He decides to just roll Chris back in the ring, instead. I guess he'll wrestle a nice, clean match, then.
Steve Hebert: Ugh, for cryin' out loud. Just get a chair and wallop him to death.
Sliding in behind Chris Extreme, Jake Norton is quick to jam a knee into his back, followed by a reverse-chinlock. Chris, however, is equally responsive to fighting back and hastily makes his way to his feet, where he strikes Norton with an elbow and hoists him into the air.
Lex Robinson: Chris is able to squirm his way to his feet. He has Norton held into the air... and atomic drops him! Right on his tailbone lands Jake Norton.
Steve Hebert: Looked more like a cock landing, to me.
Lex Robinson: Noticing Jake Norton limp around on his right leg, Chris follows in and swiftly kicks his legs out from under him, knocking Jake onto his back. Like an animal, Chris begins to repeatedly kick and stomp at his right leg, wishbone splitting it, like how Stevie Swing did earlier in the night. Not only that, but Chris grabs onto Jake Norton's leg and goes for a single-leg Boston Crab!
Steve Hebert: Stevie Swing tried this earlier in the night, as well. However, it almost resulted in her getting rolled up for victory.
Lex Robinson: Things are a tad different this time around. Chris has this submission locked on, pulling back on Norton's right leg, using all of his might. Frantically, Jake reaches out, looking for salvation, but the ropes are just a little too far...
Steve Hebert: Reach, Norton, damnit! Reach!
The closer he gets to the ropes, the more Chris pulls. Finally, after some time, he reaches the ropes, with the referee stepping in, warning Chris to release the hold.
...1...2...3...4...
Lex Robinson: He's on the ropes, but Chris isn't letting go.
Steve Hebert: A disqualification win is still a respectable win!
Lex Robinson: The referee is warning him...
Steve Hebert: Keep it on, Chris. Come on. Get DQ'ed.
After another warning, Chris finally relinquishes the hold, stands to his feet and happily smiles at Jake Norton, who tried climbing to his feet, finding it quite difficult. Right away, Chris Extreme remains on him, grabbing his feet, yanking him away from the ropes and pulling him into the center of the ring.
Steve Hebert: Oh God, staying by those ropes was the best thing Jake Norton could have done; and now he's out in "No Man's Land".
Lex Robinson: Chris has his legs tucked beneath his arms and he slingshots him across the ring, sending Jake Norton flying! He lands across the top rope and rebounds, sending him high into the air and crashing onto the ring apron! He landed awkwardly, as well.
Steve Hebert: This is not good. We need a nice, clean champ. We need Jake Norton to do what Chris Carson could not.
Shrugging off the nagging pain in his back, Chris is in hot pursuit of his fellow finalist. He steps out onto the ring apron with Norton, picks him up and goes to place him into a spike-piledriver. However, Jake Norton has other plans.
Lex Robinson: Wait, Jake Norton stops Chris. They're on the apron and Jake is trying to maintain his balance, while between Chris's legs. What's Norton going to do?
Steve Hebert: He's able to hold on to the ropes, disabling him from being lifted upside-down. Thanks to this, he... he bites Chris on the thigh! Shit, that'd get it done.
Lex Robinson: So much for being classy, hey?
Steve Hebert: You gotta do what you gotta go. Furthermore, he has Chris, turns him around and Dragon-Suplexes him, dropping him onto the apron! That's the exposed area, too. There's no padding, no spring... there's nothing there, whatsoever.
Lex Robinson: Wow, that had to injure Chris Extreme's back even further. Goddamn.
Steve Hebert: And now Jake Norton is applying the Rivera Cloverleaf... but on the apron of the ring! Does this count is Chris Extreme quits?!
Lex Robinson: Absolutely not. It has to be done inside of the ring!
Steve Hebert: Oh, come on.
Lex Robinson: It doesn't. Hell, Chris Extreme is tangled in the ropes and it's prompting the referee to move in, warning Jake Norton to let go.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, but unlike that scumbag, Chris, he releases the hold. Granted, I like scumbags, but I like family men even more. It shows honour, you know.
Lex Robinson: Still on the apron, Jake Norton stands, looking for support from the fans, but gets jeered by most; and whistles from many females. Nonetheless, he takes Chris Extreme up with him and is about to mush his face against the top turnbuckle, while on the outer portion of the apron, but Chris gets his foot up, blocking it.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh. Chris slams Jake Norton's face into that buckle, instead! That wasn't supposed to happen!
Jake stumbles back, caught by surprise. Thanks to this, Chris is able to grab on to him and then clothesline him over the top rope, sending him back into the ring. However, just as Chris goes to get back inside, Jake Norton is able to reach up and connect with an uppercut to Chris's jaw, leaving him strung out across the middle rope.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is left hanging halfway in the ring, and halfway out. Bummed leg and all, Jake positions his opponent so that he can sunset-flip over Chris and finish off, using the momentum to bring Chris down onto the floor with a sunset-flip powerbomb!
Steve Hebert: And Chris cracks through the floor! Holy shit!
Lex Robinson: The wooden floor beneath Chris manages to crack a bit, sending him through it! Oh my God...!
Steve Hebert: That just goes to show you how fast Jake Norton flipped over him! Unfortunately, it also hurt Jake, as he seems to have twisted that goddamn right leg of his. He was better off getting it amputed before coming out here, seeing as how much it has impeded him.
Lex Robinson: Well, Chris is currently being impeded by being thrown through that wooden floor. The fans are on their feet, trying to believe what they just bared witness to. I can't believe it, either. Stumbling towards Chris, Jake yanks him to his feet, allowing wood chips to fall from Chris's back, showing some splinters that are stuck in his back.
Steve Hebert: There's a tiny trickle of blood coming down, too. Fucking awful. That was not supposed to happen, Lex.
Lex Robinson: It worked out just fine for Norton, though, as he has Chris up and is throwing him into the ring steps, which topple over! Heck, Norton looks almost ashamed of himself, appearing as if he didn't mean to throw Chris into them.
Steve Hebert: Of course not. He wants a clean match.
Lex Robinson: The referee, in wanting a clear-cut winner, has opted not to count each man out, as well. They're free to bash each other's brains in out here.
Steve Hebert: That's what I'm afraid of. Keep them away from us.
Lex Robinson: Both of them have gone through so much here tonight, neither of them being the recipient of a bye. Right now, Jake Norton is on top and is punching Chris Extreme until Chris is leaning against the railing, finding it extremely difficult to remain standing. Next, he delivers chop after chop and then goes to deliver a suplex to him...
Steve Hebert: But it's blocked...!
Lex Robinson: Again, Norton attempts to lift Extreme into the air. Again, he can't get him up. Giving up, a frustrated Jake Norton smashes Chris's face off the ring apron and goes to suplex him one more time.
Steve Hebert: No! Chris Extreme reverses it! He lifts Jake Norton up... only to drop him squarely across the ring railing, stomach first! Son of a bitch!
Lex Robinson: Making things worse for Norton, Chris Extreme has him by the head and is slowly dangling him off the railing. Norton has had zero time to heal from being dropped stomach-first across that steel... and he DDTs Jake Norton, whose head goes smashing onto the floor!
Steve Hebert: Oh no...!
Slowly, Chris stands and waddles around in his boxers, like a drunkard. The pain is almost too much for him, but he battles on, even sliding a wooden table out from beneath the ring.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh. This is not right! This is against everything Jake Norton believes in.
Lex Robinson: Not only does he have a table, but Chris also has a steel chair, which he throws inside.
Steve Hebert: It's like he's setting up for dinner or something, tsss tsss.
Setting the table up on the floor, an exhausted Chris Extreme turns around, lifts Jake Norton to his feet and then lays him on it. Next, Chris climbs onto the ring apron, where he seems to measure Norton up...
Lex Robinson Is Chris going to dive off? Holy hell, that'd be a first. The last time I saw Chris Extreme jump for something was when, uh--...
Steve Hebert: You're thinking of a punchline, aren't ya?
Lex Robinson: I'm trying. That's all that matters.
Steve Hebert: I'd finish the joke, but it'd be racist and racists are bad people, according to Jake Norton. I'm trying to clean my awful life up, bit by bit.
Lex Robinson: Ugh.
Looking a little out of place, Chris stands on the middle rope. He looks around, listens to the cheering fans and decides to climb to the very top turnbuckle. However, this proves to be a mistake, as it allows Jake Norton to stir.
Steve Hebert: Wait, wait, wait...! Jake Norton is up! He looks sickened by the fact that Chris Extreme resorted to such tactics as placing him on that table. Hopping onto the apron, he catches Chris off-guard with a punch and begins climbing up alongside him!
Lex Robinson: They're battling it out in front of us, on the top turnbuckle, vying for positioning. Who will win this battle?!
On the top rope, Chris sends some knuckles to Jake's face. However, Norton responds by punching at Chris's jaw, trying to wear him down. They go shot-for-shot, looking to outlast the other, until they're both woozy and barely able to hang on.
Lex Robinson: Both of them may end up plummeting from that top rope. This is extremely dangerous, especially for Chris, who literally created a hole in the floor!
Steve Hebert: Chris is fighting Norton off! Over and over again, Chris hammers away at Jake Norton's face! He may be setting up for that Cock Factor off the top rope and through the outside table!
Lex Robinson: You're right, Steve. He's gonna do it...!
Steve Hebert: No...! Norton stops him! Actually, Norton grabs him and dives back into the ring with him! He hits a stunner from the top rope onto Chris Extreme! This is it! He has him! Jake Norton is covering Chris Extreme!
Laying his back across the former World Champ, Norton makes the cover...
Lex Robinson: Is this it...?! Is this going to be it?!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...!
...
Steve Hebert: He kicks out! How the hell?!
Lex Robinson: I don't even know! But he did it! This match continues!
The injury to Jake Norton's leg sufficiently slows him down, disabling him from quickly rising. He is forced to use the chair that Chris had thrown in to help him stand, setting it up, aiding him in getting back to his feet.
Lex Robinson: A slow rising Jake Norton is forced to use the chair to help him stand. But he's looking at it awkwardly, as if he should use it. Will he?
Steve Hebert: No way. Doing so would negate everything he's fighting for tonight. Granted, one good shot would put Chris Extreme away. Hmmm...
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is picking it up, examining the chair. Remember, there has to be a winner in this match... a definitive winner.
Jake Norton holds the chair close, looking at it, with the fans chanting for him to use it.
Steve Hebert: These fans want him to use it, so in my contrarian values, I am going to suggest he not use it.
Lex Robinson: You would. Chris is getting to his feet and Norton is going to strike him with it. I can feel it. All that "nice guy" stuff was just horseshit. I know it.
Norton winds up, about to hit Chris Extreme with it. However, at the last second, he pulls back, sits the chair down, sits on it and then applies a Dragon Sleeper to Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: Hah! So much for your theory, Lex! He's just getting a rest, while trying to make Chris Extreme submit.
Lex Robinson: Well, he surprised me. I thought for sure he was going to use it. I guess, for now, Chris has to worry about escaping that Dragon Sleeper.
Steve Hebert: If he can even do it.
The hold remains locked on tight, with Jake Norton looking like he refuses to release it. Chris Extreme struggles to breathe, slowly being worn down, having Jake Norton draped all over him.
Steve Hebert: Tap, you misanthropic, Nazi bastard, tap!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme may be a lunatic; but he's one tough nutcase. He's going to do his best to remain afloat.
Steve Hebert: The referee is moving in and checking on him. C'mon...
The referee holds Chris's arm up.
Lex Robinson: Is he still awake?
...it falls once...
Steve Hebert: The referee is lifting his arm up for a second time...
Again, it falls...!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Once more and it'll be Jake Norton who is crowned the new World Champion... all while sitting in that comfortable chair!
Lex Robinson: Here we go...
...his hand is raised...
Lex Robinson: It fa--...
...
Lex Robinson: No! Chris pops his hand up, much to the delight of these fans, who are rallying behind him, of all people! He doesn't need Chrisgana, Morganas or even the fans, for that matter. He's fighting for himself and to become the 4-time champion.
Energy surges throughout Chris's body, allowing him to get back to a kneeling position, which also pulls Jake Norton off the chair. Feeling around, Chris actually gets his hands on the chair and is able to use it to swing overhead and smash against Norton's skull!
Lex Robinson: He did it! He escaped!
The chair, which is still setup, goes tumbling to the ground, landing on its legs. Meanwhile, Chris falls in one direction and Norton in the other, both men worn absolutely out.
Steve Hebert: Ugh... they're both out. This is nuts.
On the area of the ring closest to the announcers, Chris uses the ropes to help him stand. Across from him, Jake Norton rises, also using the ropes. With a limp in his step, Norton begins to charge at Chris...
Lex Robinson: Chris has his back turned. He doesn't see Jake Norton come at him...
Steve Hebert: He turns around... wait! He vaults Jake Norton out of the ring, sending him flying over the top rope with a hip toss! Oh no...!
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton goes smashing through that wooden table Chris Extreme had setup!
Steve Hebert: No! Shit, goddamnit, no!
Jake Norton remains crumpled up in the two pieces of the table, looking absolutely destroyed. In the ring, Chris is on his feet, getting the fans riled up.
Lex Robinson: The fans are in an uproar! Jake Norton is out! My throat is going! This is insane!
Gently rolling to the floor, Chris picks up Jake Norton and rolls him back into the ring. Crawling inside, Chris covers him, looking for the three-count.
Lex Robinson: Chris has him back inside and is making the cover...!
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit. I knew Norton should have just cheated.
The referee starts his count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Lex Robinson: Thr--...
Steve Hebert: No! Norton places his left leg on the bottom rope! That's his healthier leg, too! Chris should have hooked that one!
Lex Robinson: But he didn't... and so the match goes on.
Steve Hebert: Thank heavens.
Lex Robinson: There's a standing chair in that ring; and two very tired, extremely sore performers. There's no telling what else could go on.
Stevie Hebert: Chris will bleed cancer into Jake Norton's mouth, that's what.
Lex Robinson: Jake Norton is worse than cancer, anyhow. His attitude stinks!
Steve Hebert: You're just an immoral oaf. God hates fag likes you.
Lex Robinson: Okay, Fred Phelps.
Again, Chris Extreme uses the ropes to help him stand, focusing mainly on the top rope. He turns around, views Jake Norton on his hands and knees and begins rubbing his crotch.
Steve Hebert: This is disturbing.
Lex Robinson: It sure is something. He's, eh, getting erect.
Steve Hebert: On one hand, all that blood and oxygen is leaving his brain. On the other, it's Chris Extreme and he's a goddamn pederast.
Lex Robinson: I wouldn't go that far; but he is a pervert.
Steve Hebert: The man is sick in the head. It's probably the cancer.
Lex Robinson: Seeing Jake Norton stumble and rise, Chris creeps up on him and goes for a straitjacket German suplex! But Norton struggles, doing his best not to be taken over. He struggles so much, that he takes some strides forward, being able to stand on his right leg, hoping to tie himself up in the ropes. Norton hunches over, trying to reach out to them... it's so close...
Steve Hebert: Oh God... Chris Extreme is smashing his cock off Norton's asshole, too. How demoralizing! I will not stand for this near-sodomy!
Lex Robinson: Chris thrusts... Norton bends... Steve vomits. This is so close!
Steve Hebert: The thrusting... make it stop; make it stop!
Fortunately, Norton reaches the ropes, making Chris release the hold. The second he does, though, Norton swings his foot back, kicking Chris Extreme in the crotch!
Lex Robinson: Hey, wait!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Great move by Jake Norton! A simple kick to the cock!
Lex Robinson: How moral was that? It doesn't matter, anyhow, because it doesn't faze Chris in the slightest. In fact, it seems to anger him! In retaliation, he slaps Norton across the face, knocking him against the ropes and follows that up with a spinning back-handed slap! As Norton stumbles out from the ropes, he kicks him in the right kneecap and then goes to hit his version of a stunner, which he calls The Castrater!
Steve Hebert: No! In an act of desperation, Jake Norton pushes Chris Extreme forward, throwing him into the ropes! Chris comes back, with a full burst of speed... LARIAT! Jake Norton takes Chris Extreme's head off with a fucking lariat! Happy Halloween, everyone, we have a live decapitation!
Lex Robinson: His head is still there... but barely! Norton is on the mat and Chris Extreme is just inches away from him. Jake just needs to crawl over and make the cover...
For several seconds, Jake Norton remains motionless on the mat. However, when he looks to his right and notices Chris Extreme breathing heavily, while laid out on his back, he begins crawling towards him.
Steve Hebert: The pain and agony is evident on his face. Even so, Jake Norton crawls towards Chris...
Finally, after several wasted seconds, Jake Norton slings his right arm across Chris's chest, hoping for the pinfall victory.
Lex Robinson: There it is! The count is being made...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...
Lex Robinson: No! Chris Extreme kicks out! Holy mother of God!
Steve Hebert: What the hell?! Jake Norton had that won! If only he had covered him sooner! He could have fallen a little more to the right and he could be the new World Champ right now. Fuck me.
Lex Robinson: Rolling onto his side, in disbelief, Jake Norton sits up, while Chris Extreme remains hung out to dry.
Steve Hebert: Hung out to dry, eh? Like how Corey Page was hung out to dry by Morgana, who "moved on"? What kind of person does that, without even informing the other person, especially when the other person is at their lowest. When--...
Lex Robinson: Fucking shut up already!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, you don't have to swear.
Barely able to stand, putting all of his weight on his healthy left leg, Jake Norton forces Chris to stand by dragging him up by his ears. Scooping Chris up, he holds him up into a Tombstone Piledriver position.
Steve Hebert: This is going to be it! I can feel it, now!
Unfortunately for Jake, his right leg gives out. As a result, he begins to fall back, with Chris now reversing things, putting Jake into a Tombstone Piledriver position of his own!
Lex Robinson: What a reversal of fortune for Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: Jake Norton's leg gave out! It's not fair!
Lex Robinson: I would be more concerned with the penile-thrusts Chris is giving Jake, punching Norton in the face with his cock! How awful!
Steve Hebert: Sickening! How immoral! That's a slap in the face of Jake Norton! This is awful!
Lex Robinson: Halting the embarrassment for a second, Chris pulls Norton up into the air, twists him around and twirls him out...!
Steve Hebert: Cock Factor! Chris Extreme was able to shift that Tombstone into a Cock Factor! What the hell?! No!
Lex Robinson: Cock-to-face, face-to-mat! Jake Norton has been driven into the canvas! Chris Extreme is making the cover! The fans are counting along...!
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
Steve Hebert: No, not like this...!
...3!
Lex Robinson: He's done it! Chris Extreme has done it! He has become a 4-time World Champion!
Steve Hebert: Poor Jake. Poor, poor Jake...
The bell rings and the referee grabs the World Title from the announcer's desk, rolls inside with it and hands it over to Chris Extreme, while Rammstein's "Sonne" blasts in the background.
Lex Robinson: What a night. Chris Extreme has outlasted everyone in this tournament to become the 4-time World Champion. He--...
Suddenly, Lex is cutoff by the sound of "Overcome" by Creed..!
Steve Hebert: It's Chris Carson! What's he doing out here? I thought he retired!
Lex Robinson: My thoughts exactly. What IS he doing out here?
In the ring, Chris Extreme stands, wrapping his newly won World Title around his waist. He watches as Chris Carson walks out, microphone in hand, looking absolutely appauled. He doesn't have to wait long to hear Carson speak.
Chris Carson: This...! This is why Sin Wrestling should have remained destroyed.
He points to the ringside area, at Chris Extreme, who blows snot from his nose.
Lex Robinson: How condescending...
Chris Carson: It's people like Chris Extreme... and all of you...
Pointing all around the warehouse, he signals out the fans and then points into the camera.
Chris Carson: ...are the reason why I quit wrestling. There will be no more blood from me. This place advances everything unclean and filthy about society. It makes me sick--...
Before Chris Carson can utter another word, Stevie Swing slides out of the audience behind CHris Extreme and rolls into the ring. The crowd is in an uproar, calling out to Chris Extreme, wanting him to turn around.
Lex Robinson: Wait... wait...
Steve Hebert: It's Stevie Swing! Hey, Stevie...!
She attacks Chris Extreme from behind, nailing him with a jumping-knee to his spine, sending him forward.
Lex Robinson: What is she doing out here?!
Steve Hebert: She's kicking some ass, that's what! Kill him, Stevie!
Aiming for another strike, she goes for The Last Dance, but Chris catches her foot! He spins her around, kicks her and then gives her The Cock Factor, as well!
Lex Robinson: Cock Factor for Stevie Swing, as well!
Meanwhile, at the halfway down the entrance, Chris Carson remains looking on, simply shaking his head.
Chris Carson: You see... you see all of that? Sickening. Chris Extreme, all of you--...
The words are barely out of his mouth, as a rejuvenated Chris Extreme rolls out of the ring and chases up the entrance, going after Chris Carson, much to the delight of the fans!
Steve Hebert: No! Chris is going after Chris Carson!
Lex Robinson: He's on a roll. Why the hell not?
Chris Carson doesn't even have the time to defend himself, as Chris Extreme attacks him with oblivious, striking him with fury. Smashing Chris Carson's face off the ring railing, Chris Extreme grabs Carson's long hair and throws him into a mock casket that had been setup as part of the stage!
Steve Hebert: Hey! He just threw Chris Carson into a casket!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme stands tall! He defeated Jake Norton in the finals to become new World Champion; he fought off Stevie Swing's attack; and he has thrown Chris Carson into a casket. How oddly fitting. What a night. Happy Halloween, everyone! It's great to be back.
Steve Hebert: Speak for yourself.
2010's version of Illusions comes to a conclusion, last showing Jake Norton laying in the corner, getting help from officials, due to his bummed leg; Stevie Swing laid out on the canvas; and Chris Carson heaved into the casket.
Fade out!
Winner: Chris Extreme